Hoodwink’d             
by cj hood
Facts of 
Life
Kids, I’m 
speechless…I don’t know what to say anymore.  I actually felt bad 
for Chase Utley Wed night (and normally I don’t feel bad for multi-millionaires 
who ladies worship).  But the ‘chosen one’ returns and Cholly 
decides to go with a pigpen game.  DUDE, F’ QUALLS! I HATE 
HIM MORE THAN REPUBLICANS HATE THE MIDDLE CLASS! CUT HIS ASS YESTERDAY!!!  
(UPDATE: Qualls was given the axe…God is good.) There’s a lot of 
positives coming out of the Phightans camp as of late, but the ‘usual suspects’ 
keep f’ing it up!  I’m sick of watching and I’m sure my FB peeps 
are sick of hearing me bitch about it on the internets.  Philly 
fans expect a ‘Blair Warner’ season, but they’re giving us a ‘Natalie Green’ 
effort.  Word to Tootie!
BLAIR 
BROUGHT ME THRU SOME HARD TIMES BACK IN THE DAY!
You take 
the good, you take the bad, you take them both and here you have 
the Phillies
Facts of 
Life:
-J*Roll’s 
bat is on fire; Pence’s D sucks.
-Chase is 
back bustin ass; bullpen blows.
-Chooch is 
the King of Rock; we can’t afford to rest him
-Lee’s winless; Baby Roy has 2 W’s under his 
belt
-Show 
Girls; Magic Mike
-Vance’s 
faux hawk; my puppy getting shaved by Stevie Wonder w/turrets 
-Martinez 
is gone; but Fontenot is still here.
-Dwayne 
Wayne; Dewayne Wise
-Obamacare; 
a Republican trips a kid to see if it’ll really work.
-Howard’s 
starting rehab; but so is Andy Dick.
-Cole IS 
our #1 ace; he’s ghost next season!
-Jenny 
McCarthy’s Playboy spread in ’94; her Playboy spread in ‘12
-cj hood’s 
legit LOLZ; (Blair’s cousin) Gerri’s sympathy lols
-Kendrick’s 
2-7 innings; Kendrick’s 1st inning
-Jeremy 
Horst; liver worst
-Papelbon; 
barely needing him
-getting 
‘bunted; Is It 7:05 Yet?
 

 
 
I wanted to come up with a funny Good/Bad comment....Like the Phillies bullpen, I got nothin'.
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