View from the Left Coast by a Lefty - Iambic Pentameter

Iambic pentameter is a commonly used metrical line in traditional verse and verse drama. The term describes the particular rhythm that the words establish in that line. That rhythm is measured in small groups of syllables; these small groups of syllables are called “feet". The word "iambic" describes the type of foot that is used (in English, an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable). The word "pentameter" indicates that a line has five of these "feet."

These terms originally applied to the quantitative meter of classical poetry. But for our purposes, fuck poetry. I want to relate it to more like 50 feet and belong to our boys in red pinstripes. Ever since HP3 arrived our "feet" have been circling the bases on a greater level, due in no small part to him and his speed and energy. Tack on his hitting and slugging and voila' it's rubbed off on the entire team down to the bullpen. Seriously, when is the last time any of you remember an adrenaline rush like the one flowing from the dugout now? Result: 9 inna row bitches and a complete game after the beatdown and scrum! LOL!

But more on the "feet"... once again we lead MLB in stolen base percentage. Now, we don't have to lead in steals because we have the best balanced lineup in all of baseball as well. I don't even mind that Perlozzo doesn't hold a stopwatch on the field anymore. Davey Lopes has taught the entire organization the importance of the SB. While I miss him down there and wish we had kept him, at least his philosophy hasn't missed a beat. Once again, I mention HP3 because his presence has brought energy and speed to the entire team. Of all of the last 3 7/29 acquisitions, I consider Pence the best overall and the best fit. We now are playing and acting like the 08 series team. I cannot tell you how important that feels to me being 2500 miles away and still being able to FEEL it daily.

I don't wish predict anything yet, but goddamnit we now have an offense that approaches the BAM offense of 08. Meaning... in any given inning, with any given player, and with any amount of outs, nobody can count out the Phils. Ever. *THAT* is what gave us the edge back then from SB to BAM to 8 run rallys to ring ceremony and parade. And now we have new "feet" to keep us Flyin around the basepaths when the ball isn't flyin outta the park. I feel it out here, I hope to shit you all feel it back there. Fuck it, let's go eat!

                        Bill S aka/netfather

*****Editor's Note**************

Bill S is one of Phillies Bunts favorite "Spot Starters"! You too can write for the Bunts just hit up the Wriz @ jaywrizight@yahoo.com!

Also could HP3 arm candy be the reason behind the pep in the Dugout's step?

Sing a Song of Hunter Pence

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood

Sing a Song of Hunter Pence

LIL ROY, LIL ROY, LET ME IN!

-I went to see Lil Roy pitch in Scranton on Monday…I’ve included some pics.

-Phils haven’t lost since acquiring Pence!

-This weekend’s the test.

-I think Mayberry’s our future left fielder.

-Big ups to the Wriz & DB29 for their sympathy comment each week.

-Howard should buy Pence a car for the pitches he’s getting now.

-Does Rubes work for the Eagles too?

-It’s going to be a World Series/Superbowl year in Philly…you heard it here first!

-my grand pappy retired and moved to Pence-acola.

-Utley’s nickname should be “Son of Charlie Hustle”

WILL HE BE OUR LF NEXT SEASON?

-Phils celebrated Shark Week by attacking Pirates.

-Love Rubes & his trades, but you ever get the feeling that the Phils are America & the Astros are China?

-I caught a foul ball at the Pigs game that Oswalt pitched.

-I’ll wrap you with my cane you Pence-’ll neck geek!

-I haven’t been this excited over a Phils season since that 18-wheeler filled w/porn overturned on my street.

-RIP HighTower.

-Pence-Sylvania Polka!

-I wore my Bunts shirt to the Pigs game, stood on their dugout & played a game, but still no new ‘fans.’

-get Wriz drunk and ask him for the ‘cob on the stick.’

-why don’t my kids ever use the bathroom at the public pool?

FREE PUBLICITY!

-why on Stub Hub are standing room tix for Phils around $30, but for Eagles they’re over a $100?

