Scapegoat

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Yard Sale Days Revisited

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood

Yard Sale Days Revisited

 

 

 

Coming out of the All Star break I commented on Broad Street Misery’s FB page that in order to be legit buyers we need to sweep the Mets and win either the Cards or Tigers’ series.  That did not happen…not even close. What’s worse is the Gnats & Braves aren’t setting the world on fire by any means.  The NL East is weaker than Ryan Braun’s interest in the truth. If we did what we were supposed to do we’d only be a few games out of first right now.  So now what?

 

Every time the Hood Ranch has a yard sale my boys rummage thru the goods, stumble upon their stuff and say “Are you selling this?”  That’s how I feel about the Phillies right now.  Yes we should sell, but the bigger question is ‘what do we sell?’  Another yard sale staple is when these hustlers show up and try to clock a name brand item for fitty-cent.  Which leads me to the next questions my fellow Buntamaniacs: If we do sell how much should we expect back?

 

I posted on the ‘Bunts FB page today that we should re-sign Utley…he’s our best hitter.  Seconds later our favorite heckler, Big Pun, referred to me as a ra-tard.  Thank God someone with a little more panache added that we shouldn’t sign him for more than 2 years.  That’s what I meant yo!  Of course we’re not going to blindly sign LL Cool Chase to a 5 yr/$25mill deal.  If he wants to be a Phil for life then he needs to play ball and so do we.

 

Once again, we are playing as a M*A*S*H unit. Ben Revere’s accident never should have happened, D*Brown who was weak in the 4-hole (told you…lolz) is out til Friday, Howard (who cares) and Doc are all illin.  Moreover, their replacements need to catch the next bus to Lehigh: Mayberry, Ruff and now Martinez (again) aren’t cutting it.  Young & Young Associates defense is mad weak, Rollins is still the King of Pop & Chooch needs to get back on the dope which leads me to my original concept: RE-SIGN UTLEY!

 

I think the turning point for this team was in 2011 when Lee blew the game against the Cards during the pennant race.  The Cards aren’t the same team that won it all that year.  However, their management was slick enough to retool the club with some great talent.  Which leads me to my final thought kids: FIRE RAJ! Before yesterday’s game Amaro told Murphy that we are still buyers, but by the end of the convo he said we might sell.  Whatta ya sell em’, buy em, sell ‘em? He doesn’t know which end is up.  He should have been fired after trading Lee away.  He tried to build a team around our aces by shopping at a yard sale and now we’re looking at Brian Wilson.  I’m sick of seeing these no-name has-beens wear the red pin stripes. 

 

Although the fans yelling ‘SELL! SELL! SELL!’ may be right they need to be more specific…just in case Rubes (or whoever) is listening.  Let’s get ‘Bunted!

For the Love of the Game

Its often been said that and publicity is good publicity.

But not so says the Wriz. MLB attendance has been in a tailspin as has its ratings. The major problem the MLB has holding its fans is its failure to deal with adversity or scandals. Steroids and PED’s have basically crippled the sport. But why just baseball? Its not like other pro athletes didn’t/don’t use steroids or PED’s. For Christ’s sakes Ray Lewis was alleged to have taken deer antler spray. The story broke the week of the Super Bowl and by game time it was no longer an issue. Its because Bud Selig and the MLB just drag it on and on and on and on.  Its so in the forefront of all baseball fans minds that as soon as someone plays well, “they must be on something.”

First was the Mitchell Report, the investigation took 21 months and then the names were withheld but every so often a name got leaked and then another one  and another one. Then so and so was supposedly on it because what’s his name heard if from Joe Schmo.

The players who were the focal point of the Mitchell Report and the Balco controversy are become eligible for the Hall of Fame so it becomes a story again.

