The Wriz predicts 2011 (Spoiler Alert)

As the 2011 MLB season is about to get underway, the bookmakers in Vegas are getting anxious. Fantasy baseball managers are getting impatient. And maybe most importantly, the readers of this blog are frustrated as the Wriz has not let known his predictions for the upcoming season. Well fear not and read on.

As DB29 referenced in his article, the Wriz was pretty spot on last year. I’m not gonna lie, I had a few 900 phone line offers. But, alas, the Wriz never disappoints and my readers don’t get a recorded message. You get some misspelled words and poorly constructed sentences that can change a Vegas line before you reach the final punctuation mark. With that being said, I will preface this by saying I did so well last year I fully expect to shit the bed this year. So for amusement purposes only:

NL MVP: Albert Pujols, St Louis Cardinals. He’s in a contract year. He’s the best position player in baseball and he will do what’s necessary to get his due.

NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, Philadelphia Phillies. Last year, I said he was the best pitcher on the planet on the best team in the National League. That may only be half right this season. I thought when Tim Lincecum won the award in 2009 it was mainly because the 2 best pitchers (Carpenter and Wainwright) split votes because they were on the same team. This year, the Phillies, Giants and Brewers all have multiple candidates. Clayton Kershaw could be a dark horse to watch.

NL Rookie of the Year: Freddie Freeman, Atlanta Braves. The NL rookie class is nowhere close to the depth of the AL. Brandon Belt, of the Giants, may be his only real competition….if he’s makes the team.

Breakout Player: (tie) Tommy Hanson, Atlanta Braves. I expect he will win at least 17 games this year.  Jay Bruce, Cincinnati Reds. If he bats .270, he’ll hit 30+ HR’s. If he bats .290, he hits 40 bombs.

Biggest Disappointment: Jason Heyward, Atlanta Braves. I believe injuries and the sophomore slump get the best of the big kid.

AL MVP: Adrian Gonzalez, Boston Red Sox. He is the definition of a professional hitter. When he’s not battering the monster with line drives, he’ll take full advantage of the Pesky Pole.

AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez is quickly gaining on Halladay as the best pitcher in baseball, but “The King” will need to wait to claim his 2^nd Cy. I think after back-to-back seasons where the winner had 16 and 13 wins, the 2 fewest totals ever, it will take 18 or more wins to take it. The Mariners don’t have the line-up or the bench to support him. I was going to take Jon Lester, but DB29 did and he’s a mush. (Pu em in da bathroom!) So….David Price, Tampa Bay Rays.

AL Rookie of the Year: Jeremy Hellickson, Tampa Bay Rays. There are more than a few others who could win this award, but Hellickson got a head start when he impressed in a brief call up last season.

Breakout Player: Delmon Young, Minnesota Twins. Not everyone will forget about the bat throwing incident in the minors, but Twins fan will be talking about his numbers instead.

Biggest Disappointment: Ian Kinsler, Texas Rangers. He’s the Chase Utley of the AL…except he’s hurt EVERY year. This year will be no different.

NL Playoffs: The Phillies will make the playoffs, it just may be as the Wild Card team if they can’t shake the injury bug. Joining them will be the Braves, Rockies and Brewers. The Phillies best the Brew Crew. The Braves oust the Rockies. And the Phillies return to the World Series in 2011.

AL Playoffs: The Red Sox, White Sox and A’s win their divisions. The Yankees get the Wild Card. The A’s bomb the Bronx and Red Sox best Chicago. The Red Sox dominate the A’s to make the World Series.

World Series: I’m a homer, but I’m also a jinx. Red Sox win in 5.

Miscellaneous Awards:

Best New Trend: MLB GM’s bring up 20 year olds that can get the job done. (i.e. Mike Stanton and Jason Heyward)

Worst New Trend: MLB GM’s experimenting with young pitchers and not letting them know their role (i.e. Alrodis Chapman, Neftali Perez, and Chris Sale)

Ron Burgundy Award: Josh Hamilton and Miguel Cabrera are the odds on favorites. One finishes 2^nd in the MVP voting. One wins this award. One has a chaperon. One has a translator who can’t say, “Put the scotch away, the police are coming,” fast enough. Cabrera wins.

