Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Working Stiffs

Its kinda funny that when I was mulling over ideas to use for my blog today, I thought about comparing rooting for the 2012 Phillies to going to work. You go to work to you HAVE to and in many respects if you’re still watching and rooting for the 2012 Phillies its because you HAVE to because you’re a “lifer.”

JRoll’s AB in the second inning was like the Phillies season in a nutshell. He hit a pop-up which went foul that David Wright could have caught. Then he hits a pop-up to the first base side foul that Daniel Murphy should have had. Then he hit a pop-up to very shallow center.

Not much has gone right this year, and there’s not much to look forward to. One of the few bright sports had been Chooch but he’s hurt. Or Galvis but his 50 game suspension for PED’s took away any excitement I had about the kids future. It looked like the most likely September call ups would be mostly ho-hum names like Valle, Gilles, Hernandez and not who everyone wants to see as in Darin Ruf AKA Babe Ruf or Tyler Cloyd.
Ruf after he tied Howard's single season HR record for Reading

Ruf has dropped more bombs than a Real Housewives reunion show. (What up, Hood?)  He’s 26 and still only in AA but fuck it 37 homers is 37 homers. Cloyd is 15-1 with an ERA of 2.26 overall this year with the majority of the work in AAA. The big knock on the kid is he has “no stuff” but fuck it Vincente Padilla had the best stuff on the Phillies staff for 6 years. He was never more than 3 games over .500. I’ll take intestinal fortitude over “stuff” any day.

Which reminds me, speaking of work, Hamels called out sick today. Cloyd got the call and will be on the bump tonight. I got to see him pitch a few weeks ago in Lehigh Valley. I thought he came as advertised he did what he needed to do. He did give up 2 homers. Moon shots to be precise. But both solo shots. It’ll be interesting to see what his “stuffless” repertoire can do in the bigs.

Tonight, will be like casual Fridays. Yeah its still work just a little less dreadful.

See ya at the Ballpark!

Jay Wrizight

Monday, August 27, 2012

Journey 2

Hoodwink’d by cj hood
Journey 2
Just a small town girl…livin in a looooonely world. She took the midnight train going annnnywheeeere! Is it time to put the rally caps on? Or have you ‘Stopped Believing?’ The bandwagoners seemed to have Escaped their seats at CB Park, while the Faithfully still show up with Open Arms. The only sellout CP Park will see in the near future is when the Boss hits the stage Labor Day weekend (despite what Wheels & T*Mac tell ya). On the plus side, you can get Phils tickets off of StubHub for less than $5. The only cheaper show in town is a live reading of one of Kornhole’s screenplays in Fairmount Park.
Besides tickets going for cheap…merch sales have also suffered. When I was my sons’ age it was the Schmidt, Rose & World Series era. Phils gear was abundant in my hood (2 hrs outside of Philly). Then their gear disappeared quickly when they started to stink only to make recent resurgence.
It’s also tough to write a blog about a team that’s stinkin up the joint. Doesn’t J*Roll know his pop-ups directly effect Phillies Bunts FB ‘likeability?’ The last time Diamond Girl wrote a blog Lance Armstrong was 7 time Tour de France champ. It’s tough to peddle a blog about a team that’s in last place.
But the good news is they’re back…sort of. They’re in 3rd place and few wins away from being 500. It’s tough to be excited when we’re used to them being the champs of their division. Still their recent success might mean more asses in the seats, an increase in merch sales and more love for this fine blog.
A few ep’s ago, I compared this Phillies season to last year’s Eagles where they came on strong a little too late. Their play since going Separate Ways from Blanton, Vic & Pence has been reminiscent of season’s past. Irregardless (ya, you know…) this team has been fun to watch. They’ve dominated the Gnats all season even when they were sh*ttier than a Todd Akin apology. The only team to really have their number this season has been the Braves. The Mets are more of a hot mess than Snookie’s baby and the Rockies never bounced back from those June wild fires. We’ll see both those squads this week. That’s a good thing. #amiright
I love Kratz & Frandsen #nohomo. And I like D*Brown (Not like-like, but like). They’re just a couple of kids who hunger for playing time and some MLB success. Hell, even John Mayberry Jr is bringing it! BTW don’t use JMJ when you’re talking about Mayberry. There’s only one JMJ #rundmc #rip Even the fat cat overpaid veterans are getting it done. I’m still not sold on Jimmy at lead-off, but what’s the alternative?
We know they’re not going to win the NL East, but can they make the wild card? That’s the Cliff (finally won @ home) hanger that’ll keep most of us interested until it’s mathematically impossible. Although I buried this team weeks ago, I think there might be a chance of a resurrection with the right voodoo..the right mojo. As long as they continue to phight…I will continue to watch. The bullpen is finally coming through…let’s get ‘bunted!

