Been a Lonnnnnnnnng Season

View From the Left Coast by a Lefty:  Been a Lonnnnnnnnng Season

 

I've spent a couple of weeks thinking about this, my last piece of the year. I actually started out three different times to write it, and each time drew a blank on the direction it would take. Earlier CJ nailed a good way to end, with awards. Seeing as how that's no longer available, I'd like to accept my Globetrotter trophy by thanking Southwest Airlines for *NOT* cancelling my flight this year after I had to book my vacation seven months in advance and pray the M'n'GIII would fall during my stay. I don't think I'll be making it back home in 2014 so that pressure is lifted. Next year it's time for my family (and anyone else interested) to trek to AZ to see me. So if anyone who reads this decides to brave the desert just PM me on Facebook and I'll do what I can to accomodate. Something to consider: the Phils are in town here April 27-29(Fri-Sun) and our annual Scardefield outing will be that weekend. My kids seems to enjoy me spending $300 on tickets so they can sit around and bullshit and up some pics to Facebook. I usually have to guess who's going to fork up the $11 for a hot dog and beer but I digress.

 

So now, what's left to hash out? I think it's a foregone conclusion that Sandberg will be made the perm manager. To me he's shown signs he has a plan. Now if only RAJ had a plan this coming winter could be productive. If I had my druthers there would be some way for the Phils to rid themself of Howard's contract and Chris Wheeler in one fell swoop. That alone would brighten the horizon and bring hope to a disenchanted franchise and it's fans. But with neither being reality let me offer a few moves to be made. First, re-sign Chooch at a hometown rate. We need him one more year for a lot of reasons. Second, someone needs to review all the video on Kendrick... to note how he went from bum to dependable and now seems to be returning to his former self. That same person can also research Hamels video for mostly the same reasons, but in opposite directions. Cliff Lee has earned his annual trek to Arkansas no problema. But third, this is one that will make me very unpopular... I think we part ways with Doc. His desire and effort are not in question, but I personally think he may just say phuckit because he can't perform to his own standards. He doesn't need to prove to anyone, in Philly or anywhere, what he has accomplished. But I also don't think there's enough left for his pride to let him continue as a major league pitcher on the elite level. I know I couldn't do it when I threw my arm out and lost any hope of a major league career. But I still played another five years, just never pitched again because I could hit as well as anyone. I know, I know, nobody cares but it *IS* my opinion lol.

Now for the kids. I'm excited to see Ruf and Asche start next season as major leaguers. I'm excited for the return of Ben Revere. I want to see Dom Brown come back and be as consistent as he was this year. I want to see Bunts CEO The Wriz become excited for another new season and anticipate more contributions from him <ducking>. I think Galvis has to start the year on the roster as well. If we can perfect his relief pitcher technique I can finally let go of Wilson Valdez. I wish Maikel Franco was ready, boy we could use his bat. I hope Tommy Joseph is free of concussion symptoms and they decide where he should play, cuz the boy has talent. Rupp looks like he can be capable but we stick with Chooch and Kratz. I'm definitely planning on following Jesse Biddle as best I can from out here, he's the next order of intrigue.

Ok now, any moves to be made? I think we fire RAJ before he gives away too much for Mike(I refuse to call him Giancarlo) Stanton. I feel much better now about Chase returning than I did 2+ months ago. Rollins we're stuck with, I say move him down to 6th in the lineup. Maybe then he'll wake up when he realizes he's no longer an offensive threat. Once again I offer my services to the Phillies to teach Ryan Howard how to hit. Sitting in FL in his $7MIL mansion he isn't learning shit except how to collect a guaranteed pay check. Now, I wish I had an answer for the bullpen. At least Diekman and Rosenberg have shown some improvement. But it's going to take more work than the Seaside Heights boardwalk and I don't have answers. Sad to say my expectations for next year = 3rd place NL East.

So there you have it sports fans, the ranting and ravings of a crazed old man who resides 2500 miles from CBP. I wish it was better, but in some weird way this piece seems to mirror the Phils season. In, out, lucid, incoherent... we got it all. Once again let me thank all the peeps I met at M'n'GreetIII, it was a blast. Wriz, I know I've done better and hopefully, like the Phillies, it'll show next year. CJ you get Bunter of the Year hands down. As of today, 9/13/13, I turn my attention and hope to Chip's offense and the opening of Flyers training camp. But that's for a different piece. My hat's off to all you Bunters who keep the Phaith. May we continue to exchange views on Facebook. Chow til 2014.

 

                                Bill S/aka netfather

da Bunters

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood
da Bunters

Now that the season is basically over I figured I’d spend my last blog of the season focusing on the positives of the year.  Sports, tv, movies, hell even porn, has their own annual awards gala…so why can’t we?  So today, on the thirteenth day of September, two thousand and thirteen in the year of our Lord I present to you the 1st Annual Phillies Bunts Awards bka da Bunters.

