Friday, April 22, 2011


Hoodwink’d    by cj hood
Schwing! (da f’in bats!)

-Dykstra’s in such bad shape Bono wrote a song about him.
-Oswalt threw his back out and Romero threw the game.
-2 things I guarantee this July: DB29’s farmer’s tan & Chooch in the All Star game.
-Dobb’s finally figured out the RBI thing….2 years too late.
-Milwaukee hasn’t been this much of a threat since Arthur Fonzarelli joined the Falcons.
-if Obama shows Trump his birth certificate, he should at least get to tug at Trump’s hair.
-Shhh.....the Phils bats are sleeping. 
-Sam Rothstein’s Ace’s High was more entertaining than our 2 Aces this week.
-Charlie Sheen is to Lenny Dykstra as Roy Halladay is to R.A. Dickey.
-yo hide…it’s ‘Big Perm!’
-how ‘bout those NDA Playoffs (No Defense Allowed).
-I haven't seen ‘polish power’ like Tulowitzki’s since Ivan Putski graced the squared circle.
-it’s actually pronounced Mil-waw-kee.
-domo arigato Mr. Joey Votto….domo, domo.
-Enough with the Utley updates…let me know when he’s playing and batting .333.
-Romero's hurt, but I ain’t even mad yo!
-Dubee dubee doo…
-time to get Orr in the mix!
-back to back losses?  I haven’t been this upset since Kiss took of the makeup (and then put it back on).
-not to be outdone by the Wriz, next week I’m interviewing the ‘happy’ towel I keep under my bed.
-big ups to Prince James for freeing up some airtime on CSN.
-to my Catholic friends, remember today’s really about the slow, horrific, agonizing death of…the Mets.
-Milwaukee is Algonquin for “ass whoopin”
-I told my wife I needed twenty $1 bills for Hatfield Dollar Dog Night…she wasn‘t buying it.
-let Polanco bat clean up!
-Ricky Weaks!
-I should be watching game 1 of the Padres series, but I don’t have TCN.
-I felt bad about the Romero joke after watching Kendrick pitch.
-Shane’s World! Homerun time! Excellent!  (last one….promise.)
-Dykstra couldn’t get a loan from the Bank of Haiti.
-get your hand off the fuckin’ panic-button….let’s get bunted!!!


  1. Da Big Ragu update: the phillies won 3-0.Oswalt pitched great.

  2. The line about your 'happy' towel made me fall out of my chair. Great stuff!

  3. Much obliged. I just pirouetted across the pizzeria floor.