Wednesday, May 30, 2012

On the Bright Side

Honestly, it’s been hard to come up with something to write about. You have been watching the games haven’t you? That’s hard enough but to have to relive it is like some sort of Chinese water torture. I mean you can only say: they need to be more patient, Jimmy needs to stop popping up, and Shane needs to take his head out of his ass so many ways. I knew it would be tough but this is down right brutal. Mama Wriz always said sometimes you have to look on the bright side. So that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

It could be worse. I hardly think much worse, but it could be worse. Just think:

-With Doc out, the Phillies could decide to go with a 4 man rotation. 25% more Blanton!
-Galvis could get a Gheri Curl and go all Steve Jeltz on us.

-Wheels could follow you around and do the play-by-play of your personal life.
-Lil Roy coulda signed with the Mets, then we’d know we hit rock bottom.
-Amaro could have been foolish and gave Rollins a 4 year deal.
-You could have Charlie’s vocabulary.
-ALL the Bunts writers could quit.
-Pence might have hurt himself in the gym had he used the metal weights.
-You could be stuck in Arizona and miss the Bunts Meet N Greet: the sequel! (Sorry Bill)
-Dom Brown could be batting .600 in AAA. Then, we’d have 3 outfielders who have trouble with routine plays.
-Qualls could have a rubber arm and pitch everyday.

-Greg Dobbs could be our clean up hitter.
-I heard Tmac was going to do a remote from the “Viewing on the Beach” in a banana hammock.
-Jim Thome could be playing.
-Dubee’s kid could be our baby Ace.

Seriously, on the bright side: Diekman, Valdes and Galvis.

The Bunts Meet n Greet is this Sunday in the Linc lot. The first half naked chick that screams, “Let’s get bunted!” gets a free Bunts tee, and fortunately the shirt won’t cover the half naked part.

See ya at the tailgate!

Jay Wrizight

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