View from the
by a Lefty: F**k My Life! Left Coast
Yesterday was my brother's anniversary, I was supposed to wake up in his house and walk out for coffee and tell him and his wife Happy 30th Anniversary... yet I couldn't because I'm still in AZ. I thought about it for a few minutes, along with slamming shots of rum and vodka, and realized what happened to me in the last 36 hours or so is kind of like a parallel universe to the Phillies season... we're both basically fuct.
So we start yesterday, morning was great, son in law picks me up on time, go through TSA in 2 minutes, at my gate 95 minutes before takeoff. What's wrong with this picture? Nothing in my life goes this well, I should have known. I get some pizza and a drink and sit down 30 feet from the counter for Gate C14. While eating I get a call on my cell from Southwest saying something a about a cancellation and the call drops. People are starting to congregate at the counter so I stuff the pizza in my face and run over and get in line. I'm 10th in line mind you. Then come announcements about cancelling flights, and I end up standing in line almost 90 minutes before I get to the counter. When I get there, I'm given 3 options for possible flights, which all suck dead donkeys (they couldn't guarantee I get to Philly before late Thursday night) so I demand a refund and where is my suitcase. My flight was non-refundable normally but for a cancelled flight it was possible. However, since this happens like once every millennium the counter person doesn't know how to. 2 phone calls and 25 minutes later they agree to refund me completely. By this time its 4:30 AZ time and my plane should have been over
pissed as hell and take a 29.00 cab home, where I proceed to get shit faced and
look for 2 hours for another flight to get home today. Result: cheapest flight
is $300 more than I already laid out and was not credited back immediately, so
I can't buy it. Round 1 - fuct. Kansas
Then I find out that 2 of my oldest good friends (for more than 40 years, one for 50) had planned parties and special dinners, along with my favorite cousin with whom Thursday was set aside for. So I end up screwing up all their plans but thankfully none were really pissed. This is where the parallel shit comes in... it's like losing Howard, Utley, and Doc from your planned vacation (season) and being happy about it. Round 2 - fuct.
Then I call another of my cousins to apologize, but get a ration of shit from (but in jest I found out a little later). Parallel: Cliff Lee and Victorino barking at each other in the dugout in the 5th fucking inning. Families do that, we all know this. Round 3 - fuct.
Done you say? Oh hell no. I talk to my fav cousin's daughter, whom I've known for 12 years or so now but never met. She and her husband were counting on meeting me finally, because 3 years ago something similar happened and I couldn't get up to his house and disappointed a bunch of people. She understood as did her dad (my fav cousin, Vietnam Vet, and ex teamster in NYC), but then started complaining about her kids running loose crazily around the house. Parallel: a week ago Monday, Phillies throw away at least a tie game to SD because of absolute shitty coaching and little league base running in 9th inning and lose 2-1. Round 4 - fuct.
This is depressing me, enough. Biggest parallel: I don't get to go to the Meet 'N' Greet now and meet all the Bunters I've gotten to know in the last year or two, and my time off turns to waste basically, much like this season. Maybe in a way its better I'm not there cusp I wouldn't have been real positive about this season. NAHHHHH, would be good to drink beer and go to The Bank again. Parallel: push.
No more whining, things could have been much worse. I really felt for all the people I was in line with at the airport. Almost all of them were going home, while I was at home already and under no pressure to get there, unlike the fireman in line behind me. But the kicker is my brother told me today that all they has was some wind and a few drops at his house in Stratford, and that planes were coming in all night in Philly. I take it as an omen I wasn't meant to be there for some reason, so I'm buying a bunch of Powerball tickets for tonight in the hopes I'll get repaid. Wriz, sorry if I hung you out and hope someone else can use my ticket. Robin, I really wanted to meet you... you too CJ. Amy, now you have no more reason to be jealous of me, even being in
I know your pain; my first ex wife is from Pittsburgh LOL. Pittsburgh
To all the rest of, have a fucking blast Sunday and a cold beer for me. If anyone actually bought Bud Light Platinum for me, email it to me... it won't go bad. :)
And seriously, LET'S GET BUNTED!
Bill S aka/netfatherP.S. - doesn't this sound like an extension of my first 3 pieces?
****Note from the Wriz**********
Since Bill bailed, the Wriz cancelled the BL PlatinumGirls appearence at the M&G. Blame the old guy.