Schwing!

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood

Schwing! (da f’in bats!)

-Dykstra’s in such bad shape Bono wrote a song about him.

-Oswalt threw his back out and Romero threw the game.

-2 things I guarantee this July: DB29’s farmer’s tan & Chooch in the All Star game.

-Dobb’s finally figured out the RBI thing….2 years too late.

-Milwaukee hasn’t been this much of a threat since Arthur Fonzarelli joined the Falcons.

-if Obama shows Trump his birth certificate, he should at least get to tug at Trump’s hair.

-Shhh.....the Phils bats are sleeping. 

-Sam Rothstein’s Ace’s High was more entertaining than our 2 Aces this week.

-Charlie Sheen is to Lenny Dykstra as Roy Halladay is to R.A. Dickey.

-yo hide…it’s ‘Big Perm!’

-how ‘bout those NDA Playoffs (No Defense Allowed).

-I haven't seen ‘polish power’ like Tulowitzki’s since Ivan Putski graced the squared circle.

-it’s actually pronounced Mil-waw-kee.

-domo arigato Mr. Joey Votto….domo, domo.

-Enough with the Utley updates…let me know when he’s playing and batting .333.

-Romero's hurt, but I ain’t even mad yo!

-Dubee dubee doo…

-time to get Orr in the mix!

-back to back losses?  I haven’t been this upset since Kiss took of the makeup (and then put it back on).

-not to be outdone by the Wriz, next week I’m interviewing the ‘happy’ towel I keep under my bed.

-big ups to Prince James for freeing up some airtime on CSN.

-to my Catholic friends, remember today’s really about the slow, horrific, agonizing death of…the Mets.

-Milwaukee is Algonquin for “ass whoopin”

-I told my wife I needed twenty $1 bills for Hatfield Dollar Dog Night…she wasn‘t buying it.

-let Polanco bat clean up!

-Ricky Weaks!

-I should be watching game 1 of the Padres series, but I don’t have TCN.

-I felt bad about the Romero joke after watching Kendrick pitch.

-Shane’s World! Homerun time! Excellent!  (last one….promise.)

-Dykstra couldn’t get a loan from the Bank of Haiti.

-get your hand off the fuckin’ panic-button….let’s get bunted!!!