Now, we have the BioGenesis malarkey. And again MLB is dragging the shit out. The story broke before spring and there were 20 players on the list. I understand that it needed to be investigated, but its now nearly August and Ryan Braun and only Ryan Braun has gotten suspended. Not 50 games for a first time offense but 65 or the rest of the season. Funny that the Brewers are out of it. Funny that Braun is willing to take his suspension without pay now…before his salary increases next year.

 

I’ve said from the beginning that had Braun’s and Aroid’s not been part of the scandal it would have gone away way sooner. It’s a which hunt for the 2 biggest names with PED’s connections, still playing who’ve never received any sort of punishment even tho both had been caught. Rumors are now floating around that Afraud may face a lifetime ban. As much as I hate the man, it’s still bad for baseball because it’ll drag on for decades like Pete Rose’s ban has.

I hope that the MLB and Player’s Union can get this mess straightened out sooner rather than later for our sake and for the sake of the game we love.

See ya at the ballgame!

Jay Wrizight

jaywrizight@yahoo.com

Zig Zag, Up Down, Left Right

   View From the Left Coast by a Lefty:  Zig Zag, Up Down, Left Right

 

Heading to All Star festivities I'll admit this past week has put me on all of the emotions in my title. Taking 3 of 4 from the Gnats had a small part of me almost hopeful of 2007 happening all over. The records were similar(eerily within  a game) and the recent winning ways were almost blinding. And then came the rainout and Game 1 on Saturday. I predict that was the pit that swung the pendulum for the season. We should have won that game in the 9th, 2nd and 3rd nobody out. Yet Charlie chose to let people swing away(no surprise he loves guys who can swing and hit) instead of trying something nobody expected... SQUEEZE. He had the perfect opportunity to blindside Robin Ventura, a 2nd year manager, yet stuck with his traditional thinking and got zero for it. Maybe this is why the Phillies lead the universe in runners LOB, more succinctly in scoring position. So we end up not winning and losing 2 things in the 11th... 1) the game and 2) our hottest hitter Revere with a broken foot. Had they won in 9 Revere would be playing right now, which he's not. And I contend, as I have since 4/12, that Charlie's time is damn near done.

 

I truly wanted this to be a positive, constructive piece. However, I agree with Wriz it's time to sell off the people who can bring the most return that will help in the long run. I can see Chooch and possibly Michael Young to the Yankees, especially with Jeter going dormant again. But do they have enough in the farm to make it worth our while? I can see Utley possibly to the Dodgers for the same. Kratz, Frandsen, and Galvis are the immediate fill ins but Reading and the Iron Pigs have some good kids who are ready to explode. If you haven't been following either team let me suggest now you brush up, it's worth a read. If it were humanly possible to unload Howard, without having to eat more than $10MIL/year, then go for it. Many may not like this either but I've been preaching it for weeks... Papelbum to DET for Castellanos. If you can't win enough games to make the 2nd wild card why do you need a $12MIL closer? His recent exploits have also been less than stellar to boot. Yet I digress... lastly Charlie must go too.

 

I wish I had more knowledge to drop on you but the current state of the NL East numbs me. At this point, whoever wins is out first round. Not even the fireworks tonight can sway me. But I do have this for Cliff and Dom... Good luck in NY and have a great time. I'm glad Dom didn't get into the HR derby and can just have fun and learn by osmosis. Not sure how many more pieces I have left in me for this year when my material is so up in the air. So let's get bunted.

 

                                                Bill S aka/netfather

Ssshhh…we’re winning

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood

Ssshhh…we’re winning.

 

 

WATCH THIS WHIFF BRO!

 

So rumblings of the Phils being a ‘selling team’, a lil pow-wow courtesy of Cholly & Rubes and all of sudden we win the series against the Pirates, Braves and (maybe even the) ‘Gnats! Oh snap!  Is this for realz or just fool’s gold?  Time will tell I guess, but as of now we’re winning and all of my ‘Buntamaniacs have their own opinions on what’s behind the surge.  So, what does the H*Double think put the Phight back into our Phightans?  Like my Italian uncle would say….tree tings!