The “Who’s the Boss” Award. Named for Alyssa Milano, who dated the entire 2003 Marlins starting rotation, is now off the market and needs a replacement for most famous baseball groupie. Eliza Dushku has dated Brad Penny. Her career is in the shitter. Hopefully she’ll realize the error of her ways, dump Rick Fox and follow in Alyssa’s footsteps and give it up for Max Scherzer.

So that’s the run down. Let’s Play Ball!

See ya at the Ballpark!

Jay Wrizight

 jaywrizight@yahoo.com

The Most Interesting Predictions in the World

These are the facts:

Last December, Ruben Amaro stealthy executed one hell of a coup d'etat on major league baseball. All the talk of a "mystery" third team fed to Phillies junkies on facebook and twitter lead to one long, cold night until the confirmation was smacked down on local news and sports center (though sadly, ESPN felt the news about washed up Brett Favre was much more interesting).

"Could it be??" we anxiously asked. Could Ruben do the unthinkable, get Philadelphia their beloved pitcher Clifton Phifer Lee back? Were the Rangers going to allow themselves to lose their Ace? Were the deep pocketed, aging Yankees going to once again do what they do best - shell out a ridiculous offer impossible for any player to refuse? The answer my friends is YES. The Rangers lost an Ace, the Yanks tried to whore Lee to New York with an insane offer but unbe-LEE-vably Clifton Phifer chose to once again come 'live from the 215'.

 What Ruben Amaro Jr managed to accomplish in his short tenure as Phils' GM is ridiculous. Four of the best pitchers in the game - Halladay, Lee, Oswalt and Hamels - on ONE team? This NL monopoly (along with Big Joe Blanton, easily another teams 2 or 3 pitcher) would undoubtedly lead a team of veteran superstars - Rollins, Utley, Howard, Polanco, Ibanez - to their 5th post season, clocking 95+ wins. See ya on Broad Street suckas!

With Werth selling himself to the Nats (along with any chances of another shot at a World Series), the Phils outfield needed to fill not only a position gap but one of their most consistent batters. Uncle Chaley and the front office seemed satisfied that they could easily fill Werth's position... Maybe Dom Brown would work his way as a permanent replacement?

As the boys showed up in Clearwater, with rabid fans ready for a season that would surely extend well into fall, the unthinkable started to happen... The Phils' kryptonite, the only thing that could possibly hinder our Broad Street Parade:

Injury.

Injury after friggin injury throughout Grapefruit games. Chase Utley, not playing in one game leaves me shaking in my flip flops (and I'm not talking the way he usually does when he takes the field). Dom Brown, Placido Polanco, Victorino. Frankly friends, I'm a little scared.

I'm not saying that I don't think the Phils have a shot. Hell no. What I'm saying is, originally, we were a shoo in for a World Series. We were gonna best our 2010 97-W season. I believed the hype. Shit, I LIVED the hype. Kornhole will tell ya, we talked baseball each and every day. We needed our fix, we needed it quick.  And like most of Philadelphia, I too felt that anything short of a fall classic win would equate failure.

Right now, I'm a little more pragmatic with my 2011 predictions. We're hurt. Utley is facing a possible season ending injury (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!). At this point, its anyone’s guess as to what our lineup will be opening day.

What I do know? Our pitching rotation will need to work overtime, making up for what we will be lacking offensively (temporarily, I hope). Like others on this very blog, I think this could be Cole Hamels Cy Young year. Working alongside notorious work horses Halladay and Lee can only help Cole's focus on the mound. And the stuff he's been throwing in Clearwater? SICK. R2C2 should definitely help Big Joe too, in the same way as Hallday/Lee helping Cole. Learn by example big boy. Besides, I think it would royally suck to be the lone turd amongst 4 aces.

My predictions:

1.World Series: Phils and Red Sox

2. Phils win 93 games

3. Halladay 20 wins

4. Utley out for season

5. Sarge will wear one of those BIG ass hats those 2 dudes  in the stands wears ("what would make a guy want to wear a hat that big?" Sarge asked once...I have a feeling Sarge is gonna find out).

Keep the phaith guys. It’s not going to be as easy as we thought initially. It’s not going to be as smooth as we hoped. I'm not giving up on going to the series; I just don't think its going to be as easy as we all thought last December.