ELECTRIC SEX HAS NOTHING ON DA BUNTERS!!!

Rookie of the Year Award:
Darin Ruf.  Ashe may be hot as of late, but I think Ruf was more solid overall.  He’s got the swing and the power to become a heavy hitter in the league.  I’d love to see Howard get his walking papers and Ruf get the 1B job.

Humanitarian Award:
The Wriz for using his entanglement of a beard to house lost & abandoned kittens. Well deserved.

Don’t Call It A Comeback Award bka Pill Poppin Player of the Year Award:
Tie: Chooch & Galvis. I never understand your post game interviews (and either does Murph), but I do understand solid at-bats.  Unless we could get a key piece in return, I think we should re-sign Chooch.  I think Galvis should start next year, maybe at 3rd, if we trade Asche for lets say Giancarlo ‘don’t call me Mike’ Stanton.

Kornhole Blogger of the Year Award:
DB29.  He still sports our swag but pens in invisible ink
(Honorable mention: Diamond Girl)

Michael ‘King of Pop’ Jackson Bunter Vanguard Award:
Jimmy Rollins.  Stop swinging at the first pitch bro.  At lease Sandberg had the bells to sit your ass down.

 

AND YOU THOUGHT I GOT HIGH LAST SEASON!!!

F’ed in the A’ Award:
Sir Charles Manuel.  Your time may have been up, but the organization still didn’t have to treat you like a Canadian coin in a Pepsi machine.

Napoleon Complex Award:
Ruben Amaro Jr.  You straight up clowned this team and as a result on slow decline since ’09.  You doled out cash like it was Monopoly money and we got fat cats like Howard riding the pine.  Manuel is gone and you’re next if you don’t get some bats up in here and mend the bullpen. So do it!!!

Globetrotter Award:
Netfather Bill.  He missed his flight last year (but at least tried), so he tried again this year with much success and attended M&GIII.  Although he was out of uniform he did attend and traveled across the country to be there.

Turn Around Bright Eyes Award:
Ryno Sandberg.  Manuel got pushed out faster than an Octomom baby, but irregardless (not a real word) the Phils have somewhat turned it around in their last 60 games.  Whether this was just one of those baseball trends or not we’ll never know, but my vote is to retain him for 2014.
Side note:  I hope the organization holds a Charlie Manuel Day so we can properly say goodbye.

Bench Player of the Year Award:
Kevin Frandsen.  My man hits walk-offs, can play any position and has a dirtier helmet than Peter North.  I hope he sticks around for a while.

 

“THANK YOU FOR THIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD.”

Mad Bro? Award:
Big Pun C. Dude, we appreciate your input…we really do, but why you so mad?  Every time there’s a light hearted LOL post on FB you gotta get all ‘Moody Judy’ on us.  Lighten’ up mang…Howard will be back next year.

Buntamaniac of the Year Award:
Despite the shitty season, our fine little organization blew up in 2013.  And as we welcome all to our family there are a few Buntamaniacs who are always supporting our cause.  So this accolade goes out to a few peeps: Robin, Timmy ‘the leg’, Lori, Sue, Missy, Robert, Joe, Mary and Al.  Thanks for making this season somewhat tolerable. 

Phillie of the Year:
D*Brown was a baller for the first half and earned his first all-star game, but it’s not him.  Lee was also an all-star but he didn’t cop bling either.  Cole? You would think, but nope.  Then who could it be you ask???
Ben Revere:  He’s a positive influence on and off the field and was a solid bat up until he got injured in a game that shouldn’t have gone as far as it did.  He’s back now in Clearwater and I think he’ll be a stud for us for years to come.

And there it is kids, if you’re not happy with the results than comment below or on Spacebook.  And if you didn’t get an award, like Pee Wee Herman would say, ‘I meant to do that.’  Have a good off season kids: Say your prayers & eat your vitamins.  Hopefully my last blog next year will be in late October after a Phillies WS win! Catch me Fri; Oct 4th headlining the END OF SUMMER COMEDY TRAIN REK show at Daly’s Irish Pub in Northeast Philly @ 8pm…let’s get ‘bunted!

Scapegoat

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Yard Sale Days Revisited

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood

Yard Sale Days Revisited

 

 

 

Coming out of the All Star break I commented on Broad Street Misery’s FB page that in order to be legit buyers we need to sweep the Mets and win either the Cards or Tigers’ series.  That did not happen…not even close. What’s worse is the Gnats & Braves aren’t setting the world on fire by any means.  The NL East is weaker than Ryan Braun’s interest in the truth. If we did what we were supposed to do we’d only be a few games out of first right now.  So now what?

