Monday, May 18, 2015

How Sweep It Is!

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood
How Sweep It Is!
 
 
 
IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ‘REMOVE ASCHE & REPLACE WITH FRANCO’
 
Oh snap!  Don’t look now, but someone rang the CB Park’s doorbell and left a Swiffer Sweeper
right next to the Mike Schmidt statue.  My goal here is to pen this piece, email it to the Wriz and get it on da blog spot before this glorious win streak ends!  Our legion of Buntamaniacs didn’t think O’Sullivan could deliver a win, but low & behold you ‘doubting Thomaseses’ he did!  A 5 game win streak including a sweep of the D*Backs!  Granted the two Pirate wins were our faux Aces vs their duds and the D*Backs play like d*bags, but irregardless (not a real word) we got it diz-one!!!  Now off to Colorado where the mountains are high and so are their residents.  Will the streak hit 6?  Will there be another sweep?  Or will Ryan ‘Lloyd’ Braun get higher than Snoop Dog at a Denver Pot CafĂ©?  Time will tell, but with Galvis’ hot bat and Franco ‘Everything But’ American on our side…the sky is the limit.  (Assuming the sky is like my man cave ceiling #6fttall).  But next week, when T*Mac announces the Phillies Star of the Week, he won’t be doing it with tongue planted firmly in cheek.  This week was real, almost parade worthy.  For a team still sitting in last place we need to appreciate the small stuff, so let’s celebrate good times…come on….


 
YOU KNEW THIS PIC WAS COMING.

-Why do they call Francoeur ‘Frenchy?’
-I hope they gave Cody Asche one of those whiffle ball bats before he left.
-They were about to rename this team Amtrak prior to this win-streak.
-The thrill is forever gone.
-Why did I just here about the Schmitter?
-I went to Weather Day just for Sheena Parveen!
-DB29 is 5 pounds away from never having to tuck a shirt in again.
-Chase is still the man!
-How ‘bout my man Howard!!!
-Remember Wriz Wednesdays. #flashbackmonday
-Did Rioter win the Preakness?
-The Marlins will collapse in T-Minus 3, 2, ……
-The ‘Dad-bod’ is now in! Where was this 20 years ago?
-Congrats Pap!
-Don’t throw the ball to someone unless they’re looking.  #LittleLeague101
-The Kardashians have more ‘Daddy issues’ than the Skywalkers.
-My Phillies Mt. Rushmore:  Schmidt, Carlton, Chase, Pete Rose. #comeatmebro
-Remember Netfather Bill.  #throwbackmonday
-Wonder if the Poop Bandit has a Bunts tshirt?
-My son got up at 6:30am on a Saturday to do homework.  Waiting on paternity test.
-Meet & Greet V is one month away….let’s get ‘Bunted!!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

A Different Black and Yellow

THE PIRATES ARE NOT THE PENGUINS OR THE STEELERS

The Phillies and the Pirates meet for four games this week at Citizens Bank Park.  While the best case scenario is the Phillies win the series, it is then O.K. to begin rooting for the fans of Pittsburgh to hope their hometown Pirates regroup and begin their journey to an N.L. Central Championship.

Besides the Pirates basically owning the Phillies over the last several seasons there is no real rivalry here.

Flyers vs. Penguins, now that is a hope for multiple 5 minute majors, a few misconducts and Flyers must win rivalry.  Sidney Crosby is the most irritating Canadian to come to the USA since Caillou.  If you have kids and watch hockey, you can appreciate why they are both awful, lame and should be deported!!

Eagles vs. Steelers, this is an every few season match up where Philly fans hope we win so we don’t have to hear and be jealous about their 6 Super Bowl rings.  Enough! We Know!  We all watch and enjoy Terry Bradshaw, the greatest Steelers quarterback ever, on Sunday mornings and his countless ridiculous commercials.  Have Pittsburgh fans taken notice of the Eagles best quarterback ever also working for Fox?  Never mind.  Let’s hope they haven’t.  Keep reading.

Who else is there to cheer for in the Pirates division?

Does anyone really want to see the St. Louis in the playoffs again?  Ever since that horrible 2011 October night with the Chris Carpenter shut out and the awful Ryan Howard Achilles injury the Cardinals have to be among the most hated teams for Phillies fans.  Let’s not forget J.D. Drew deciding against signing with Philadelphia to go on and become an underwhelming over paid Cardinal. Not enough reason for ya?  ROLEN!! (I was a big Scott Rolen fans so I won’t rip him)

How about the Cubs? The only thing in Philly more irritating than meeting a “life-long Cubbies fan” is a Red Sox or Dodgers fan. Sure, the Cubs are finally building a team that will eventually contend for a series but rooting for a Pennsylvania team is way better than a team from IllAnnoy.

