Worstest

Hoodwink’d by cj hood

Worstest

I had a Hoodwink’d ready to go last week then Word asked me if I wanted to save it and I said ‘no.’ Word to technology! Anyway, last year was all hugs & kisses and the LOLz oozed from my pen like milk from T*Mac’s supple breasts. However, as we all know, this year’s different. One the bright side, at least we’re hitting the ball, but then again the hole we’re in so smelly, big & deep we should knick-name this season ‘the Kim Kardashian.’ Like Wriz said on Wed, I think we have no choice but to trade Hamels for a bat(s). And I hate that because he’s a homegrown hero with a style that Philly hasn’t seen since local native Tina Fey. Irregardless (not a real word), I present to you some things that are worse than this dismissal team.

I’D RATHER HAVE QUALLS START EVERY GAME THAN EAT A BITE OF THIS ISH!

25 things worse than the ’12 Phillies:

25. Andy Reid’s cholesterol

24. bath salts

23. Joan River’s plastic surgeon

22. Sarge’s closer #imdonegetout

21. the ‘Gnats

20. Subway cheese steaks

19. Amy Fadool not wishing me a HB yesterday.

18. red beets

17. entertaining my kids for the next 12 weeks

16. Casey Anthony

15. John Travolta on a massage table

14. scones

13. walking in my yard bare foot forgetting I now own a dog

12. Net Father Bill’s travel agent

11. Bud Light

10. Real Housewives of (insert city)

9. DB29’s personal trainer

8. gas station bathrooms

7. ’45 Phillies

6. oily bologna in a jar

5. the Republican Party

4. Chris Wheeler

3. cancer

2. Jerry Sandusky’s showering regiment

1. only getting ‘bunted 29X this season thus far…as of Thurs morning.