NO NEED TO BE SCARED THIS SEASON!
‘Twas the night before Opening Day, when all through the park
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lark;
The bats were all hung by the helmets with care,
In hopes that the Phillies soon would be there;
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of a parade danced in their heads;
Mom in her Hoskins jersey, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long Spring nap,
When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to Citizen’s Bank I flew like a flash,
Tore up 476 and almost near crashed.
Phillies Bunts staff was blogging cuz yo! that’s our biz
With Joe S. and Hood and CEO Wriz
Joe reporting on Facebook, Wriz is on twitter
We put Phillies Nation right in the toilet
When, my wondering eyes saw the mound and the bases
With our young core, plus some new faces
Gabe Kap’s our new skipper he’s tan and all shredded
And we picked up an ace in one Jake Arrieta
More rapid than the Eagles his courses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted and, called them by name,
“Now, Nola! Now, Eickhoff! Nick Pivetta too!
On Vinnie and Ben to round out the crew
From the dugout! To the top of the wall!
They dashed away! Dashed away! Dashed away all!
As dirt kicked up before the wild hurricanes fly.
Now that Scotty got paid, Quinn’s back at Lehigh
Kruky and T*Mac were calling the game,
‘Boy we miss Harry’; Oh! What a shame,
Franco is back, for now anyway
We open this season away at the Braves
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Aaron was set and took to the mound.
He was dressed in a throwback, from his head to his foot,
And the strength of his arm could throw a shot put;
The Mets overrated; the ‘Gnats playoff is slop;
The Marlins are played out like the Braves tomahawk.
Three up and three down as Jorge made calls!
Two strike-outs, a pop-out, and only one ball!
Carlos is here to offer Rhys some protection
Gabe’s got coconut oil to grease his sore shoulder
Neshak re-signed, the bullpen is stacked
Herrera, Altherr and Williams are back!
The rebuild is over, no longer in trouble
The 2nd Wild Card? We’re right on the bubble
We’re young and we’re talented and don’t forget Bold,
The phuture is now cuz we’re no longer old
Hungry dogs run faster just ask Jason Kelce
We will be ready once our pitchers get healthy
They laughed at the Eagles, the Sixers & process
Now it’s our turn to show them we’re bosses!
But tonight we’re in first, like the rest of the teams
And all we can do is have positive dreams
Can’t wait til tomorrow; dress warm cuz it’s freezing,
“Good Luck Philadelphia, and to the fans a great season.”