 

Every time the Hood Ranch has a yard sale my boys rummage thru the goods, stumble upon their stuff and say “Are you selling this?”  That’s how I feel about the Phillies right now.  Yes we should sell, but the bigger question is ‘what do we sell?’  Another yard sale staple is when these hustlers show up and try to clock a name brand item for fitty-cent.  Which leads me to the next questions my fellow Buntamaniacs: If we do sell how much should we expect back?

 

I posted on the ‘Bunts FB page today that we should re-sign Utley…he’s our best hitter.  Seconds later our favorite heckler, Big Pun, referred to me as a ra-tard.  Thank God someone with a little more panache added that we shouldn’t sign him for more than 2 years.  That’s what I meant yo!  Of course we’re not going to blindly sign LL Cool Chase to a 5 yr/$25mill deal.  If he wants to be a Phil for life then he needs to play ball and so do we.

 

Once again, we are playing as a M*A*S*H unit. Ben Revere’s accident never should have happened, D*Brown who was weak in the 4-hole (told you…lolz) is out til Friday, Howard (who cares) and Doc are all illin.  Moreover, their replacements need to catch the next bus to Lehigh: Mayberry, Ruff and now Martinez (again) aren’t cutting it.  Young & Young Associates defense is mad weak, Rollins is still the King of Pop & Chooch needs to get back on the dope which leads me to my original concept: RE-SIGN UTLEY!

 

I think the turning point for this team was in 2011 when Lee blew the game against the Cards during the pennant race.  The Cards aren’t the same team that won it all that year.  However, their management was slick enough to retool the club with some great talent.  Which leads me to my final thought kids: FIRE RAJ! Before yesterday’s game Amaro told Murphy that we are still buyers, but by the end of the convo he said we might sell.  Whatta ya sell em’, buy em, sell ‘em? He doesn’t know which end is up.  He should have been fired after trading Lee away.  He tried to build a team around our aces by shopping at a yard sale and now we’re looking at Brian Wilson.  I’m sick of seeing these no-name has-beens wear the red pin stripes. 

 

Although the fans yelling ‘SELL! SELL! SELL!’ may be right they need to be more specific…just in case Rubes (or whoever) is listening.  Let’s get ‘Bunted!

For the Love of the Game

Its often been said that and publicity is good publicity.

But not so says the Wriz. MLB attendance has been in a tailspin as has its ratings. The major problem the MLB has holding its fans is its failure to deal with adversity or scandals. Steroids and PED’s have basically crippled the sport. But why just baseball? Its not like other pro athletes didn’t/don’t use steroids or PED’s. For Christ’s sakes Ray Lewis was alleged to have taken deer antler spray. The story broke the week of the Super Bowl and by game time it was no longer an issue. Its because Bud Selig and the MLB just drag it on and on and on and on.  Its so in the forefront of all baseball fans minds that as soon as someone plays well, “they must be on something.”

First was the Mitchell Report, the investigation took 21 months and then the names were withheld but every so often a name got leaked and then another one  and another one. Then so and so was supposedly on it because what’s his name heard if from Joe Schmo.

The players who were the focal point of the Mitchell Report and the Balco controversy are become eligible for the Hall of Fame so it becomes a story again.

Now, we have the BioGenesis malarkey. And again MLB is dragging the shit out. The story broke before spring and there were 20 players on the list. I understand that it needed to be investigated, but its now nearly August and Ryan Braun and only Ryan Braun has gotten suspended. Not 50 games for a first time offense but 65 or the rest of the season. Funny that the Brewers are out of it. Funny that Braun is willing to take his suspension without pay now…before his salary increases next year.

 

I’ve said from the beginning that had Braun’s and Aroid’s not been part of the scandal it would have gone away way sooner. It’s a which hunt for the 2 biggest names with PED’s connections, still playing who’ve never received any sort of punishment even tho both had been caught. Rumors are now floating around that Afraud may face a lifetime ban. As much as I hate the man, it’s still bad for baseball because it’ll drag on for decades like Pete Rose’s ban has.

I hope that the MLB and Player’s Union can get this mess straightened out sooner rather than later for our sake and for the sake of the game we love.

See ya at the ballgame!

Jay Wrizight

jaywrizight@yahoo.com

Zig Zag, Up Down, Left Right

   View From the Left Coast by a Lefty:  Zig Zag, Up Down, Left Right

 

Heading to All Star festivities I'll admit this past week has put me on all of the emotions in my title. Taking 3 of 4 from the Gnats had a small part of me almost hopeful of 2007 happening all over. The records were similar(eerily within  a game) and the recent winning ways were almost blinding. And then came the rainout and Game 1 on Saturday. I predict that was the pit that swung the pendulum for the season. We should have won that game in the 9th, 2nd and 3rd nobody out. Yet Charlie chose to let people swing away(no surprise he loves guys who can swing and hit) instead of trying something nobody expected... SQUEEZE. He had the perfect opportunity to blindside Robin Ventura, a 2nd year manager, yet stuck with his traditional thinking and got zero for it. Maybe this is why the Phillies lead the universe in runners LOB, more succinctly in scoring position. So we end up not winning and losing 2 things in the 11th... 1) the game and 2) our hottest hitter Revere with a broken foot. Had they won in 9 Revere would be playing right now, which he's not. And I contend, as I have since 4/12, that Charlie's time is damn near done.

