Hoodwink’d by cj hood
PHILLIES BUNTS BOARD OF TRUSTEES
Once again another Meet & Greet hosted by Phillies Bunts Inc. has come and gone. And as promised it was bigger & better than ever. It was nice to see some old faces as well as meet new acquaintances. Meeting Netfather Bill was cool and seeing the extra Bunts shirts Wriz brought ‘fly off the shelves’ was overwhelming (we are printing more peeps)! Of course, many road sodas were consumed which is always good and the Phils did come thru with the ‘W.’
However, this blessed event wasn’t all ‘hugs & kisses’ bro. I should have known something was amiss when the first thing Wriz said to me was ‘hey did you lose weight.’ Then he proceeded to tell me in his best Chris Tucker voice ‘I’m gonna get you high today.’ I got 3 kids bro…I don’t put that stuff in my temple of a body. Little did I know that he wasn’t trying to get me stoned, but elevate me into the Thermosphere (Google it!). Watching a game at 50,000 feet is no easy task ie nosebleeds, ducking for air planes and getting kites stuck in your cheesesteaks are only some of the issues me and my NEPA Posse had to endure. Now, when I was a young lad, my mom used to tell me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say then blog about it. So, since I am a ‘momma’s boy’ I’m going to do just that:
10 Worst things about Meet & Greet III
10. My boy Nick rolling in with a cooler full of adult beverages and no opener. Good thing Timmy ‘I’m gonna pop some caps’ G. came thru.
9. My boy Aaron insisting we didn’t need a GPS on our way down and getting lost 3 times. Mapquest is the MySpace of navigation kid.
8. Not enough ‘Bunts shirts to go around. More people need to get ‘Bunted on a regular.
7. The makeshift DJ giving us a choice between Billy Joel or Jimmy Buffet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m Billy Joel down…he’s an honorary Beastie Boy for God’s sake. But it’s tough getting your ‘game face’ on to Uptown Girl. How ‘bout some Wu Tang son?
6. The female photog who took pix of me either with my head cut off or stuffing my face with a fat Pat’s. Nobody wants to see that!
5. Sexpanther’s Wilt’s ‘Something or other Lehigh’ Beer. It tasted like pickle juice bro. High School kids wouldn’t drink that swill.
4. I offered everyone in ear shot some of my suds, but no one returned the favor with a burger or even a hoddog. If my weight falls under 250 ish could get hectic real quick. Good thing I was packin some beef jerky.
3. Wriz’ beard. Have you seen this thing? Squirrels wouldn’t nest in that entanglement.
2. Sitting 4 rows from the top of CB Park while Wriz (and a gang of pigeons eating popcorn out of his beard sat at sea level). I’m a former BOTY…how quickly we forget!
THE WRIZ WITHOUT HIS BEARD!
1. DB29 prancing around in his ‘Bunts shirt when he hasn’t written a blog in over a year. The only thing worse than that was another absence by DiamondGirl. Netfather Bill could fly half way across the country, but she can’t drive across state? Really?
At least there wasn’t any oily sausage this year…let’s get ‘bunted!