Showing posts with label Bio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bio. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Let’s get Personal!


Male, 37, college graduate with wonderful sense of humor seeks males and females who enjoy talking, dreaming and LIVING Phillies baseball. I am looking for a strictly platonic relationship as my last Phillies relationship ended badly.

First off, let me say I usually don’t do these things. My friends put me up to it. I can find companions without resorting to the internet, but the bar scene is oh so tired. So, I will give it my best shot. (No pun intended)

Likes:
  • A well timed double steal
  • Knee buckling 3-2 curveballs
  • 6-4-3 Double plays
  • 5 tool players

Dislikes:
  • Runners who don’t take the extra base on a play at the plate
  • Multiple mound visits during the same batter
  • Missing the cut-off man
  • Batters that don't move the runner by hitting to the opposite field


I am a true student of the game. It’s not necessary to be up to my level as I can teach you. And I’m hoping I can learn a few new things from you also. I recently started my own blog and I’ll expect your encouragement and input as well. If things progress I hope one day we can share the intimacy of the best thing ever, a perfectly executed suicide squeeze.

I hope to see you around the ballpark and the blog this year.

Jay Wrizight, but you can call me “The Wriz”

jaywrizight@yahoo.com

Monday, March 21, 2011

“Crying? There’s no crying in BASEBALL!!!”

I was turning 14 the summer “A League of Their Own” was released; I had just graduated 8th grade (Labrum Middle School, Northeast Philly HOLLA!) and was anxious to start my freshman year roaming the pink marble hallways of Philly’s Girls High School that upcoming September. The summer would be long, it would be extremely hot, and there wasn’t much to NOT cry about when watching baseball in Philadelphia that year.

Whoever wrote that famous line for Tom Hanks’ character Jimmy Dugan was clearly NOT a Phillies fan back in those days; There were far too many seasons endured in the late 80’s and 90’s where many a “Sillies” fan did nothing BUT cry. We were, after all, the first professional sports team to reach the 10,000 loss milestone. And in true Philly fashion, we celebrated it. What else did we have to do?

Growing up, I spent many a summer eve within the concrete jungle of Vet Stadium. I suffered some of the worst sunburns upon my fair Irish skin NOT while at the Jersey shore - Nope, I would come home red as a fresh cooked lobster from sitting wayyyyy up in the infamous 700 level with my dad, usually. It was funny, the games back in the 80’s and 90’s I went to were NEVER sold out (maybe they would get close on the coveted family games during the 4th of July holiday), yet we always wound up sitting around the same section in the nosebleeds as my dad did with my Pop in prior years.

Nothing would ever come close to satisfying all of my senses as nights with my family at the ballpark did. Pop would smoke his cigars and quietly watch with such deep intensity. My dad would holler and curse at the umps call after call (more intensely as the beers would go down faster and faster). Back then I ate hot dogs (the real ones! Not the veggie ones I eat today), and a dog at the game would taste as good as any meal my Italian grandmother could make from scratch. The Phanatic would dart out from some cave in the outfield on his little scooter and do the most hilarious things to visiting players, and I would stare at this green furry monster from the Galapagos Islands (who knew?!) with such excitement!  

Today, my heart still skips when the Phanatic comes out - I am SO part of his posse (quite possibly one of the coolest shirts EVER). I don’t get to go to games with my dad too often, as he now lives in the sunny, beautiful city of Tampa, FL. How sweet it is to have my dad now living a mere 25 minutes from Clearwater’s Bright House field J It’s funny how things work out.

My Pop passed in March of 2009. He was suffering from an incredibly long bout with Alzheimer’s, but you could say the word ‘Phillies’ or ‘Connie Mack’ and his eyes would STILL light up. When that final out was thrown in the fall of ‘08, and ‘Lights Out’ Lidge fell to his knees as Chooch rushed the mound, I called my dad and literally CRIED.
Hearing Harry Kalas calling the Philadelphia Phillies the “World Champions of Baseball” overwhelmed my heart with tremendous joy, and I couldn’t help but to cry because my Pop had lived to see another world series win. It was the first time I experienced World Championship (at 2 years old, I was too young to remember the Phils’ win in 1980) and nothing made me happier than knowing that my grandfather, my father and I were finally able to experience it together, though I was over 900 miles north (and they were living in the city whose teams’ ass we just kicked. How poetic!)

Baseball is ingrained in me - It’s what I do from early March through the fall. I have started to travel to other ballparks to catch a game, only to come back to Philly more appreciative of Citizens Bank Park and fans that not only love their team but actually KNOW the game. We get a lot of shit, us rabid fans of Philadelphia. But no matter how good – or how bad – our teams are, we are always supportive and we are always making our presence known.