Friday, August 17, 2012


Hoodwink’d by cj hood

Last week I read the Phillies Eulogy and despite winning almost every series they’ve played since All Star break they’re still dead. No chance of coming back and getting jiggy wit it ala 2Pac or Biggie. They’re not necessarily dead in wins, but dead in ‘heart.’ And once the heart goes it’s over bro…peace out homie. Just ask Elvis.

J*Roll should be renamed Keiser Roll cuz Netfather Bill with his pacemaker & walker could give more of an effort than Jimmy (see Wriz article J-Walk) can. On Tuesday, the bullpen produced more runs than a Taco Bell breakfast. Last night was no different, when the bullpen ‘got scared of the guy in shades – oh yes’ and Hart went for yard scoring 4. 

But like I said last week, it seems that our beloved Manuel would have difficulty managing in the WWE where the moves are all scripted. There’s a reason they call them managers and not coaches in the MLB. IF AN ACE IS DEALING, LET THEM GO TIL THE 8th AND THEN BRING IN PAPP! Should we trade Cholly & RAJ for a box of urinal cakes? Well should we?

I think most Philly headz have switched gears to Eagles mode (I have…sorta). While others are replacing their Jesus’ statues with Bynum bobbleheads. (That press conference was embarrassing…get a grip kids.) Which leaves the ‘Buntamaniacs crying and babbling like Tra Thomas at a noon showing of Bambi. Ya I said it.

With a decent bullpen and some Triple A managing our team could easily be a Wild Card contender. Brown, Kratz & Frandsen have been producing as well as expected. Halladay & Lee started coming around. Utley’s back…Howard’s good for one hit a week. We’re in there like swimwear! But alas…that’s not the position we’re in.

I guess in hindsight, the Blanton move was the one that hurt the most. With KK out of the bullpen we’re exposed like DB29 in a medium sized Incubus tshirt. Blanton as well as Pence & Vic are gone and we got little in return. Which obviously means more major moves must be made (how’s that for alliteration?). We need to get back into autopilot mode, so the biggest decision Manuel has to make is Hubba Bubba or Bubble Yum? Wait til next week when the Big Red Machine comes to town. We used to be Reds killers #Hamels. But now, the cast of Reds (Beatty, Hackman, et al) could give us problems. At least we’re winning series…let’s get ‘bunted!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

That’s how I J-Walk

I understand the baseball season is a marathon and not a sprint. I get it. It’s not how I ever played or will ever play. Not baseball. Not hockey. Not fucking tiddlywinks. If it’s a competition, I’m in it to win it. This is the reason I like Chase Utley more than Jimmy Rollins. Don’t get me wrong I’m a JRoll Fan. He’s silky smooth with the leather and has an arm like a bazooka. There’s never been a better fielding shortstop in the National League since he’s been in the majors. Dude should have at least 8 Gold Gloves by now. But…..he’s stubborn with how he wants to swing the bat which I could live with…. if he wasn’t being such a lazy piece of shit!

Its all over (Facebook, TV, sports radio) today how Rollins not once but TWICE gave less than sufficient effort running out a ground ball yesterday verse the Marlins. 97.5 played the Marlins radio call of the first (lack of) effort. The announcers initially assumed JRoll was hurt but then realized he was dogging it and mentioned that “Rollins will probably be sitting down with Charlie Manuel to discuss his effort.”

Frequently when Jroll hits a routine grounder, he will not give maximum effort down the first baseline, but enough that if there is a bobble or errant thrown he’ll be easily safe. I’ve always been willing to let that slide, but this is different. It’s like he’s given up on the season. The game was still in doubt when both instances happened. I know it’s been a tough season only the SweatHogs have had a tougher year, but they still have a chance. It’s slight but still a chance. $14 million should buy enough effort until you’re mathematically eliminated. Even more important with the number of rookies and players with minimal ML experience Rollins is SUPPOSED to be a leader.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, when he was called out by a fan on Twitter, he got awful cocky:

I mean he could have tried to offer an explanation or hell just ignored it, but really? Its insult to injury. Borderline “For Who? For What?” type shit. For Jimmy’s sake, I really hope it was just a bad day otherwise we are in for a long rebuilding process.

See ya at the ballpark!

