Ssshhh…we’re winning

Hoodwink’d                       by cj hood

Ssshhh…we’re winning.

 

 

WATCH THIS WHIFF BRO!

 

So rumblings of the Phils being a ‘selling team’, a lil pow-wow courtesy of Cholly & Rubes and all of sudden we win the series against the Pirates, Braves and (maybe even the) ‘Gnats! Oh snap!  Is this for realz or just fool’s gold?  Time will tell I guess, but as of now we’re winning and all of my ‘Buntamaniacs have their own opinions on what’s behind the surge.  So, what does the H*Double think put the Phight back into our Phightans?  Like my Italian uncle would say….tree tings!

 

3.  Ryan Howard to the DL:  A lot of people only believe in God when bad things happen.  This is similar to the relationship the Phils organization has with the Big Piece.  We have to start him (no el platoono) and bat him clean-up or bad stuff will happen.  Well, the sacred cow is on the DL, so we could all breathe a sigh of relief.  He’s dead weight bro and I guarantee whoever takes his spot in the lineup (Ruff, Mayberry, Frandsen) will not (consistently) strike out as much as Howard did.  Based on the latter alone this team has already improved.  Plus, Downtown Dom Brown now gets to bat clean-up and rightfully so.

 

2.  Ole King Cole:  Cole is on a FI-YUH!  Well sort of, but he has won 2 in a row.  His game against the ‘Gnats was superb which included bailing himself out of some sticky situations.  I guess pushing him back really did work.  Now that our #1 Ace is sorta kinda back we now have that 1-2 (#Lee ) punch we need.  Don’t forget Lannan looked sharp to, so now we just need KK to get his ish together.

 

1.Ben Revere:  He did it like this…he did it like that…he did it with a league issued bat!  Word to my 40oz!  Hitting is contagious, so with Revere being on fire Young, J*Roll and even D*Young are slowly following suit.  And don’t forget about Utley and the aforementioned Brown.  Could the offense be better?  Hells yes!  But posting 5 runs should be enough for our starters to solidify a win!  Anyone still miss Vance Romance?

 

So what do we do at the deadline?  I think we should sign Utley if the price is right.  I think if Rollins gotta deal then Utley definitely needs some consideration.  I know he’s injury prone, but he’s a solid bat and the face of the franchise.  He’s the Derek Jeter of the Phillies…losing him would hurt this team on so many levels. Once that deal’s done get some bullpen help.  If that involves trading M*Young or Chooch then so be it.  I love Chooch, but a juiceless Chooch is like a Playboy without the centerfold.  Once those 2 things are done I think we’ll be alright.  If the offense & Cole continue to produce and with Halladay & *cough* Howard coming back I think we could give the Bravos a run for their money.  And if the total opposite happens then fire RAJ immediately, just don’t blame me cuz I’m only a jackass off the internet.  Follow me on twitter @therealcjhood…let’s get ‘bunted!!!

Howie (does not go) Long

Hoodwink’d        by  cj hood         
Howie (does not go) Long                   

The Wriz recently texted me and asked me if I was still down with the B-Team…like there was any doubt.  I’d never go the way of DB, Kornhole and Diamond Girl.  I’m a ‘Bunter for life.  I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing that I was leaving my legions of ‘Buntamaniacs (and/or Robin) starvin’ like Marvin’ for a Hoodwink’d blog.  So, here I is…back at the azz like Preparation-H.  Now prepare yourself to be put on blast!!!

 

RODNEY DANGERFIELD NEVER HAD TO EXPLAIN HIS JOKES!

FYI fellow ‘Buntamaniacs…when you see a disparaging post on Spacebook about Ryan Howard (or as my wife calls him Ron Howard) I’m the one that most likely posted it…so chew on that!  And while you’re busy dissing me on my sarcasm or lack thereof, keep in mind that your boy Howard bka Lil Opie Cunningham has the 5th most strikeouts in MLB.  That’s your clean-up hitter kids and this ish is mad weak!  Sarge called his swing pathetic when they got thumped by the Marlins 14-2 and later went on to say that ‘he’s in a slump’ during the current series with the Indians.  So stop boo hooing at the H-Double…numbers don’t lie bro!  He hit a game winning double in Arizona and half of Philly became semi-flaccid…that’s sad.  Again, he’s got a fat contract and hitting in the 4-hole…a game winning double should be the least we should expect.  He has no business batting clean-up, drop his ass to 6 or 7.  I hope we don’t end up selling in July, but I think it’s inevitable.  However, one thing is for sure….you’re boy Howie will be a Phightan for many years to come due to RAJ’s open check book.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy on a personal level (#nohomo), but Paper Lace (Google it) cranked out more hits ‘mang!  Show some pride Philadelphia…better yet recognize my award winning (BOTY ’11) sarcasm and gut busting wit:

 

 

I HAVE MORE FAITH IN THIS GUY IN THE 4-HOLE!

 

Now that I’m done putting my peeps on blast (I still love you ‘Buntamaniacs!) It’s time to focus on the positives.  We went out West and were more successful than DB29 was when he tried to be a soft porn actor (all his movies were very tasteful) (he doesn’t even read this blog anymore so who cares).  Frandsen, Brown and even Mayberrys’ bats are getting hot!  Pettibone’s making Halladay look like Hamels via Qualls.  We’re slowly clawing our way up the NL East standings. And last, but definitely not the leastest, the oily sausage is almost done pickling just in time for Meet & Greet III:  Netfather Strikes Back!  I’m looking forward to seeing my fellow bloggers (all 2 of them) including the Wriz’ shitty beard and riding around the K lot on Bill’s Segway.  Hopefully it stays dry and the Phils get the W…let’s get ‘bunted!

The Big Piece Gets No Love

The Big Piece Gets No Love

Happy Independence Day Bunters!  I hope your BBQ's, Pool parties and beach days find you well.  Independence Day, when our founding fathers flipped England the bird and said "We got this".  In the spirit of this holiday I would like you all to help me fix a wrong.  Let's have an independent thought. Let's not agree with the Phillies fan base that bashes its greatest player.  You have all heard it, "Howard strikes out too much", "Howard isn't clutch", and “How could Howard take that called 3rd strike in the NLCS?”  He has been, by far, the best position player during this run.  Sorry, DiamondGirl, Howard is number 1. Chase is a distant 2nd.  Most, so called, fans fail to realize we have a stone cold Hall of Famer playing here. Here are the numbers to prove it.

Ryan Howard has played 6 full seasons now.  Remember, he came up in the middle of the 2005 season, played 88 games and won the Rookie of the Year.  He has averaged 45 Home Runs during that span.  45 Home Runs!  Mike Schmidt, the franchises all time best position player had 2 seasons of 45 Home Runs or more.  Ryan Howard has also averaged 136 RBI during his first 6 seasons.  Mike Schmidt's best RBI season was 1980, he had 121.  Michael Jack had 7 seasons of 100+ RBI. Howard already has 5 seasons of 100 or more, not counting this year.  I'm not here to bash Mike Schmidt; he was the best player the Phillies ever had, till Ryan Howard came along.  Like Howard, Schmidt wasn't appreciated while he was here.  He got slammed for striking out too much.  He also got knocked for hitting Home Runs that didn't matter.  The fan base did not embrace Mike Schmidt till he got close to 500 Home Runs.  Then everyone realized he was a great player.  Howard seems to be getting the same treatment.

How will Ryan Howard's numbers look when his career is over?  If he keeps this pace, he will end up with 630 Home Runs.  That's 45 Home Runs over 14 years.  That would put him tied for 5th with Ken Griffey Jr.  He would be ahead of Frank Robinson, Harmon Killebrew and Reggie Jackson.  His RBI total works out to 1,904 that would be good enough for 8th place all time, ahead of Willie Mays, Ted Williams and Carl Yastrzemski.  His slugging percentage is currently 14th best at .564.  He's ahead of Stan Musial, Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle.  Ryan Howard will end up ahead of some pretty good names in a lot of offensive categories.

Spread the word Bunters.  Ryan Howard is a Hall of Fame player.  He's our Hall of Fame player.  We don't get many in Philly.  Don't be the last to realize what we have here. The next time you hear someone say "Howard's a bum", you can hit them with cold hard stats.  Give the Big Piece the love he deserves.

Keep It Classy Philly!

DB29