Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Don't Get Too Close to my Fantasy

I wanted to write this article for a few weeks, but with the timing of the blog, it just didn’t work out that way. Since DiamondGirl mentioned the 1st 3 games of the season and I see no reason to go in-depth on Cole’s fiasco last night, I will share it now.

A few weeks back, I got the annual phone call. The time and place were decided upon and it was time for our fantasy baseball draft. WAIT! Hold on. Don’t tune out. I promise this won’t turn into a snooze fest about what a great team I put together or how I got shafted out of such and such a player.

I don’t remember if it was after 5th period Biology or 6th period History class when my friend, Jim, told me about this cool concept where you pick you own team of Major League players and you keep their real stats to determine who could build the best team. I was in.  He had bought a book entitled "Rotisserie League Baseball." It was by the guys who invented the game. A chance to prove I had a superior baseball mind to that of my friends and classmates? I was in for sure.

We followed the rules set forth in the book to the letter of the law. Auction style draft. 4x4 categories. Same positions etc etc. Our core group, except for a 3 or 4 year hiatus, has been intact and competed in fantasy baseball for 21 years. I know you have heard me complain about people spouting on about fantasy baseball during Phillies games, but I do enjoy it, but realize the guy seat 3 seats over could care less if I traded Will Venable for Skip Schumaker.

Or should I say, I DID enjoy it. Sure things have changed since 8 high school kids first passed around one book as we tried to assemble a team that would dominate the world. We had to buy the USA Today and do the stats by hand with pencil, paper and a Texas Instruments calculator!  Since then, we adjusted rules and added categories. We started calling it fantasy baseball because we got tired of explaining what Rotisserie Baseball was. We worried more about 401k’s than Randy Johnson’s K’s. Dental plans caused more problems than having Denys Reyes on your pitching staff. So what changed? The fucking internet.

Don’t get me wrong the internet has it purposes like the ability to access tons of useful information, getting a wife (BTW, DB29 the check bounced. I got a call from Moscow. Sasha has to be back on a plane by midnight or some ex-KGB guys will be knocking on your door) free porn, email and did I mention…..buffering……buffering…. FREE PORN? But it has ruined fantasy baseball for me. No longer do you need to watch the games or research the incoming rookies. Just go online. Someone will give you a breakdown of the Top 1000 players along with their projected numbers for the upcoming season, month or week. Want to get the guy who is the replacement closer for the guy who just blew out his arm? Too late the jobless guy who trolls the darkest corners of the electronic highway picked him up before the trainer made it on the field.

I used to do one or two random leagues and the cream of the crop aka the “Ashburn in the Hall League” (Yes, that’s how long it’s been. The Great Richie Ashburn had not gotten inducted yet.)  Now, just the Ashburn league (It has since been renamed) and nothing else. It’s more about getting together with old friends for the draft and laughing about old times than putting together a pitching staff that could make even Ruben Amaro Jr. drool.

See at the ballpark!

Jay Wrizight


  1. Your just salty because Senor Octobre is in last place as of last night...And Bryson's Big Boppers were in first. I know it's still early, I should have taken a picture of the screen.

  2. BBB maybe the dumbest fantasy baseball name in history. HISTORY! And besides I moved up 2 spots this morning. Its roto scoring and the first week. You are an idiot.

  3. Cole came up with that name. I like 'Triple B'. It took you this long to figure out I'm an idiot?

  4. Hamels was my first pick...true story!

  5. ZzZzzZzzZzzzzzzzzzzz

  6. Average, but most years out league comes down to injuries and who landed the suprise players.

  7. ragu it hurts when you say such things, almost as much as when they cancelled Laverne and Shirley.

  8. hamels and blanton got me dirt. oswalt came thru, but i won't have him next week cuz i traded him. i did pick up Belt based on a hot tip from this blog!

  9. I agree with dabig ragu...ZZZZZZ. And I'm in the same league as The Wriz! I promise Phillies Bunts readers I will never mention Fantasy baseball again.