Welcome to Kornhole’s Alley! Let’s get started!
PHILLIES OFFENSE! RELAX PEOPLE!
My ears are bleeding from people screaming about the offense. “This offense is terrible”. “This team can’t hit”. “This team can’t score runs”. You’d think Steve Jeltz was out there and Bill Clinton was shoving cigars up female rectums. This is not the late 80’s/90’s Phils. Relax!
This injury plagued Phils lineup currently ranks 6th in the NL in Average and 8th in runs. They are doing this without Chase Utley and Dominic Brown. As the team gets healthy they will score runs and hit the ball with a little more consistency.
You fans are spoiled. You guys have turned into Yankee fans. BOO HOO “We only scored two runs with Pete Orr, Mike Martinez, and John Mayberry in the lineup”. Stop crying. The Phils as of this writing have the best record in the NL and percentage points behind the Indians for the best record in the MLB. They are doing this without Chase Utley.
Stop crying! The offense will be fine. I have faith that RAJ will make the right move at the deadline to get the offense that may be needed. He’s aggressive and so is this team.
More importantly where the hell were the black people? The only blacks I saw were the players, and the folk we celebrated.
Bud Selig is a slob by the way. When he was sitting in the booth his tie was almost at his shoulder and his gut was sticking out like an 11 month pregnant woman.
Speaking of this slob! We need to start him in the 4th inning. I’d suggest using Kendrick in the 1st inning but he wouldn’t help. He’d actually give up more runs.
So, here’s my idea for Fat Joe’s turn in the rotation.
1st Inning: Bastardo
2nd Inning: Stutes
4th Inning on: Fat Joe
I guarantee a shutout every fifth day if Charlie thinks outside the box and listens to a Kornhole.
THE METS STILL SUCK
Not much to say here. I just wanted to point out that the jerkoffs from
Queens are in last place and things will be much worse. I hate their fans and look forward to them coming to the Bank again this season.
PHILLIES vs FLYERS/SIXERS
Tough schedule coming up! Cards,
Rockies and the AL Champion Rangers!
The week starts in
. This we all know is the home of Ryan Howard and when Ryan plays in front of the family he usually destroys the Cardinals pitchers. I think the Phils explode offensively against the Cards and come away with two wins behind some strong pitching from Phifer and the returning Oswalt. St. Louis
5-2 is a good record against some good competition. I’ll take that every week. Thanks for reading this week and don’t forget you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org