Jay Wrizight

***PS-- Back to School luch bag day was cancelled after Parents made know their fear their children would lallygag to school

Friday, August 10, 2012

The Eulogy

Hoodwink’d by cj hood
The Eulogy

I’d like to thank everyone for coming today in this most difficult time. It’s nice to see the Bunt’s family in attendance: Netfather Bill in his beautiful powder blue tux; Diamond Girl looks lovely, and yes the wine is not for parishioner consumption. Of course the Wriz is here with the widow DB29. I hope I could keep my composure as I honor the deceased.

(Pulls out paper, unfold it, wipes eyes & clears throat.)

To tell you the truth I had a difficult time putting all the Phillies ’12 season highlights into writing. No matter how hard I try, I can never do justice how much this team stunk. I know we are all grieving today for this lost season. But I know wherever they are now (Philly or LA) they’re laughing at us and counting their cash.

This team meant something special to all of us. I’m sure each and every one of you here today has something to share on how last year’s National League East Champs touched your life. There are some good memories, especially with me, the Bunts Meet & Greet II. We shared lots of things together through Kurt & Robin’s excessive Facebook posts. I don’t know if I can still be the same person I was now that the season is (seemly) over. I can remember the last series sweep; I thought it was the start of something good. As some of you already know we had a lot of injuries this year. Although Chase & Howard returned, they still came up short.

Ruben Amaro Jr is a very stron willed person. You overpaid for a 1st baseman who's about as reliable as a strw bridge. Then, you continued to pass out contracts like you were using Monopoly money. Solid pitching is obviously important, but bats win games. When we were at out peak, Cholly was on autopilot. But when we're playing MLB ball with Triple A players, Charlie would be out managed by Bobby "the Brain" Heenan.

Although they didn’t get to the playoffs, at least we’ll have the Eagles to watch (until Vick gets hurt in Wk 1). We may not see them in October but we’ll always have these special moments we shared with them. The Phightans will always have a special part in our hearts. Let’s just be thankful that we had 2008. Amen.

BREAKING NEWS: Ruben Amaro Jr arrested on the murder of the ’12 Phillies. Eugene & Kornhole are on the scene with an impending report.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

All Good Things Must Come To An End.


After watching the Phillies get smacked by the Braves again, I needed something to take the edge off. The Rockies/Dodgers game was just starting. What better way to chill on a summer's eve than to hear Vin Scully call a game? His voice is pure baseball, think Harry the K without stupid Wheels adding his worthless two cents. Scully does all Dodgers home games solo. He doesn't need help, he is a baseball encyclopedia, plus the best play by play guy in all of sports. There was a controversial call on a possibly trapped fly ball. Jim Tracey went absolutely bat sh!t crazy when the umps reversed the original call of a catch. Watching the super slow mo instant replay, Jim Tracey was right. The funny part was how Scully translated Tracey's tirade. Tracey said, "F'in horse sh!t!", Vin saw it as "Bleepin' fertilizer!". Classic Scully. I also got to see Shane Victorino end a Dodgers loss with a pop out in the infield. Ahh, the memories. I get carried away with my praise of Vin Scully. Something else during that game caught my attention, it was Fernando Valenzuela bobble head night.

The Phillies sell out streak ended last night at 257. Let's all give each other a round of applause. But, that's over now. I'm interested to see how the Phillies Promotion staff steps up their game next year. They have been on a 5 year vacation. Other than bobble heads what is the last good giveaway night you can remember? I haven't got a decent hat on Father's Day since the bucket hat, that was like 2007. WB Collectable Truck night? It's plastic and made in China. I have been to a handful of road games and got better giveaways. An umbrella at New Yankees stadium. A seat cushion and sunglasses at Citifield. A very nice replica batting practice cap at Nationals Park. A very wearable visor at Fenway Park. I have been a partial season ticket holder since CBP opened. The giveaways are lame and this year they screwed up the only decent giveaway night they have, bobble head night.
Here is an idea. Instead of having 2 bobble heads of current (or possibly traded prior to) players, how about an alumni bobble head night? The Phillies Wall of Fame night is pretty lame. What if the Phillies gave out a bobble head of this year's inductee? At this point I would rather have a Mike Lieberthal bobble than a Hunter Pence. Maybe more fans would get into Wall of Fame night with a decent giveaway. God knows no one is going to put up that lame ass print they give away. The Phillies Promotion Department should just steal ideas from other teams at this point. If the Phillies stink as bad next year at least spare me from the Charlie Manuel Baseball Tin.

Keep It Classy Philly!