But it wouldn't be Phillies baseball if it were that easy now, would it?

Stay healthy, my friends!
-xo
DiamondGirl215
Feel free to email me: diamondgirl215@philliesbunts.com
SEE YA FRIDAY AT CBP!

Predictions from the Kornhole

In honor of Jesse Jackson, I will dedicate this week’s KORNHOLE’S ALLEY to Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder. For those of you not familiar, the Greekster was amazingly inaccurate at picking games but he was very good at letting us know the history of the Black Athlete.

I know everyone’s picking the Phillies to win the World Series. Why would you not? This team has 4 aces and Fat Joe. This team has the most expensive singles hitter in the history of baseball. It has a leadoff hitter who reminds me of this guy who runs like Hayes, but hits like shit.

This team should rip through the NL East and the only thing stepping in their way is Dr. Andrews and the freaking knife. So, I will go out on a limb and say the Phillies will go 163-0.

This is not a typo. The Phillies will go undefeated. This team is so good they will win more games than they play. (There is a first for everything).

Now that the team prediction is out of the way, let us take a look at the individual statistics I see from this team.

Home Runs – Josh Barfield 143

Jessie… err… Josh will come in and replace the injured Shane Victorino. It’s going to happen in San Diego. The corner outfielders and the bench will all injure during the game. This will leave the Flyin’ Hawaiian to man the outfield himself. Trying to cover the outfield himself Shane-O will go down for the season with a torn ball sack.  The next day our boy Josh will get called up and he’ll hit a Homerun in every game the rest of the season.

Average - Pete Orr 1.000

Pete Orr like his long lost Boston Bruin uncle will be a force to be reckoned with. Pete’s an amazing talent and shouldn’t be overlooked. I see him coming up and replacing Placido Polanco sometime in late June. Polanco will miss the rest of the season after coming down with extreme frost-bite after a game in Florida in front of 37 fans.

RBIS – Rob Quinlann 324

Never before has one man averaged 2 RBI’s per game. Rob Quinlann is no ordinary man. Rob will replace Ryan Howard on Opening Day after Ryan Howard strikes out looking to a Brett Myers curveball. It’ll be unfortunate but Ryno will miss the remainder of the season when we learn that the he can’t blink. It’s all due to his eyes being stuck open.

WALKS – Hunter Pence 324

Hunter will come to the Phils in a blockbuster trade with the Astros at the halfway point after the team loses Ben Francisco Treat and John M(G)ayberry in the same game against the Boston Dead Sox.

Francisco will strain his eyelid after sleeping on his eye in a weird way. Mayberry will miss the season after eating too much food and eventually losing to Joe Blanton in an all-you-can eat contest at the team’s luncheon prior to the game.

In desperation Ruben will do what he always does. Allow Ed Wade to walk all over him. Ruben will send highly touted prospect Brian Schneider to the Astros for Hunter Pence. Hunter will finally learn patience and average 4 walks per game over the final 81.

WINS - Ryan Madson 81

I know! I know! Ryan’s not a starter. The Phils will have to score a lot of 8^th and 9^th inning runs to go 163-0.  

The entire bullpen will be lost for the season besides Adam Eaton… err… Danys Baez and Ryan Madson. The starters will go 7 strong. Baez will give up runs to lose the lead in the 8^th and Madson will shut’em down in the 9^th. Think people think!

ERA – Wilson Valdez 0.00

You thought Wilson only bails out the lineup and be-friends Tom Hanks? Au contraire! Wilson can do anything. That includes pitch.  He will give us seven strong every day after the entire rotation gets hurt in May.

There you have it. My individual and team predictions for your 2011 Phightin Phils! This will be a team like no-other. I read somewhere that 116 wins was an unattainable record.  They’ll smash that record at Dodger Stadium on August 10^th in their 117^th game. Below is the boxscore for the Phils.

       CF Dykstra 2-6

                    1B Quinlann 2-6, 2 rbis

                 2B Young 2-6, 11 sbs

3B Orr 9-9

                 LF Barfield 2-6, 3 hrs

     SS Young 2-6

    RF Pence 0-0

C Ruiz 2-6

   P Valdez 4-4

I know some guys may seem out of position but trust me; they can do whatever is needed to win. Check out the pitching lines.

