It is the Wriz honor to name CJ Hood as Phillies Bunts Blogger of the year. I used several criteria including entertainment value, meeting deadlines and attendance at the Bunts Meet and Greet. This award could have been easily been given to anyone of the Bunts Bloggers and carries no cash value. It does, however, come with a special interview conducted by the world famous Wriz. So here goes:
Ask Hoodie: BOTY edition
Last "award" previously won by Hood
Jay Wrizight (Wriz): Congrats, CJ. Were you surprised?
CJ Hood (Hood): Very much so. I’d like to thank some people though, without them this wouldn’t be possible: first off my savior the Lord Jesus Christ (who makes all blogging possible), my wife for dusting the computer desk every time I sat down to write Hoodwink’d, my kids, of course the Wriz and the rest of the ‘Bunts staff. Big ups to Kornhole & Eugene for taking the 2nd the half of the season off (kinda like the Mets did).
Wriz: Let’s get down to business then. Everyone knows you’re the world’s biggest Beastie Boy fan. More important to their success: Mixmaster Mike or the cowbell?
Hood: I am the biggest Bboy fan…been down since ’86. On that note, I’d have to say the cowbell. It works for cheap which is convenient cuz my man Mike D doesn’t like to open up his wallet if you know what I’m sayin. MMM on the other hand requires a pay check, food and the like. Plus we all know you can never have enough cowbell.
Wriz: Easier: teaching 3rd graders science or teaching Victorino the science of not popping up?
Hood: Even a 3rd grader knows not to swing at the first pitch ala Victorino and/or J*Roll. You need to work that count like Utley and Chooch does…word to Bill Nye! Quit poppin out yo!...we need you on base.
Wriz: More important to the Phillies Post-season success: the bats or the bullpen?
Hood: da bats. Even our bullpen won’t be able to screw up a game that has enough run support. In Kendrick, Worley & Madson we trust; Lidge…maybe; Stutes and Bastardo…not so much.
Wriz: Bigger Surprise: Fat Joe’s (Blanton) 2008 World Series home run or Fat Joe’s (rapper) weight loss?
Hood: Fat Joe’s homerun. He gave new meaning to the saying "put your weight into it." Plus, fat to a rapper is like hair to Samson….weight loss diminishes your skillz. Just ask Kool Rock Ski!
Wriz: Bigger disappointment: Fat Joe’s 2011 season of Fat Joe’s Loyalty CD?
Hood: I haven’t listened to Jealous One’s Envy since the 90s, so I’m going to have to say Blanton’s 2011 season.
Wriz: Are you more likely to watch Nick at Nite or Wright on Reyes?
Hood: Daily News Live (PG answer) Blacks on Blondes (XXX answer)
Wriz: You’ve made several old school wrestling references in your blogs. Which current Phillies would make the best wrestler and why?
Hood: Heavyweight Champ: Ryan ‘The Big Piece’ Howard; Intercontinental Champ: Big Daddy Shane; Tag Team Champs: Utley & Pence aka Illadelphia Hustlas; Women’s Champ: T*Mac bka Bitch Tits
Wriz: If you were a wrestler what would be your gimmick?
Hood: I’d be a hybrid of several grapplers: A huge presence like Andre; a heel like Iron Mike Sharpe; and the ladies love like Ravishing Rick Rude.
Wriz: Has you love life improved since your wife had control of the camera at your most recently attended game?
Hood: Funny you should ask. The last time we had coitus she exclaimed "Oh, Hunter." But I’m not even mad cuz previously I gasped "Oh, Ball Girl #2 next to the left field foul pole" by accident. Things happen in the middle of making sex.
Wriz: I received several emails blaming you for the Phillies recent troubles in Houston. What do you have to say for yourself?
Hood: What are you talking about bro?
Wriz: I defended you tho. "Sweeping the Astros was easier than one of those Teen Mom 2 chicks," was a great line back in April, but better bulletin board material in September.
Wriz: Tell me the truth. Do you like the Wriz more than the King Adrock since he obliged your photo request?
Hood: The King will always be a hero of mine although he was the reason I got thrown out of the backstage area. Although I know the Wriz is more generous with his beers than Adrock would ever be!
Wriz: Marry, Fuck, Kill. LA, Sarge Wheels.
Hood: Marry LA, Fuck Sarge (I’m into black tail), Kill Wheels (you’re welcome)
Wriz: Worse experience: Hurricane Irene evacuation or Service Electric threatening to drop your service if you called one more time about them not having CN8?
Hood: Both. I couldn’t watch the Phils in both scenarios. Big ups to my brother in law for hooking me with his Sling Box account. Now I can watch the Phils anywhere I go. That’s Sling Box kids…visit them at slingbox.com.
Wriz: We still have the postseason, but what’s your plans for the off season?
Hood: One word bro: TRAIN! I’m taking a noncredited blogging course at the local community college, so I can comeback in 2012 and defend my title!!!
Wriz: Well, congrats again on the award even though if Kornhole had shown up after June he’d a won.
While CJ Hood was named the Bunts Blogger of the year, I feel its also mportant to reward my fellow writers for all their hard work.
I know its not the Uts nuts you wanted but it'll have to do.
For DB29, I cancelled your football package so you'll quit writing about the dumbass eagles and I also got you a gift certificate to Subway and a baseball glove with no webbing. Why? So you can eat and field like your boy.
For Kornhole, I got you a GPS so you can find you way outta the alley and back to Buntsland. and also this:
For Eugene and Netfather aka my fave spot starters, My sincere thanks for you hard work and a reserved seating spot at the next Meet and Greet.