 

3.  Ryan Howard to the DL:  A lot of people only believe in God when bad things happen.  This is similar to the relationship the Phils organization has with the Big Piece.  We have to start him (no el platoono) and bat him clean-up or bad stuff will happen.  Well, the sacred cow is on the DL, so we could all breathe a sigh of relief.  He’s dead weight bro and I guarantee whoever takes his spot in the lineup (Ruff, Mayberry, Frandsen) will not (consistently) strike out as much as Howard did.  Based on the latter alone this team has already improved.  Plus, Downtown Dom Brown now gets to bat clean-up and rightfully so.

 

2.  Ole King Cole:  Cole is on a FI-YUH!  Well sort of, but he has won 2 in a row.  His game against the ‘Gnats was superb which included bailing himself out of some sticky situations.  I guess pushing him back really did work.  Now that our #1 Ace is sorta kinda back we now have that 1-2 (#Lee ) punch we need.  Don’t forget Lannan looked sharp to, so now we just need KK to get his ish together.

 

1.Ben Revere:  He did it like this…he did it like that…he did it with a league issued bat!  Word to my 40oz!  Hitting is contagious, so with Revere being on fire Young, J*Roll and even D*Young are slowly following suit.  And don’t forget about Utley and the aforementioned Brown.  Could the offense be better?  Hells yes!  But posting 5 runs should be enough for our starters to solidify a win!  Anyone still miss Vance Romance?

 

So what do we do at the deadline?  I think we should sign Utley if the price is right.  I think if Rollins gotta deal then Utley definitely needs some consideration.  I know he’s injury prone, but he’s a solid bat and the face of the franchise.  He’s the Derek Jeter of the Phillies…losing him would hurt this team on so many levels. Once that deal’s done get some bullpen help.  If that involves trading M*Young or Chooch then so be it.  I love Chooch, but a juiceless Chooch is like a Playboy without the centerfold.  Once those 2 things are done I think we’ll be alright.  If the offense & Cole continue to produce and with Halladay & *cough* Howard coming back I think we could give the Bravos a run for their money.  And if the total opposite happens then fire RAJ immediately, just don’t blame me cuz I’m only a jackass off the internet.  Follow me on twitter @therealcjhood…let’s get ‘bunted!!!

The Untouchables

 

It’s often said that a teams most prized players are “untouchable” or that there is nothing you could get in return that would make it worth or while to trade them. As it becomes more and more likely that the Phillies run as a contender is over. Let’s take a look at the Phillies options on who can fetch some players who can help the club down the line.

Who’s untouchable? Well frankly, nobody. To say the Wriz don’t believe any player is untouchable is a slight exaggeration but only slight. If you can trade a player and get back more than you’re giving up they aren’t untouchable. In fact, there are only a few players in all major sports I’d consider untouchable. Lebron James is. Crosby or Malkin maybe, buy their propensity to get hurt makes it just a maybe.

Back to our boys. Right now, the closest we have to an untouchable player would be Cliff Lee, Dom Brown and Cole Hamels. Hamels is 2-11 and has a 4.58 ERA and makes a boat load of cash. He can go, but you want to buy low and sell high. I’m sure some GM’s can overlook his performance thus far as an enigma but enough to get what he’s worth I doubt it. Cliff Lee is having a very good year. He too makes a shit load, but a team in need of pitching help could give you some nice prospects. Dom Brown on the other hand makes peanuts and isn’t even eligible for arbitration until 2015, but opposed to Cole is he at his highest value now?

If the Wriz was in control, he’d be fielding calls for anyone in a Phillies uniform. The Phanatic, the ball girls EVERYONE! Fuck, I’d even trade pistachio girl if I thought it get me a player with some heart. Lord knows this team needs some. But just because I’m discussing it doesn’t mean I’m giving away the team either.  The way I look at it, Hamels, Lee and Brown can be dealt but only if I KNOW I’m getting the best of it. And that means Major League ready top prospects.