I look forward to giving you my insight into all things Phillies over the course of the season. I will admit – I have a slight obsession with Mr. Chase Utley… in fact, my 4 ½ year old cat is named… Chase Utley!!  I will keep my bias to myself about that oh so handsome beast as best as I can… oh and I will do what I can to not dominate conversation about our gorgeous 2B either. HAHA! I look at it this way: I am a die hard, life long fan, I know the in and out’s of the game as well as how to spell my very own name and I’m a girl who is quite appreciative of what I think is the hottest team in baseball (talent AND looks wise). Don’t judge!


I welcome all comments, suggestions, questions you guys may have! I have a pretty silly sense of humor, and I think it will come across in my writings. I am a Philly girl through and through after all!

I look forward to tears of joy falling once again… In November, on
Broad Street
!

-xo,
DiamondGirl215


Welcome to Kornhole’s Alley.

We here at Kornhole’s Alley will focus not just on your Phightin Phils, but we’ll also focus on the enemy.

Who is this enemy I speak of? There are many! We have the media who are all so hard up to break a story first, that they’ll report un-truths. We have the dumb Mets fans that come down on buses thinking it is 1986 still.

I’m sure everyone reading this remembers that 1986 Mets team well. If you don’t, I know some people who do. The crack dealers of New York City! If it weren’t for them then Dr. K(rack) and right fielder Daryl Dinglberry would have been in a Heep (not Danny) of trouble that season.

You know what really amazed me about those two? Each day they would sell their bodies to some random drug lords, still make it to the game, and play as well as they did. Imagine if they weren’t high, and taking it in the ass all night. The 1987 team may have been just as Amazin’.

I remember my sadness when our ‘86 Phils were finally knocked out of contention with 22 games to go. Those stinking Mets and their fans thought their asses didn’t stink but we all know Dr. Krack and Dinglberry’s stunk like semen.

Moving on! This blog is about keeping people honest. I will track the media throughout the country. I will “converse” with the opposing teams’ fans. I may even “converse” with the opponents themselves.

I’ve been to many stadiums around the country and this year will be no different! I will travel and I will report. The only place I won’t go to is Washington. They scare me down there!


Speaking of Washington! What the hell were they thinking!? Why would you pay anyone that kind of money? His entire career he had protection in front of him and you’re gonna throw all that money at him? No wonder this team is a cellar dweller year after year!

Who in their right mind would pay Jesus Flores that kind of money to play behind I-Rod? If you’re going to take Jesus, take the one who can walk on water. You gotta go with Christ. Jeez!

 

The experts say our closest rival is the Braves. You know the same team that shows their racist ways by dressing up like Native Americans and tomahawk chopping to death. The same franchise which supports a wife beater as its manager.

I live by certain rules in life and if you’re going to have a wife beater in uniform he needs to be a jerk off pitcher not a manager. Just a rule I live by!
The so-called up and coming team is the Marlins. Going to a Marlins game is like playing “Where’s Waldo” with the fans. They announce an attendance of 4,000, but I think the real attendance is somewhere around 23. I think more people would go to a Sixers-Wizards game at the Wells Fargo Center in 24 inches of snow, on a cold night in December, than to a Marlins-Rays game combined.

Their ownership led by Jeffrie Lurie(a) conned the local government and the South Beach citizens (Sorry Lebron, hate to see a few extra bucks come out of your check) into building a stadium that nobody will go to.

Each week I will look at the Phils upcoming schedule and learn the truth about the teams we face, their city, their media, and whatever else I can dig up. I will report only the facts as I see them.

Now for a trip into the archives! Each week I will go into the time machine and bring back a Phillie who I feel could help this franchise today.

 
I will break down what he/she can do to help hit better, pitch better, and whatever else it may take to get us off a losing snide.

It could be a player, owner, mascot, manager, negro league player, fan, or Al Meltzer. Who knows what we may need, but I promise I will find that right guy.


This week I think the Phillies organization, fans, media everyone knows that this team can be lacking some fire power. Losing Jason Werth and Chase Utley takes close to 60 Homers out of your lineup.

    I personally think that Ben Francisco can play everyday. I also think that Wilson Valdez can fill in for Utley, even if it’s only a few months. But we still have to worry about the power numbers.

Ryan Howard needs protection in front and behind him. Pitchers already throw slop at him… wait till you see what they throw now. So, I have found the right guy the team should call to fill in as a power bat.

This man has crushed the ball. He has power. He’s done things that most players can only dream about. I talk about the one and the only Robert Person.

Below is an excerpt from the always truthful Wikipedia page of the amazing power hitter Robert Person.

Person's most memorable feat came with the Philadelphia Phillies on June 2 2002. He not only threw five strong innings in which he allowed three hits and one unearned run while striking out five, but he also hit two home runs against the Montreal Expos. The first home run was a grand slam to left field off Masato Yoshii with two outs in the first inning; the second was a three-run home run to left field off Bruce Chen with one out in the fifth inning. In between those home runs, he came up again with the bases loaded and drove a ball far enough for a second slam, but it was foul and he ended up striking out.