The Reds are fine.  They do a good job of trying to win every year but boring is boring and the Reds are boring.  Griffey left years ago and they’re still in search of a personality. (Homer Bailey is the best name in baseball and one time he did get me a free Dominos pizza with his no-hitter.)


Who is left?  Oh yeah, the Brewers.  Eww.  Ever since Burger Prince Fielder went to the Tigers this team has gone from “I don’t care” to “Nobody outside of Wisconsin cares”  Ryan Braun used to be a great player and an even better role model until he got outed as a cheater and now the Brewers shouldn’t win anything until he retires.  Once again – Eww!!

Let’s be honest – the Phillies are tough to watch. 

There is still a lot of great baseball being played around the league. The Pirates started off a bit slow but are picking things up and have a real chance to be the National League representatives in the 2015 Fall Classic.  Root for them.  If you have the chance watch them.  They are an energetic team that loves playing baseball.  Remember when the Phillies were like that?

The Pirates have great uniforms and the second most awesome stadium in the league. AAARGH!!!

Chances are this won’t be a Red October so why not cheer for Black October?

On a related note – Phillies fans have not jumped off the bandwagon.  While the fan turnout at Citizens Bank Park is not overwhelming, each night it looks similar to many other teams around the league.  The White Sox, who are hoping to win the A.L. Central, played to an almost empty stadium on Saturday afternoon.

The Phillies rank 19th in the league for fans in the stands. Washington and New York average about 4,000 more a game and the Braves about 4,000 less and the Marlins 6,000.

Every fan that has attended a game this season knows the organization goes out of their way to make it a great time and even with a last place team it is a fun night at the park. 

If you haven’t been to a game this season, get some tickets.  Even if it is just for the Phillies Bunts Meet and Greet on June 28th. If you want I will sign your ticket and you can show it to your friends and they can make fun of you!

I will watch the Phillies (and Pirates) so you don’t have to!!Erik Whitacre



@erikwhitacre

Friday, May 8, 2015

Best Ticket in Town

FRIDAY NIGHT BASEBALL IN PHILLY

If you’re only planning to watch one Phillies game this season make it Friday Night.

Phillies. Mets. Citizens Bank Park.

 Cole Hamels. Matt Harvey.

Forecast is for a perfect night.

 
The best pitcher in Phillies recent history versus the best pitcher in all of New York.  This has the makings of a one hour fifty five minute duel for the ages.

Sure, Hamels has had his ups and downs so far this season but against the rival Mets he is sure to bring his A Game. The biggest problem Cole has had this year is losing focus and making the mistake pitch. For those of you who have been watching, his mistakes have been big ones.  When he’s not making mistakes, he looks like a legitimate ace.  For most teams in the league, he is better than their current opening day starter.  His name is mentioned daily on MLB Network Radio as the top available pitcher who will be traded this season.  This week they’re thinking Red Sox or Blue Jays but knowing he can and most likely would decline a trade to Toronto, they are predicting Boston as his landing spot.

Matt Harvey, coming off Tommy John surgery, is 5-0 and has to be considered one of the best pitchers in the game so far this young season. Last week he outdueled the 200 million dollar man from the Nationals. He is legit and a lot of fun to watch. A New York without Derek Jeter is looking for a fan favorite and I predict Harvey will be the newly crowned King of New York Baseball by seasons end.

The best chance either team has to win this game is to take advantage of a mistake and hit the long ball.

Hopefully, the Phillies will realize this and start all their power hitters.  Sure, there haven’t been many long balls this year but Howard is starting to heat up while Ruf and Francouer have the ability to pop one at any time. Utley will be back from his benching and you can rest assured he will get at least one hit. This is a guarantee.

It is going to be a long summer for Philadelphia baseball fans. The opportunity for a great game won’t come around that often which is why this Friday night should be Baseball Night in Philly!!

Let’s Root Root Root for the Phillies!!

On a side note – even though we hate the Mets and hope everything they do turns out poorly they should be commended for their salute to the fallen NYPD officer on Tuesday Night.  Brian Moore, a lifelong Orioles fan (so much cooler than being a lifelong Mets fan) had tickets for the Tuesday game. His family attended for him.  The Mets flew all flags in the stadium and half-mast, wore NYPD hats during batting practice and a moment of silence for Officer Moore took place before the game. Some things are bigger than baseball and good for the Mets for being a class act and honoring a fallen hero.

I will watch the Phillies so you don’t have to!! Even though you should watch the Phillies even if it’s just this one time.

Erik Whitacre   

@erikwhitacre

Sunday, May 3, 2015

AT LEAST THE WEATHER IS NICE

AT LEAST THE WEATHER IS NICE

Bill S watches this Weather girl everyday. He know ZERO Spanish

It’s good to start with something positive.

Saturday afternoon the Phillies lost another one.  For those counting at home, this is the 8th road series they have lost and brings them to a 5 game skid mark.  So far, this season has been full of embarrassing streaks.