-I got my Pence-il…give me something to write on man!

-there’s a Facebook page called “Shut Up Wheels”

-congrats to Lidge on his 100th save in a Phils uni!

-Costanza’s working on the Pence-ski file!

-bye bye Braves!

-Why couldn’t it have been Proctor?

-Arod’s all-in with a 2,7.

-the Rockies haven’t looked this sissified since John Denver sang about them.

-we’re winning the Giants series this wknd….let’s get ‘bunted!

ROY STORY

The Art of the Deal?

Welcome to August Bunters!

After spending the past week on the beaches of Sea Isle City, I am ready for all things fall. I don’t know about you, but I am SICK of this damn heat.

But enough of my bitching, lets get down to ‘bidness.

What a wild and wonderful 2 weeks it has been since we last met! Between the MLB trade deadline and the NFL opening camp, keeping up with the newest team additions in Philadelphia has been quite a lot of fun - if not time consuming. I have to thank the heavens for the invention of Twitter, because it kept sitting on the beach for hours without my Kindle entertaining. My timeline was filled with rumors of where Carlos Beltran was heading or what offer Ed Wade declined in a move for Hunter Pence. It’s funny when you look back, reading what the “insiders” were revealing and even more so when you realize how much of the reporting must have been bullshit to stoke the fire for a trade.

My dad had called me over a week ago saying that the St. Pete Times sports writers all but had B.J. Upton in Phillies pinstripes. “It’s a done deal, Squeak” he said. Adding Upton to the roster definitely would have been a positive pick up for the Phillies, but I hadn’t heard Upton’s name discussed seriously in the Philly papers or amongst the ESPN insiders . I kept insisting that RAJ was after Beltran or Pence – not Upton – but my dad was so adamant that I had to wonder if there was something behind the scenes, maybe a failsafe offer should Beltran or Pence not become a feasible acquisition. Who knew what Ruben could pull off prior to 4:00 PM Sunday, July 31^st.

As the week progressed, Phillies fans would learn that Carlos Beltran would sign with the Giants, leaving Hunter Pence as THE righty to go after. After Houston rejected the first offer for Pence, it looked that the Phillies front office had lost in the race for #9 and began to “look elsewhere” for a suitable RH bat to add to the roster. Suddenly, another name had popped up on the radar of ESPN insiders like Jon Heyman and Buster Olney: The Phillies were to go after B.J. Upton of the Tampa Bay Rays. “Ain’t THAT some shit” I said to myself.

It seemed suspect at first, as the Rays front office is known to be notoriously quiet. I don’t exactly have much esteem for the St. Pete Times sports writers (really, they suck) but how would they have gotten hold of this story so early in the week when the Phils were very vocal on talks for Beltran or Pence? What the heck was Ruben up to? Did the Phillies ever really consider trading for Upton or did the mere rumor of talks with the Rays help reignite the fire for a trade for Pence?

Who knows what happened behind closed doors that Friday afternoon/early evening. While I sweated my ass off that night at the Union’s PPL Park in Chester, I just happened to take out my blackberry and log into my Twitter. I must have immaculate timing because within one minute of perusing my timeline the ESPN guys began to tweet that Hunter Pence was now a Phillie.  All I could think to myself was “Damn, Ruben strikes again!” The Discovery Channel may have scheduled ‘Shark Week’ to be this week, but Phillies fans can agree that Shark week began in Philadelphia on Friday, July 29^th.

There was a really good article last week in the Daily News by former Governor Ed Rendell regarding the place of rumors in not just politics but in sports. To paraphrase, Rendell stated that sometimes it is necessary to start false rumors to achieve what a politician or sports team really wants. I couldn’t help but to think that maybe this was something the Phillies had tried to do. Maybe they never planned on looking elsewhere. Maybe the rumor of potential talks for Upton was enough to get Houston willing to renegotiate a trade for Pence. However it happened, Hunter Pence to the Phillies allowed Ruben to close out the 2011 trade deadline with a career 3 for 3 record of getting his man. In Ruben we trust.

