Dear Hoody Part Deuce

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood

Dear Hoody Part Deuce

A few weeks ago I asked the faithful Buntamaniacs to submit some mail and I’d try my best to respond to each and everyone.  I received so many queries that I decided to split this piece into 3 parts…a trilogy if you will.  See here for Part 1 cuz you won’t understand Part II unless you read Part 1 (ie Star Wars/Empire Strikes Back and not Caddy shack I & II). Enjoy.                                          

Dear CJ:

Polanco’s batting average has taken a dip as of late.  Do you think he still has a shot at making the All Star team?

Frank R.

Philly

Frank:  Polanco’s still has a solid lead at the 3B spot for the NL.  I’m glad it was his hand that got plugged 6/21 and not his bionic elbow.  Regardless, despite the dip, I feel the fans will push him through and you’ll see him in AZ come July.

-h

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Yo Hoodlum:

I’m very tense and need to relax.  How do you personally unwind?

gracias,

Ozzie G.

Chi-town

Blizzard of Oz:

I’ve seen your handy work and I concur that you‘ve ‘done gone crazy.’  Here’s an easy 3 step process that may help you from going AWOL!

a.  jim beam

b.  self pleasure

c.  repeat

-hood

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CJ:

Where the hell have I been?

J. Blanton

Fat Joe:  

I’ve been wondering the same thing myself.  They don’t mention you or even show you in the dugout.  You should start wearing that old XFL jersey “HEHATEME.”

-cj

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Hi Hood:

What’s grosser in your opinion: passing around a turkey leg in “King’s Court”, the Card’s bullpen or being inside Kornhole’s alley?

R. Smith

Cherry Hill, NJ

R:  

I’d have to say the turkey leg.  You’d think the people of Seattle with their Starbucks & fancy raincoats would have enough sense not to pass around Hepatitis via a bird’s leg.  Besides, that 43min 8th inning was just a fluke and Kornhole’s alley has wall-to-wall shag carpeting and serves those black corn chips and red pepper hummus…I love that ish!

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Hoodwink’d:

I need to get something off my chest and since not a lot of people read this blog I thought this would be the perfect place. You in?

Orenthal James S.

Up In The Mountains

Orenthal:

spit it son!

-cj

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Mr. Hood,

I sent Diamond Girl a lock of my back hair…do you know if she got it?

@chriswheeler on Twitter

wheels:

that’s gross bro!

cj

Self plug:  If any Bunters are from the Allentown area I’ll be doing standup at the Wisecrackers inside of the Ramada on Sat; June 25 @ 9pm.  Also, starting Sun; June 26th (and every other Sunday) I’ll be co-hosting an internet radio show from 8pm-10pm @ http://drockradio.com/ …let’s get ‘bunted!!!