Friday, April 8, 2011

Hoodwink'd: Playboy Edition

Hoodwink'd  by cj hood 
valdez, ibanez, baez, trump for prez?
-Phillies/Red Sox World Series?   They got it half right.
-Halladay, Lee, Oswalt…’nuff said
-Chuck Cunningham had a better run on Happy Days than Castillo did with the Phils.
-Utley’s knee is about as reliable as Fox news.
-I think too many people slept on my ‘Night Before Opening Day’ opus.
-more satisfied fans at Charlie Sheen’s Detroit show than at the ‘Nats home opener.
-MLB Extra Innings could get the bozack for blacking out the Phils games!
-John Mayberry is so very / that hit in the 9th was a bit scary!
-Miami is where old people go to retire.  Tampa Bay is where has been players go to die a  
 slow death.
-I know we’re only 1 week deep, but it seems like Rollins took a trip w/Doc in the
 DeLorean.
-sweeping the Astros was easier than one of those Teen Mom 2 chicks.
-Is appendicitis contagious? 
-the ‘Bunts need some swag and not like those Citizen’s Bank Seven ragz!
-Right Field ‘Roni….the Ben Francisco treat!                                                                               
-if Lee married a Real Housewife he’d be a Yankee now…Mrs. Lee is one classy broad!
-1st game against the Mets felt like a COLE-N-OSCOPY!
-the Red Sox couldn’t get runs drinking water from Mexico.
-when Chooch let one slip by I shed a tear like that Indian who cried over pollution.
-yo Service Electric…get TCN…I missed 2 games this week!
-booing Cole Hamels??!??   get off the bath salts bro!
-I liked the “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option” tour when it went by 
 it’s original name….the Bonds perjury trial.
-Big ups to the Women NCAA Bball Championship game for lulling me to sleep after the 
 loss to the Mets.
-Shout out to Howard, Francisco & Ibanez for hitting the long ball! 
-Soriano relieving Sabathia is like Ultimate Warrior tagging in Playboy Buddy Rose.
-I’m looking forward to Blanton sticking his tongue out at Werth while he’s on base.
-watching the Phils on the internets is like watching scrambled porn…the action’s too slow 
 to get excited about.
-apparently the appropriate time for my wife to dust off the computer desk is when I‘m typing Hoodwink‘d.
-LOL @ 11-0.
-I‘ll tell the fan in Right Field what I told my Reverend….quit grabbin‘ da balls!
-Phils are 5-1.….Let’s get bunted!

7 comments:

  1. HouseOfFunkhausersApril 8, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    A "COLE-N-OSCOPY"? ....They say the baseball season is long, looks like the blogging season is gonna feel even longer. Oye vey.

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  2. Your Hit! With the Flyers & Sixers both making the playoffs more Phillies games will be moved to TCN. Had to deal with the same situation with Verizon a few years ago.

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  3. HouseOfFunkhausersApril 8, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    These idiots that interfere with the game never cease to amaze me. I'm not so sure that woulda been an out if fan interference hadn't been called. Looked like it bounced right off his palm in the glove.

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  4. I thought Cole-n-oscopy was good, it's one of the best things on the internets.

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  5. @HOF: Cole-n-oscopy is comedy gold...they're not all homeruns.

    @DB: is TCN a philly channel? cuz i don't get it here in the stix.

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  6. HouseOfFunkhauserApril 9, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    That's gold Jerry! Gold!

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  7. pissed i missed this piece!!!! classic lines my friend classic!!!

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