Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Untouchables

It’s often said that a teams most prized players are “untouchable” or that there is nothing you could get in return that would make it worth or while to trade them. As it becomes more and more likely that the Phillies run as a contender is over. Let’s take a look at the Phillies options on who can fetch some players who can help the club down the line.

Who’s untouchable? Well frankly, nobody. To say the Wriz don’t believe any player is untouchable is a slight exaggeration but only slight. If you can trade a player and get back more than you’re giving up they aren’t untouchable. In fact, there are only a few players in all major sports I’d consider untouchable. Lebron James is. Crosby or Malkin maybe, buy their propensity to get hurt makes it just a maybe.

Back to our boys. Right now, the closest we have to an untouchable player would be Cliff Lee, Dom Brown and Cole Hamels. Hamels is 2-11 and has a 4.58 ERA and makes a boat load of cash. He can go, but you want to buy low and sell high. I’m sure some GM’s can overlook his performance thus far as an enigma but enough to get what he’s worth I doubt it. Cliff Lee is having a very good year. He too makes a shit load, but a team in need of pitching help could give you some nice prospects. Dom Brown on the other hand makes peanuts and isn’t even eligible for arbitration until 2015, but opposed to Cole is he at his highest value now?

If the Wriz was in control, he’d be fielding calls for anyone in a Phillies uniform. The Phanatic, the ball girls EVERYONE! Fuck, I’d even trade pistachio girl if I thought it get me a player with some heart. Lord knows this team needs some. But just because I’m discussing it doesn’t mean I’m giving away the team either.  The way I look at it, Hamels, Lee and Brown can be dealt but only if I KNOW I’m getting the best of it. And that means Major League ready top prospects.

If you can find some to take JRoll, do it. I’d say the same for Howard but realistically you’d have to eat so much of that salary you’d end up looking like Jared before Subway happened. Even Paps will get you a nice return. A 14 million dollar closer is a luxury this team doesn’t need right now. Everyone else? I’m taking whatever I can get. Both Youngs, Chooch, KK and sad to say even Chase have to go to acquire the building blocks of the next incarnation of a contending team. I love Chase but unless he gives a major hometown discount and signs before the trade deadline, he’s gotta go. Reports say the Dodgers would sign him for 3 years 45 million. There is NO FUCKING WAY I’d be on board with that deal.

Back to Southern California?
Remember when everyone was all like “In Reuben we trust?” We’ll the Wriz didn’t and still don’t. I’m saying my prayers every night that he can prove me wrong otherwise this dreadful season is just the tip.

See ya at the ballpark!

Jay Wrizight

PS Just the tip of the Iceberg, you sick fuck!


  1. Sadly my next piece was going to almost mirror this. Doesn't leave much to write about. :(

  2. This article was so riveting, I missed going to the toilet and shit my pants!