Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Most Interesting Predictions in the World

These are the facts:
Last December, Ruben Amaro stealthy executed one hell of a coup d'etat on major league baseball. All the talk of a "mystery" third team fed to Phillies junkies on facebook and twitter lead to one long, cold night until the confirmation was smacked down on local news and sports center (though sadly, ESPN felt the news about washed up Brett Favre was much more interesting).

"Could it be??" we anxiously asked. Could Ruben do the unthinkable, get Philadelphia their beloved pitcher Clifton Phifer Lee back? Were the Rangers going to allow themselves to lose their Ace? Were the deep pocketed, aging Yankees going to once again do what they do best - shell out a ridiculous offer impossible for any player to refuse? The answer my friends is YES. The Rangers lost an Ace, the Yanks tried to whore Lee to New York with an insane offer but unbe-LEE-vably Clifton Phifer chose to once again come 'live from the 215'.

 What Ruben Amaro Jr managed to accomplish in his short tenure as Phils' GM is ridiculous. Four of the best pitchers in the game - Halladay, Lee, Oswalt and Hamels - on ONE team? This NL monopoly (along with Big Joe Blanton, easily another teams 2 or 3 pitcher) would undoubtedly lead a team of veteran superstars - Rollins, Utley, Howard, Polanco, Ibanez - to their 5th post season, clocking 95+ wins. See ya on Broad Street suckas!

With Werth selling himself to the Nats (along with any chances of another shot at a World Series), the Phils outfield needed to fill not only a position gap but one of their most consistent batters. Uncle Chaley and the front office seemed satisfied that they could easily fill Werth's position... Maybe Dom Brown would work his way as a permanent replacement?

As the boys showed up in Clearwater, with rabid fans ready for a season that would surely extend well into fall, the unthinkable started to happen... The Phils' kryptonite, the only thing that could possibly hinder our Broad Street Parade:


Injury after friggin injury throughout Grapefruit games. Chase Utley, not playing in one game leaves me shaking in my flip flops (and I'm not talking the way he usually does when he takes the field). Dom Brown, Placido Polanco, Victorino. Frankly friends, I'm a little scared.

I'm not saying that I don't think the Phils have a shot. Hell no. What I'm saying is, originally, we were a shoo in for a World Series. We were gonna best our 2010 97-W season. I believed the hype. Shit, I LIVED the hype. Kornhole will tell ya, we talked baseball each and every day. We needed our fix, we needed it quick.  And like most of Philadelphia, I too felt that anything short of a fall classic win would equate failure.

Right now, I'm a little more pragmatic with my 2011 predictions. We're hurt. Utley is facing a possible season ending injury (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!). At this point, its anyone’s guess as to what our lineup will be opening day.

What I do know? Our pitching rotation will need to work overtime, making up for what we will be lacking offensively (temporarily, I hope). Like others on this very blog, I think this could be Cole Hamels Cy Young year. Working alongside notorious work horses Halladay and Lee can only help Cole's focus on the mound. And the stuff he's been throwing in Clearwater? SICK. R2C2 should definitely help Big Joe too, in the same way as Hallday/Lee helping Cole. Learn by example big boy. Besides, I think it would royally suck to be the lone turd amongst 4 aces.

My predictions:
1.World Series: Phils and Red Sox
2. Phils win 93 games
3. Halladay 20 wins
4. Utley out for season
5. Sarge will wear one of those BIG ass hats those 2 dudes  in the stands wears ("what would make a guy want to wear a hat that big?" Sarge asked once...I have a feeling Sarge is gonna find out).

Keep the phaith guys. It’s not going to be as easy as we thought initially. It’s not going to be as smooth as we hoped. I'm not giving up on going to the series; I just don't think its going to be as easy as we all thought last December.
But it wouldn't be Phillies baseball if it were that easy now, would it?

Stay healthy, my friends!
Feel free to email me: diamondgirl215@philliesbunts.com


  1. There's a guy that sells those hats on the EL concourse at City Hall. There right next to the Muslim oils and incense, $15 bucks.


  2. I hope your wrong about Utley. I fear you may be right. Very nice work, keep bringing it DiamondGirl!

  3. i concur with most of our findings...

  4. wonders if cookie rojas could fill in for uts? nice piece!

  5. HouseOfFunkHausersMarch 29, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    I once had a hat that big. Sold it on Ebay to user named BarryLuvRoidzInSF. Wish I knew who that guy really was.

  6. you can have the red sox and phils and i'll take the field. wilson valdez will play 90 games in place of the older broken down utley (whose career might be over and by over i mean never the same as it was). halladay will get his 20 and chances are high that chris wheeler will not be fired.
    - holla from the 412

  7. I think that guy grabbed Placido Polanco's hat by accident.

  8. we should all poopie together