Friday, September 13, 2013

da Bunters

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood
da Bunters

Now that the season is basically over I figured I’d spend my last blog of the season focusing on the positives of the year.  Sports, tv, movies, hell even porn, has their own annual awards gala…so why can’t we?  So today, on the thirteenth day of September, two thousand and thirteen in the year of our Lord I present to you the 1st Annual Phillies Bunts Awards bka da Bunters.


Rookie of the Year Award:
Darin Ruf.  Ashe may be hot as of late, but I think Ruf was more solid overall.  He’s got the swing and the power to become a heavy hitter in the league.  I’d love to see Howard get his walking papers and Ruf get the 1B job.

Humanitarian Award:
The Wriz for using his entanglement of a beard to house lost & abandoned kittens. Well deserved.

Don’t Call It A Comeback Award bka Pill Poppin Player of the Year Award:
Tie: Chooch & Galvis. I never understand your post game interviews (and either does Murph), but I do understand solid at-bats.  Unless we could get a key piece in return, I think we should re-sign Chooch.  I think Galvis should start next year, maybe at 3rd, if we trade Asche for lets say Giancarlo ‘don’t call me Mike’ Stanton.

Kornhole Blogger of the Year Award:
DB29.  He still sports our swag but pens in invisible ink
(Honorable mention: Diamond Girl)

Michael ‘King of Pop’ Jackson Bunter Vanguard Award:
Jimmy Rollins.  Stop swinging at the first pitch bro.  At lease Sandberg had the bells to sit your ass down.


F’ed in the A’ Award:
Sir Charles Manuel.  Your time may have been up, but the organization still didn’t have to treat you like a Canadian coin in a Pepsi machine.

Napoleon Complex Award:
Ruben Amaro Jr.  You straight up clowned this team and as a result on slow decline since ’09.  You doled out cash like it was Monopoly money and we got fat cats like Howard riding the pine.  Manuel is gone and you’re next if you don’t get some bats up in here and mend the bullpen. So do it!!!

Globetrotter Award:
Netfather Bill.  He missed his flight last year (but at least tried), so he tried again this year with much success and attended M&GIII.  Although he was out of uniform he did attend and traveled across the country to be there.

Turn Around Bright Eyes Award:
Ryno Sandberg.  Manuel got pushed out faster than an Octomom baby, but irregardless (not a real word) the Phils have somewhat turned it around in their last 60 games.  Whether this was just one of those baseball trends or not we’ll never know, but my vote is to retain him for 2014.
Side note:  I hope the organization holds a Charlie Manuel Day so we can properly say goodbye.

Bench Player of the Year Award:
Kevin Frandsen.  My man hits walk-offs, can play any position and has a dirtier helmet than Peter North.  I hope he sticks around for a while.



Mad Bro? Award:
Big Pun C. Dude, we appreciate your input…we really do, but why you so mad?  Every time there’s a light hearted LOL post on FB you gotta get all ‘Moody Judy’ on us.  Lighten’ up mang…Howard will be back next year.

Buntamaniac of the Year Award:
Despite the shitty season, our fine little organization blew up in 2013.  And as we welcome all to our family there are a few Buntamaniacs who are always supporting our cause.  So this accolade goes out to a few peeps: Robin, Timmy ‘the leg’, Lori, Sue, Missy, Robert, Joe, Mary and Al.  Thanks for making this season somewhat tolerable. 

Phillie of the Year:
D*Brown was a baller for the first half and earned his first all-star game, but it’s not him.  Lee was also an all-star but he didn’t cop bling either.  Cole? You would think, but nope.  Then who could it be you ask???
Ben Revere:  He’s a positive influence on and off the field and was a solid bat up until he got injured in a game that shouldn’t have gone as far as it did.  He’s back now in Clearwater and I think he’ll be a stud for us for years to come.

And there it is kids, if you’re not happy with the results than comment below or on Spacebook.  And if you didn’t get an award, like Pee Wee Herman would say, ‘I meant to do that.’  Have a good off season kids: Say your prayers & eat your vitamins.  Hopefully my last blog next year will be in late October after a Phillies WS win! Catch me Fri; Oct 4th headlining the END OF SUMMER COMEDY TRAIN REK show at Daly’s Irish Pub in Northeast Philly @ 8pm…let’s get ‘bunted!

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