What’s up Bunters? Congrats on surviving Rapture Hysteria 2011. I KNEW the world wasn’t going to end last Saturday. Everyone knows God is a Phillies fan. He wouldn’t end the world with the CLEVELAND INDIANS having the best record in baseball now, would he?
I’m sure by now you know this already, but I just have to shout it from the rooftops:
certainly has missed you! Personally - I really, really missed you. You probably don’t remember me, but we ‘met’ a few weeks back. It was opening day and I had the luck of getting to be a part of the pre-game ceremony. You marched into CBP with the rest of the team but none of them mattered to me. You were what mattered. This was a moment I had been waiting for since you were called up in 2003. I was going to come face to face with Chase Utley. Philadelphia
I’m sure given the current state of the Phillies offense you were eager to jump back into the line up. The NL-leading Phillies hold an impressive 28-18 record as of Monday evening (1.5 up on the 26-19 Marlins) while getting set to start a 3 game series with the 25-22 “Sweepinatti” Reds (cute, Kornhole). What’s unsettling to me, darling, is the offense’s 12th ranked NL positioning. DB29 will undoubtedly tell me to “Relax; we don’t need no stinking offense”. But with the formidable pitching of both the Marlins and Braves (26-23, 3.5 back) I think the offense needs a little jolt. I hope you are the one to do it, as your presence and leadership amongst the Phillies is well known.
Welcome back, Chase Utley.
PS: Let’s just say for shits and giggles that maybe you have peaked (oh-God-please-no-because-you’re-a-Phils-fan-too-i-know-it). In the words of Bruno Mars: “You’re beautiful, just the way you are.”
PPS: The above statement is not on the behalf of the Bunts. It’s purely mine.