Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Social (Bunts) Network

As an avid sports fan, today (as in the day following the MLB All-Star game) is like hell on Earth. There ain't shit going on. I know the US Women have a World Cup semi-final game but it comes on in the morning and besides, unless Hope Solo is going mimic Brandi Chastain, the Wriz could care less.  If you've been a faithful reader of the Wriz you may remember last year I gave you a glimpse of what goes on in the social networking lives of my famous MLB related friends. Even though several Facebook friends deleted me for exposing their status, it was less friends than I lost when i got drunk and exposed "little Wriz." So once again, some of my Facebook friends and their status updates during the All-Star break:

Jose Contreras I hope to be activated soon.
       Jay Wrizight You're not hurting anymore.
       Jose Contreras Hurt? Nah, man. I was laying low. Trump was asking for
                                  birth certificates.

Cliff Lee I can't believe they used the DH last night. I'm swing a hot bat right now.

Roy Halladay Disappointed I threw 5 balls last night.
       JC Romero I can show you how to throw more.
       Roy Halladay I know.

Carlos Ruiz SI cover!

Derek Jeter Using the break to get some rest.
       CC Sabathia We gonna hang out?
       Mariano Rivera Yeah that sounds like fun.
       Bud Selig Don't forget to invite me.
       Jay Wrizight STFU Pussies!
       Bud Selig Even me?
       Jay Wrizight Especially you

Michael Stutes Back from the hair saloon anybody wanna come over and watch Never Say Never?

Antonio Bastardo Screw David Robertson, I'm the best high socks pitcher in MLB.
       Jay Wright No Doubt!

Joe Buck Sorry for my lame announcing last night I had a cold.
       Jay Wrizight More like McCarver juice stuck in your throat.
       Joe Buck How'd you get on my page? I never accepted you as a friend.
       Jay Wrizight Haha you set it up as a fan page. I noticed you didn't deny
                              my accusation.
       Joe Buck It doesn't deserve to be acknowledged.
       Jay Wrizight Or maybe you don't want to hurt Tim feelings.
       Tim McCarver You don't understand
       Jay Wrizight I understand you get the backdoor Slamma Lamma Ding Dong!

Mike Zugerski Triple A All-Star game tonight!
       Dave Herndon LOL!

Chase Utley Crazy Fucking Bitch hacked into my Facebook account!
       DiamondGirl Who did? I'll beat their ass!
       Jen Utley why won't this bitch leave us alone
       DiamondGirl who? Am I missing something?
       Chase Utley yes
       Wayson Jerth Jen its (you know) call me
       Jen Utley LOL .215!

Bill Scardefield I think I finally found the one!
       CJ Hood Pre-nup my man pre-nup!

Joe Blanton Looking forward to the second half, I always dominate
       Danys Baez Good Luck man! Who are you playing for now?
       Joe Blanton The Phillies, man
       Danys Baez really?

Michael Martinez Hopefully I can finally get these bloggers off my back with a 4 hit game.
       Jay Wrizight Not Likely
       Jimmy Rollins BTW  1999 Jimmy called he wants his look back!
       Jay Wrizight hahahhahahaha Young James!
       Jimmy Rollins Yo Wriz lemme get a discount on a Phillies Bunts tee
       Jay Wrizight hahaha no hometown discounts
Ryan Madson I hope my wife won't give me a hard time when its time to head back to Philly.

Justin Timberlake @ Joe Buck I lied I was drunk

Jay Wrizight Thanks all the Phillies Bunts fans, You guys are awesome.
       Big Ragu still pissed i wasn't invited to the meet and greet

See ya on the Internets!

Jay Wrizight


  1. The JT/Joe Buck thing was hilarious. Justin was definitely drunk. I don't know what was funnier, his "Joe Buck you're doing a great job" or "beer is perfect" line.

  2. No mention of how Bochy used Halladay, Lee & Jurrjens for 2 innings each while his pitchers chilled on the bench? I may need a 'Spot Start' rant.

  3. Pre-nup! Why dinna I think of that?

    Bill AKA/netfather