If Ruben would take a second from bringing in Aces all the time, he would realize a pitcher like Robert Person is what’s needed not just every fifth day as a 5-inning Cy Young Candidate, but the other four days also to keep pitchers honest against our 25 Million Dollar Singles Hitter.

Wondering what Robert’s been up to? He’s been keeping busy.

Thanks for stopping by Kornhole’s alley. Feel free to email me at kornhole@philliesbunt.com or follow me on twitter at Kornhole Alley.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Second Best Off-season Signing...DB29!*

After a successful blogging career elsewhere here I am. I am proud to say I learned from the best, Jay Wrizight, and I was honored when he asked me to join this blog. The Wriz and I go way back, we have discussed almost every Phillies topic over many beers in the Halladay Inn parking lot. It's nice to have a place to relay my thoughts on the Fightin' Phils. I can say I am the worlds biggest Phils Fan, I have 2 sons, one named Ryan and one named Cole. It's just dumb luck. They were around before The Big Piece and Hollywood but still cool none the less. I have another future Phils fan on the way. My wife rejected the name Charlie Manuel Bryson. You can't win them all. I tried to tell her Charlie would work for both a boy and a girl. It went over like the Mets hopes this season, NO CHANCE!

I was around for the first golden age of the Phillies. I grew up as Schmidt, Carlton, Bowa, and Boone were in their primes. I remember when Bill Giles called the Phillies a 'Small market team'. And lived through the years he tried to prove it. Joe 'Can't get 2 outs in a' Roa closed out the Vet if you need proof. A greater travesty I can't recall. I am enjoying the ride of the Phils being the best team in baseball. That's the best advice I can give new Phillies fans, enjoy the ride. It's usually not this smooth or successful.

I'm just glad there are like minded Phillies nut jobs out there. My wife says "Phillies underwear is over the top". Thoughts?

Keep It Classy Philly!

DB29

Friday, March 18, 2011

Hoodwink'd by cj hood

diary of a madman
cj hood  bka h*double aka Bob Frapples
male
37 ¾ years old
married 
3 kids
resident of PA
education: Master’s Degree
huge fan of the Beastie Boys
1 of my 3 tattoos is of Andre the Giant (8th Wonder of the World)
Phillies fan since the Carter Administration
favorite Phil:  Mike Schmidt 
1st Phils game:  June ‘87 (bought a bootleg Run DMC & Beastie Boys tshirt of the striz-eets of South Philly)
used to watch Phils games on Ch. 29 WTAF
member of the ‘85 (borough) Little League Championship Team
rode a fluorescent green Haro FST back in ‘87
went to college with Jay Wrizight
Charlie's Market shopper of the month (Oct. '94)
was offered a shady record deal by Rodell Records in ‘96 for my hip-hop track “Stylin & Profilin”
favorite movie:  Saturday Night Fever
writing skills equivalent to Bo Diaz' satellite hanging skills.....too soon?
was supposed to be a guest on the Tonight Show ‘til Leno’s ‘yes-men’ snubbed me at the last minute
I once autographed a guitar with the Foo Fighters by convincing the guy I was a member of the band…the guitar was later sold on Ebay!
I’m herpetologist that owns several snakes, lizards, torts and the like. 
got thrown out of backstage party at a Beastie Boys concert cuz I asked the King Adrock for a picture!
I have a semi lucrative career as a part-time standup comic
author of Hoodwink’d at the Phillies Blunt blogspot

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Introducing Me….



I can throw a fastball better than most boys. I know how to have fun and splash in puddles instead of whining because it rained at the ballpark. I have hit a ball over the fence.  My favorite color is red, yet I hate apples. I once took down an army of ants with my bare hands. I love to eat cheese, but only on pizza…..

As an avid athlete, lover of Phillies baseball and the married mother of 5 athletic children….I am pleased to introduce myself to the world!

My name is Kim. I am 34. I am what some would consider ‘low maintenance,’ meaning…I am jeans and a t-shirt….ponytail and ball cap….Jeep Wrangler instead of BMW….jean skirt and a jersey….red and black Nike flip-flops over stiletto heels….game tickets versus diamond jewelry….Clearwater in March wins over Cabo in May….and my ‘If I Ever: Top 5 List’ consists of 5 Phillies players. A true guy’s gal.  My husband thinks diamonds would be cheaper, jock wives are pricey!

My claim to Phillies fame happened in Flushings, NY.  Yes, in front of Met’s fans! Due to said actions, I am not allowed in CBP without adult supervision. With good reason; after all, I did strip off my shirt for Cole Hamels…CitiField 2009…in front of my speechless husband. (I was wearing an underarmor sports bra….relax!)  I did get Cole’s undivided attention and several autographs J This was the one and only time I used my female ways to get what I want. 

I am looking forward to predicting, analyzing & reviewing the Phils and explaining why the Mets & Pirates suck and should no longer qualify as MLB teams with everyone!!!

GO PHILLIES!
~KimberLee