 

I truly wanted this to be a positive, constructive piece. However, I agree with Wriz it's time to sell off the people who can bring the most return that will help in the long run. I can see Chooch and possibly Michael Young to the Yankees, especially with Jeter going dormant again. But do they have enough in the farm to make it worth our while? I can see Utley possibly to the Dodgers for the same. Kratz, Frandsen, and Galvis are the immediate fill ins but Reading and the Iron Pigs have some good kids who are ready to explode. If you haven't been following either team let me suggest now you brush up, it's worth a read. If it were humanly possible to unload Howard, without having to eat more than $10MIL/year, then go for it. Many may not like this either but I've been preaching it for weeks... Papelbum to DET for Castellanos. If you can't win enough games to make the 2nd wild card why do you need a $12MIL closer? His recent exploits have also been less than stellar to boot. Yet I digress... lastly Charlie must go too.

 

I wish I had more knowledge to drop on you but the current state of the NL East numbs me. At this point, whoever wins is out first round. Not even the fireworks tonight can sway me. But I do have this for Cliff and Dom... Good luck in NY and have a great time. I'm glad Dom didn't get into the HR derby and can just have fun and learn by osmosis. Not sure how many more pieces I have left in me for this year when my material is so up in the air. So let's get bunted.

 

                                                Bill S aka/netfather

Ssshhh…we’re winning

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood

Ssshhh…we’re winning.

 

 

WATCH THIS WHIFF BRO!

 

So rumblings of the Phils being a ‘selling team’, a lil pow-wow courtesy of Cholly & Rubes and all of sudden we win the series against the Pirates, Braves and (maybe even the) ‘Gnats! Oh snap!  Is this for realz or just fool’s gold?  Time will tell I guess, but as of now we’re winning and all of my ‘Buntamaniacs have their own opinions on what’s behind the surge.  So, what does the H*Double think put the Phight back into our Phightans?  Like my Italian uncle would say….tree tings!

 

3.  Ryan Howard to the DL:  A lot of people only believe in God when bad things happen.  This is similar to the relationship the Phils organization has with the Big Piece.  We have to start him (no el platoono) and bat him clean-up or bad stuff will happen.  Well, the sacred cow is on the DL, so we could all breathe a sigh of relief.  He’s dead weight bro and I guarantee whoever takes his spot in the lineup (Ruff, Mayberry, Frandsen) will not (consistently) strike out as much as Howard did.  Based on the latter alone this team has already improved.  Plus, Downtown Dom Brown now gets to bat clean-up and rightfully so.

 

2.  Ole King Cole:  Cole is on a FI-YUH!  Well sort of, but he has won 2 in a row.  His game against the ‘Gnats was superb which included bailing himself out of some sticky situations.  I guess pushing him back really did work.  Now that our #1 Ace is sorta kinda back we now have that 1-2 (#Lee ) punch we need.  Don’t forget Lannan looked sharp to, so now we just need KK to get his ish together.

 

1.Ben Revere:  He did it like this…he did it like that…he did it with a league issued bat!  Word to my 40oz!  Hitting is contagious, so with Revere being on fire Young, J*Roll and even D*Young are slowly following suit.  And don’t forget about Utley and the aforementioned Brown.  Could the offense be better?  Hells yes!  But posting 5 runs should be enough for our starters to solidify a win!  Anyone still miss Vance Romance?

 

So what do we do at the deadline?  I think we should sign Utley if the price is right.  I think if Rollins gotta deal then Utley definitely needs some consideration.  I know he’s injury prone, but he’s a solid bat and the face of the franchise.  He’s the Derek Jeter of the Phillies…losing him would hurt this team on so many levels. Once that deal’s done get some bullpen help.  If that involves trading M*Young or Chooch then so be it.  I love Chooch, but a juiceless Chooch is like a Playboy without the centerfold.  Once those 2 things are done I think we’ll be alright.  If the offense & Cole continue to produce and with Halladay & *cough* Howard coming back I think we could give the Bravos a run for their money.  And if the total opposite happens then fire RAJ immediately, just don’t blame me cuz I’m only a jackass off the internet.  Follow me on twitter @therealcjhood…let’s get ‘bunted!!!