Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Valdez Coffee Beans!... Wait I Got a Better One

 To the nostalgic fans who think The Vet was a better ballpark, think again. Citizens Bank Park is as close to perfect as a ballpark can get. Great food, not a bad seat, and a playoff atmosphere every game. With all due respect to The Vet, it was a cesspool. The only thing that made it bearable is it was our cesspool. Everyone complained about how crappy The Vet was, now people act like they knocked down the Taj Mahal. They didn't.  One thing I do miss about The Vet was the 700 level fan clubs for Phillies players. I know there are still a few in CBP, Doc's Patients' (I like) and Howard's Homers (Ok). They pale in comparison to the quality and amount of fan clubs in The Vet. Who can forget the Wolf Pack? Probably the best and certainly the most loyal. We also had the Padilla Floatia. Alright, nice effort. The Millwood Militia, a stretch but ok.

The thing I enjoyed most about the fan clubs was when one would pop up for an obscure Phillies player. A perfect example is Sal Fasano. Sal Fasano played in 50 games for the Phillies in 2006. Yet he had not one but two fan clubs, 'Sal's Pal's' and 'Fasano's Pizano's'. I always wondered, did the Pal's and Pizano's get along? Or was it a heated rivalry? Too bad Sal Fasano got traded to the Yankees, I would have liked to see how that played out. We have some obscure players on this current team who need fan clubs, here are my thoughts.

- Orr's Whores....We had 'Burrell's Girl's', Pete Orr even wears the same number. There are plenty of skanky hoes walking around the park with nothing to do. Organize Ladies!

- Bastardo's Illegitimate Kid's....His last name makes this one too easy. They can stand above the bullpen and scream down, "Your our Daddy Antonio!" Seems like a natural, can't believe no one has come up with it yet.

- Hamel's Homo's....Admit it, you always thought Cole had a little sugar in his pockets. I love Cole, but not in a gay way. His little dog, his high pitched voice, his wife is a beard if there ever was one. Someone has to say it. He keeps pitching the way he is and he can be Liberace gay for all I care.

- Wilson's Castaway's....The ones above may be a little tongue in cheek but this one may work. Half the club can wear beards and the other half can wear Volley Balls for hats.

Feel free to add any other fan club names you may have.

Keep It Classy Philly!



  1. Valdez' Jackasses. They come out when he hits into a double play.

  2. Nice cjhood! Keep them coming.

  3. I saw 'Worley's Warriors' last night. I guess those kids read Phillies Bunts.