Hello everyone and thanks for yet again coming inside my Kornhole. Let’s get to the bidness.
CLIFF LEE vs JAYSON WERTHLESS
With that said, the player who replaced Werthless, one Clifton Phiffer Lee has fit in well offensively.
Now for all you Werth Lover’s (Not you Jen Utley) this may hurt your feelings but Phiffer has a better batting average in 2011 than the white Jose Reyes aka Werthless. Phiffer as of this writing was hitting .220 to Werthless .217!
The phenom the fans love to hate, the one and only, Captain Lazy; Domonic Brown is hitting.239 which is 19 points better than the 127 million dollar stiff.
Werthless has 10 dingers in 87 games while Doo Doo Brown has 5 in 42. I’ll take the brand new brother in town and his rookie contract over that stiff any day.
THE ALL-STAR GAME IS POINTLESS ANYMORE
Before Cable TV, Internet and the 24-7 media circus we live in today, baseball was the slow sport that captured the nation. It had 2 leagues with separate presidents, umpires, and rules. It was special when once a year the stars from both leagues would face off in a must-watch game.
There was no interleague play back in the day, so it was the only chance you’d get to see how well our beloved Mike Schmidt would do against a rookie phenom like Roger Clemens. It was important to not just the fans, but the announcers, the players and everyone else involved.
In order to vote you had to actually go to a game and punch a hole in a ballot, not vote online as many times as you’d like. Guys like Ryan Howard who promote the game with their amazing display of offense made the team regardless. It promoted the game watching people like Ryno face off against the best pitchers in the American League.
Free agency was still in its infancy so players were still loyal to their teams. Each year when you turned on the game you knew that Cal Ripken would have his O’s cap and that George Brett would sport his Royals gear, etc.
Today with all the transactions that include money dumps and free agency, you may see a team on the NL one year and playing for an
team on August 1st. It’s just not the same. AL
What was once a game of pride is now an exhibition narrated by two annoying announcers in Joe Fuck and Tim McCarvme!
Supposedly the players want to win so their respective league can win homefield advantage during the World Series. Hmmm!? If I’m whatever jerkoff representing the Orioles why would I care to help my bitter division rivals the Yanks or Sox get the chance to win another World Series.
Yeah, seems fair to me knowing that the rest of the country would rather see the Marlins represented by Gabby BLEEPING Sanchez than power hitting Ryan Howard.
MLB wonders why the All-star game’s ratings have been in the tank the last few years!
POST ALL-STAR ROTATION
#1 Doc Halladay for obvious reasons! He is the best pitcher in the game. The guy has more complete games than entire team staffs. Doc is a throwback and a poor performance for him is giving up 4 runs. He’s the ace without question!
#2 Cole Hamels is better than Lee. The surfer has the best ERA on a staff of aces. If it weren’t for the city performing oral sex on Lee 24-7 we would realize that the ONLY WORLD SERIES MVP on the staff is the much better pitcher.
#3 Cliff Lee gets the third slot. On most teams he’s the ace, or at the very least the #2. On this staff he is the #3. That’s how special this rotation is. It’s like a sore dick you can’t beat it.
#4 Vance Worley has earned the 4th spot for now. I’m not sold on him one bit. I sniff a little Garrett Stephenson/Kyle Kendrick in this kid, but he has pitched well. With the rotation banged up thanks to injuries to Fat Joe and the animal activist himself Roy Oswalt; Vance has pitched very well and he’s earned this spot the rest of the season or until he gets banged up and I rip him in a future piece.
#5 Fat Joe/KK! I like Fat Joe. The fat ass pitches well in the second half of the season, but we need to make sure our long reliever in the playoffs is healthy down the stretch so skipping starts here and there may not be a bad idea. Of course, when Lil’
… err… Wayne comes back both of these guys may be picking splinters out of their asses. Roy
IF SOME JERKOFF FROM THE M’S GOT #3000 WOULD ANYONE CARE?
INSIDE THE KORNHOLE WITH DOMONIC BROWN
JK- So, you do nothing?
DB- My mom asks me to do chores but I get out of it. Who wants to do that?
JK- Do you workout on your off time?
DB- I just lay around watching TV.
JK- What’s your favorite past time?
DB- I love to lay down and do nothing.
JK- Do you do anything productive?
DB- I like the money, but I hate getting out of bed or off the couch to go play it.
JK- Where would you like to be in five years?
DB- In my bed.
JK- Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
DB- I’m going back to sleep.
THIS WEEK IN PHILLIES FUTURE
That’s it for this week. Thanks for coming inside my Kornhole and I’ll see you next time. Remember I’m looking for my FIRST email from one of you. Kornhole@philliesbunts.com