I was fortunate enough to spend my 33^rd birthday at CBP Saturday, welcoming Hunter Pence to Philadelphia as I sat 8 rows off 1^st base. Though Pence was unfairly called out at 1^st,  the smile he had on his face was intoxicating. You couldn’t help but feel as excited FOR him as we were to HAVE him. In the words of Roy Halladay, the season is only about to get FUNNER. Oh yeah, and sweeping those dang Pirates was pretty exciting too J

Have a great week!

-xo

DiamondGirl215

DiamondGirl215@philliesbunts.com

PS… YES. My dad calls me Squeak. That doesn’t mean I am allowing anyone else too.

Kornhole's Alley: Hunter vs Carlos Edition

Thanks for coming into my Kornhole. The aroma inside the Kornhole fumes of awesomeness. The Phillies went out and got Jayson Werth 2k11, so let’s get to bidness.

Pence vs Beltran

First and foremost I HATE Carlos Beltran! He is a scumbag Met as far as I’m concerned. I wanted nothing to do with this guy. I understand he’s having a good year but to me he’s a Met. I know some of the greatest ex-Met’s turned Phillies have become some of our favorite Phillies heroes like Lenny, the Tugger and MTV Rock and Jock superstar Roger McDowell but I hate this batch of Mets more than any other. If Jose Reyes got anal cancer tomorrow and died of a poop over dose I would be happy.

With that all said I do believe the Phillies got the better player for this team. Hunter Pence to me is exactly what this team needed and he’s under club control for the next two years.

I know it’s to early to tell since Pence debuted on Saturday but here are the numbers for the two players since acquired.

Beltran 2-19, 1 run, 1 rbi, 6 k, 1 bb, 11 lob

Pence  3-9, 2 run, 1 rbi, 1 k, 1 bb, 6 lob

That’s not including the 23 million dollar real estate mogul actually learning how to hit to the opposite field the other night and single handily destroying the Pirates. The aqusition of Pence makes pitchers think twice about walking Howard to get to the next stiff in line. Pence is a solid player and perfect for this team. I actually like him better than Werthless and think this deal could be the deal that is the difference maker.

JOE BANNER STEPS INTO THE KORNHOLE

JK – Hi Joe. Welcome to my Kornhole!

JB – Thanks Kornhole. It’s my pleasure to be in Kornhole’s Endzone!

JK – It’s Kornhole’s Alley, kinda like Ashburn Alley. Get it?!

JB – Nobody cares about Ashburn alley. Phillies won a world series people got excited for a bit, but this is an Eagles town. Don’t believe me? See who get’s higher ratings when we go head to head.

JK – The Phillies actually beat you in head to head ratings last year.

JB – That was last year. It was a fluke. We went out and got Babin, Vince Young, the guy from the Raiders who wants to act, this is our town.

JK – Um. Yea. Since this is a Phillies blog, I wanted your thoughts on the Phillies chances now that they have Hunter Pence in Right Field.

JB – I hope they lose every game from here on out. This is our town. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!

JK – Thanks for screaming that in my ear. Now tell me, do you think the Phillies arms can take them to the next level?

JB – The only arms Philadelphia fans are concerned about, are those belonging to Vince Young and Ron Mexico.

JK – Who?

JB – Next question!

JK – Huh?

JB – Learned that from an agent I know.

JK – Thanks for coming into my Kornhole.

JB – E-A-G… (Punches him in head knocking him out)

THIS WEEK IN PHILLIES FUTURE

The Phils embark on the final west coast swing of the season. They face the Rockies and Giants.

I like 2 of 3 from the Rocks and then splitting with the Giants. The Giants have our number right now, but I do feel by the time we get to the playoffs the Phillies will have the Giants number.

Thanks for coming into my Kornhole. Talk to you next week. Pop my email cherry at kornhole@philliesbunts.com