I was lucky enough to not watch the game on TV.  Instead of sitting inside on a beautiful Saturday, I took the kids into the back yard and listened to the radio broadcast.  It is really nice to sit outside, have a beer and watch the kids play all while listening to a ball game. 

Baseball is the only sport that is just as good to listen to as it is to watch.  If you haven’t, or it has been a while, give it a try sometime.   The Phillies radio broadcast is a fun listen – even for a team that can’t find many wins.

Larry Anderson calls the Phillies hitters 1 dimensional.  Opposing defenses set their players up in perfect position for each hitter because they know where the ball is gonna be hit.

Ryan Howard could be batting .400 if he would only smack a ball down the 3rd base line every now and again. Friday night the Marlins had 4 infielders on the same side.

Chase Utley is hitting the ball hard and has nothing to show for it.  He hits the ball hard to the same places all the time. 

Darrin Ruf still gets to sit on the bench and have an at bat here and there.  It’s a shame he’s not allowed to play every day.

What does Grady Sizemore’s bat bring to this team or lineup?  Why is he even here?  

Cole Hamels didn’t do much to help himself get out of Philadelphia.  A strong outing versus the Marlins would have had Rubens phone ringing off the hook.  Instead, once again, he made the big mistake pitch prolonging his quest to break free to the land of a contending team. 

A strong outing by Cole could have led to a big offer. 

The Red Sox lost their everyday catcher on Friday night.  Their everyday catcher who is not really an everyday catcher.  A team looking to win a World Series needs an ace on the mound and a solid catcher behind the plate.

The Red Sox have a lot to offer.  Hamels and Ruiz could bring a nice return.

At this point, Ruben would be smart to make a Hamels deal happen now just in case his May, June and July aren’t as strong as the Phillies hope.

What if his trade value goes down?  Rubens has said all along he needs a big win from the Hamels trade. What if by holding on to him too long leads to a big loss?

I like Ruben as a guy but as a GM I am not sure he has the vision to know when to make the deal and who to take in return.

The biggest thing we’ve learned this week is that while the Phillies haven’t been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention theoretically they have been.

The best part about baseball is another day another game.  Even though this Phillies team is tough to watch I still find myself tuning in.

I will watch the Phillies so you don’t have to!

Erik Whitacre

@erikwhitacre

Friday, May 1, 2015

Growing Pains

Hoodwink’d       by cj hood
Growing Pains
 
 
SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN PHILLIES FANS!
 
The following is a true story.  The other day at dinner my 10 year old son (in the most solemn way) tells me that he wants to ‘make a major change in his life.’  He goes on to tell me that starting next season he’s going to start routing for the Yankees.  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because he’s at that age now where he’s starting to come into his own.  As a Dad I was ready for the growth spurt, the deeper voice and the hair in naughty places, but ceasing to be a ‘Buntamaniac?  Maybe it’s because he was drafted by the Yankees for his first year in Majors or maybe it’s because Utley’s batting under .200.  Irregardless (not a real word), the empty stadium, the losing record, the who’s who of players doesn’t really give you an appreciation for how far this team has fallen.  It’s not until a ten year old boy (who’s still on the fence about Santa Claus) decides to support another MLB team that you realize how far 2008 is in the rear view mirror.  On that note, let’s focus on the few positives…
 
-Dropping Howard in the lineup took the pressure off and it shows.
-Revere’s bat is coming around.
-Joanna Kerns was a MILF.
-Galvis is producing as much as Rollins is in LA.
-I can’t believe Chelsea Noble buys into all of Kirk Cameron’s shenanigans. 
-Harangatuan is still holding his own.
-Leo DiCaprio sunk Growing Pains quicker than the Titanic.
-I’m finally starting to like Pap….he will be missed.
-Buchanan has nice hair.
-If you’re adding a kid to sitcom and it’s not Cousin Oliver then don’t even bother.
-Herrera was a great pick up.
-Asche’s healthy.
-RIP Boner
-I wouldn’t mind seeing Ryno blow a gasket or two.
-I hear Francoeur is very polite.
-DB29 has ‘Thicke of the Night’ Season 1 on Beta.
-Severino Gonzalez and Chooch seem to be the best of friends.
-D*Boogie getting demoted to Lehigh Valley and pulling a no-show was G to the OLD.
-Ben ‘the good time guy’ was my favorite GP episode of all time!
-Meet & Greet V is next month….let’s get ‘bunted!

 

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Puzzling Dilemma

So Saturday night is Autism Awareness night at Citizens Bank Park. We were thinking about taking our daughter and discussed it for a few weeks.

As a lifelong Phillies fan it has always been my dream to take my daughter to her first Phillies game.  Maybe she could see the Phanatic and go home and sleep with her Phanatic doll instead of the stinky dog she has slept with for the last few years.  We could get her a hot dog (which she wouldn’t eat) and a cotton candy.

