Friday, March 25, 2011

Predictions from the Hood

Hoodwink'd  by cj hood
thoughts & predictions for 2011

-Lee, Halladay, Oswalt & Hamels must BELIEVE THE HYPE!
-Howard will need to have more hits than Vanilla Ice & MC Hammer (combined).
-Michael Jack wants J-Roll to be more like Pete Rose and that doesn't mean taking the Reds 5 times and the under.
-Why did Amaro break kayfabe and sign Castillo?
-Many Trillo might see more time at 2B this season than Chase Utley!
-Chooch needs to maintain his MVP status (deserved it twice so far) and keep those 4 Aces under his sleeve.
-JC Romero needs to stay inside the bullpen.
-The Mets will continue to be a bigger disappointment than Tron 2.
-Mayberry & Gload need to stay loose during the 7th & 8th respectively. 
-Polanco's elbow needs some of that 6 Million Dollar Man type bionics.
-And we’re not the Yankees of the NL.  CBP’s beers are at least $2  cheaper…believe me I know!
-Howard needs to realize he doesn't get paid $121 million to 'look for the walk.'
-The Nats buying Jayson Werth was about as smart as Mel Gibson buying his girlfriend an answering machine.
-Like Rod 'the bod' Stewart swooned, Raul Ibanez needs to 'Stay Forever Young.'
-Ben Francisco needs us to say ‘Jayson who? ’ about 180X this year!
-No need to get Mad-son, cuz Ryan will continue to be so-so-so 'Solid As A Rock' in '11.
-Shane Victorino needs to step up at lead off cuz I don't think Jimmy will be there to long!
-Myers vs. Halladay on Opening Day will be like watching Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Hulk Hogan circa ‘84.
-Hey Lidge:  The entire MLB got the memo on your slider.  Change that ish up!
-Do you think Werth & McNabb met up at the local 5Guys for burgers & fries?
-D*Brown won’t be getting up todaaaaaaaaaay...cuz he'll be playing here in Allentown.
-Amaro needs to justify his 4 year extension and go get us a hitter!
-Wilson Valdez needs to continue to be the 10th man for 180 odd games.
-Cholly needs to keep his 'mind on his money & his money on a line-up' that'll deliver with RISP!!!
-Finally, when you see BB in the box score this season it’ll stand for Band-aids & Bubble wrap cuz that’s what the Phils will need to make it to October!

I love Cliff Lee, but the Phils needed to sign a bat…not another ace.  All the Phightins' would need to do is score 3 runs/game all season in order to win a World Series.  However, with Werth gone and not a solid bat to replace him I am optimistic about any destiny being fulfilled.  With that being said I predict the Phillies will 5peat as NL East Champs, but the chances of them winning it all are about as real as Glen Beck's tears.  Let get bunted!!!    


  1. Gibson & answering machine = classic! Hilarious piece!

  2. Lidge is starting season on DL to....bubble wrap posse!

  3. The Desolate One!!! THROW A PIC OF SCHOOLY D UP THERE!

  4. HouseFullOfFunkhausersMarch 25, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    Is that a pic of Just-Ice??? Nice. That's some serious old-school shiznit. I'm gonna go pull out my old Three Times Dope vinyl!

  5. Just Ice = Original Hip Hop Gangsta

  6. "Michael Jack wants J-Roll to be more like Pete Rose and that doesn't mean taking the Reds 5 times and the under."