If you can find some to take JRoll, do it. I’d say the same for Howard but realistically you’d have to eat so much of that salary you’d end up looking like Jared before Subway happened. Even Paps will get you a nice return. A 14 million dollar closer is a luxury this team doesn’t need right now. Everyone else? I’m taking whatever I can get. Both Youngs, Chooch, KK and sad to say even Chase have to go to acquire the building blocks of the next incarnation of a contending team. I love Chase but unless he gives a major hometown discount and signs before the trade deadline, he’s gotta go. Reports say the Dodgers would sign him for 3 years 45 million. There is NO FUCKING WAY I’d be on board with that deal.

Back to Southern California?

 

Remember when everyone was all like “In Reuben we trust?” We’ll the Wriz didn’t and still don’t. I’m saying my prayers every night that he can prove me wrong otherwise this dreadful season is just the tip.

See ya at the ballpark!

Jay Wrizight

jaywrizight@yahoo.com

 

PS Just the tip of the Iceberg, you sick fuck!

Papelbologna

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood

Papelbologna

 

 

MY CLOSER HAS A FIRST NAME IT’S C-R-Y-B-A-B-Y!

 

A lot of things have happened since I last blessed you with a Hoodwink’d ep.  On a personal note, former ‘Bunter, DB29 had another baby (he’s 2 shy of having his own reality show). I turned the big 4-0 (now I know how Netfather Bill felt in the 1960’s).  (Also, now that I’m older, I find that I’m using parenthesis a lot more). But more importantly, the Phillies got to .500 and 2nd place in the East…hell, they even were above .500 at one point.  Then they went on a road trip to play the ‘twin towers’ of the MLB (Twins & Brewers) and got schooled.  Next, they came home, almost swept the ‘Gnats & even copped the 2nd place spot again for 24 hours.  Some ‘Buntamaniacs claim this blogger jinx’ed the sweep cuz I made a broom reference on our Facebook page.  Get real…the Phils don’t need my help to blow a game…they got a whole cast of characters to take care of that bro!

 

We’ve also added another concern to worry about in our closer.  Papelbologna almost blew game 1 of the Gnats series, so he came back in game 3 to have at it again.  And success!  Then the cast of characters which is our bullpen paraded out and Ian Desmond clocked a granny.  At that point it was zzzz’s time cuz it would take this team 6 games to overcome a 4 run deficit.  And the icing on the cake, Papp is now playing the ‘blame game.’  He must know he’s on his way out at the end of July.  Other points of discussion include the derailment of the D*Brown hit parade, Howard’s slight progression at the dish (although he struck out thrice on Wed) but as long as we have Delmon Young to blame all is good (tongue planted firmly in cheek). 

 

 

THIS IS THE RAJ OF BOLOGNAS. #CHEAPANDGROSS

 

At this point I think we need to clean house starting with RAJ all the way down to Ryan Howard.  This team needs a facelift and I’m not even sure Sandy’s the answer cuz I’m not a fan of his skillz at 3rd base.  He’s sent more men home than Obama.  Neil Young has a better chance scoring at home than Delmon Young does.  It’s time to let go of the past and start anew.  I don’t have all the answers, but we’re downgrading while other teams make moves.  It’s been 5 years since we won it all…that’s 10 in baseball years.  The RAJ theory on ‘pitching wins games’ only works for the Phillies if those pitchers know how to hit.  Otherwise we’ll continue to lose 2-0 or 1-0.  So if you’re not going to clean house at least acquire an ace at the plate.  Bargain hunting at the MLB garage sales isn’t cutting it.

I remember when writing this blog was fun now I’m just trying to find different ways to say the same shit.  There won’t be any new news to report until the organization decides to create some.  Until then stay out of the heat….let’s get ‘bunted!