Deader

Hoodwink’d by cj hood

Deader

OUR BULLPEN BLOWS…AH-HUH-UH! #RIP

Last week I read the Phillies Eulogy and despite winning almost every series they’ve played since All Star break they’re still dead. No chance of coming back and getting jiggy wit it ala 2Pac or Biggie. They’re not necessarily dead in wins, but dead in ‘heart.’ And once the heart goes it’s over bro…peace out homie. Just ask Elvis.

J*Roll should be renamed Keiser Roll cuz Netfather Bill with his pacemaker & walker could give more of an effort than Jimmy (see Wriz article J-Walk) can. On Tuesday, the bullpen produced more runs than a Taco Bell breakfast. Last night was no different, when the bullpen ‘got scared of the guy in shades – oh yes’ and Hart went for yard scoring 4. 

But like I said last week, it seems that our beloved Manuel would have difficulty managing in the WWE where the moves are all scripted. There’s a reason they call them managers and not coaches in the MLB. IF AN ACE IS DEALING, LET THEM GO TIL THE 8th AND THEN BRING IN PAPP! Should we trade Cholly & RAJ for a box of urinal cakes? Well should we?

I think most Philly headz have switched gears to Eagles mode (I have…sorta). While others are replacing their Jesus’ statues with Bynum bobbleheads. (That press conference was embarrassing…get a grip kids.) Which leaves the ‘Buntamaniacs crying and babbling like Tra Thomas at a noon showing of Bambi. Ya I said it.

With a decent bullpen and some Triple A managing our team could easily be a Wild Card contender. Brown, Kratz & Frandsen have been producing as well as expected. Halladay & Lee started coming around. Utley’s back…Howard’s good for one hit a week. We’re in there like swimwear! But alas…that’s not the position we’re in.

I guess in hindsight, the Blanton move was the one that hurt the most. With KK out of the bullpen we’re exposed like DB29 in a medium sized Incubus tshirt. Blanton as well as Pence & Vic are gone and we got little in return. Which obviously means more major moves must be made (how’s that for alliteration?). We need to get back into autopilot mode, so the biggest decision Manuel has to make is Hubba Bubba or Bubble Yum? Wait til next week when the Big Red Machine comes to town. We used to be Reds killers #Hamels. But now, the cast of Reds (Beatty, Hackman, et al) could give us problems. At least we’re winning series…let’s get ‘bunted!