Emma knows the Phillies.  She knows it is on our TV every night during the season.  She would probably recognize the field from all the times Caillou has been vetoed and we have turned on baseball.

Ultimately, we decided not to go. We were fearful the large crowd and cheers when the Phillies did well might lead her to meltdown.

Maybe we were wrong.

 The stadium is less than half full.  The Phillies offense has brought little to no cheers.  Perhaps this Autism Awareness Night would have been the perfect night to take her to her first game.

It is kind of sad.  Having attended many Phillies games in my life I am certain they will go out of their way to make it a fun night for all fans who attend the game and take extra care to assure those there for Autism Awareness Night have everything they need.

I doubt we will but maybe it is time to consider getting walk up tickets for the game.

What’s the worst that could happen?  She may go home wondering why fans in the stands started chanting E.A.G.L.E.S. EAGLES!!!

On a related note I can’t stop thinking about how my son wore a hand me down Victorino shirt on opening day.  My favorite Phillies player is Cole Hamels.  How much longer will he be here?  If I bought my boy one of his jerseys will he still be here when the shirt no longer fits?  What player on this team is worthy of the $20 bill for their name on the back?

On an unrelated note – why can’t they play Ruf every day for a month? Let’s see what he can do with a regular start.  Switch his position but daily at bats may show us what he can do. 

On a similar unrelated note – why is Franco still in the minor leagues?  Is anyone on the big club doing better than the players on the smaller club?

On a horrible note – The Mets are in first and the Phillies are in worst.  That’s sad.

As I finish typing this the Phillies beat the Braves 1-0.  SWEET!!!

Erik Whitacre 

 I will watch the Phillies so you don’t have to.

@erikWhitacre on Twitter.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The House of Pain


 
It’s funny for all the crying CJ Hood has been doing that the Wriz hasn’t blogged this year, its not like anyone listens anyways.

The Wriz said RAJ didn’t deserve an extension after the 09 season.
The Wriz said trade Chooch when he was hitting .350
The Wriz said don’t resign JRoll.
The Wriz said trade Hamels & then try to resign him.
The Wriz said trade Utley & Dom Brown when they were tearing the cover off the ball.

It’s not just the Phils that don’t listen. It’s you clowns too.

The Wriz said Papelbon is a competitor and possibly the best on the team. But you still bash him.
(Well, at least Erik was listening.)

And now you want more knowledge from the Wriz? Well the Wriz never disappoints so fuck it. Here’s what to expect in 2015: Pain! That’s right CBP might as well be called the House of Pain for 2015 and its not the good Jump Around one either.

Its not going to be an easy year to be a Phillies fan. The only thing that will make this year watchable should be Hamels but it’s quite possible he’s gone before the trade deadline. After that, it’s hoping to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe a prospect that shows he’s quite capable of being a Major League player or to cut ties with the bags of shit like RAJ or Howard. (That’s for you Captain Poopypants, who happens to be our most consistent commenter so if the rest of you want more blogs better start leaving feedback)

As for the rest of the infield, Utley’s best days are behind him. For the past 2 years, I’ve been saying he needs more days off. Word is this will be the year it happens. Outside of last night, it might be too late. Asche and Galvis are off to hot starts but I see Asche as a quality bench player or platoon player at best at the ML level. Galvis has a gold glove but a tin foil bat. Neither can sustain what their doing now.

In the outfield, Imma give Herrera the benefit of the doubt as he’s learning a new position I think he will get his bat going before long. Revere’s been doing his best Jesse Barfield impression and gunned down another runner. The Phillies have been dangling him as trade bait but I’m ok with him in LF until he proves otherwise. I know he’s got no power but he can hit .300 Right field is where it gets interesting. You’ve got Jeff Francoeur, Grady Sizemore and Dom Brown vying for 1 spot. The way I see it you HAVE to play Dom. I don’t like it, but it’s the teams only play to get value (whether on the field or through a trade) on a guy who was once one of the best prospects in all of the MLB.

Pitching wise. Hamels will the announcers talking about the “walk up ticket sales” again well until he’s traded. I’m not as down on Harang as most he’s not great but he’s an innings eater. Hell, it looks like he’ll eat most anything. Same as Burnett tho I don’t understand putting the money out there for him. The difference in wins between having Harang and Sean O’Sullivan in your rotation is probably no more than five. Chad Billingsly is a low risk/high reward guy, but he’s coming off offseason surgery and that worked out so well with Mike Adams. The pen is the brightest spot on the team and if they continue to improve can be one of the best in all of baseball.

“Tanking” had become one of the most overly used and misused words by sports fans but yeah its going look like that. The Wriz says 98 losses and add 5 more if Hamels is dealt.

See ya at the House of Pain!

Jay Wrizight
jaywrizight@yahoo.com