Valdez 7IP, 0ER, 21SO, 0H, 0BB

  Baez 1IP, 12ER, 0SO, 12H, 36BB,

Madson 1IP, 0ER, 3SO, 0H, 0BB

It’s going to be a fun season Phils F(ph)ans. So don’t sweat the fact that we’ve already lost Utley, Dombo, and Lidge… we’re going to lose everyone else too… but not a game. That includes an extra 11 wins in October.

Thanks for reading Kornhole’s Alley. Now go vote on the 2^nd Round of the Most Ridiculous Phillies contest.

You can Email me at kornhole@philliesbunts.com if you’re dumb enough to disagree with me and think the Phils will lose a game this season.

It's Crystal Ball Time!

I knew when the world famous Jay Wrizight was starting this blog he would require a predictions piece. Last year, he wrote one for another blog and it was scary accurate. Some of the nuggets he dropped were:
- Roy Halladay would win the NL Cy Young Award. Not going out on a limb there but he got it right.
- Felix Hernandez would win the AL Cy Young Award. Much more impressive.
- The Boston Red Sox would stink up the joint and miss the playoffs. The whole world pencils in the Sox and the Yankees every year. I guess he knew they would be decimated with injuries.
- The truly scary predictions, the Texas Rangers would win the AL West and the San Francisco Giants would win the NL West. We go way back Wriz, the PowerBall and Mega Millions are way up there, can you help a brother out? Lay some winning numbers on me!

I don't expect to come close to that kind of clairvoyance. So for what it's worth, here are my 2011 predictions.

- NL Cy Young, Cole Hamels. Cole had a nice bounce back year last year, this year he takes a huge step to become an elite pitcher. 20-7 with 232 strikeouts with a 2.78 ERA.

- AL Cy Young, Jon Lester. Lester will be the other 20 game winner in the Majors this year. He will check in with 22 wins.

- NL MVP, Albert Pujols. It's his contract year, plus he's Albert Pujols.

- AL MVP, Robinson Cano. He had a career year last year, but if he comes close to the same numbers this year the NY media will find a way to give him this award.

- AL playoff teams, Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Anyone else think that's a stupid way to market that team?) The New York Yankees will take the Wild Card.

- NL playoff teams, Fightin' Phils, Milwaukee Brewers, San Francisco Giants, St Louis Cardinals will take the Wild Card.

- World Series, Phillies vs. Angels, with the Phillies winning a 7 game classic.

One thing I do know is the Citizens Bank Park experience, so here are a few stone cold mortal lock predictions.

- Someone sitting near to you will say "Where is Jayson Werth?"

- More than 1/2 the people in attendance will not realize the Jumbo Tron is new.

- A visiting team home run ball will be thrown back on the field. A ball girl will pick it up and hand it to a kid who has better seats than the idiot that threw it. It's a Wrigley field tradition people, let's stick to our traditions like Taser boy.

- The Mets fans will slither out in the 7th inning when they are getting a beat down.

The over/under for TastyKakes I will consume at the park is 19...You should probably take the over.
 

Keep It Classy Philly!

DB29
 

Predictions from the Hood

Hoodwink'd  by cj hood

thoughts & predictions for 2011

-Lee, Halladay, Oswalt & Hamels must BELIEVE THE HYPE!
-Howard will need to have more hits than Vanilla Ice & MC Hammer (combined).
-Michael Jack wants J-Roll to be more like Pete Rose and that doesn't mean taking the Reds 5 times and the under.
-Why did Amaro break kayfabe and sign Castillo?
-Many Trillo might see more time at 2B this season than Chase Utley!

-Chooch needs to maintain his MVP status (deserved it twice so far) and keep those 4 Aces under his sleeve.

-JC Romero needs to stay inside the bullpen.

-The Mets will continue to be a bigger disappointment than Tron 2.

-Mayberry & Gload need to stay loose during the 7th & 8th respectively. 

-Polanco's elbow needs some of that 6 Million Dollar Man type bionics.

-And we’re not the Yankees of the NL.  CBP’s beers are at least $2  cheaper…believe me I know!

-Howard needs to realize he doesn't get paid $121 million to 'look for the walk.'

-The Nats buying Jayson Werth was about as smart as Mel Gibson buying his girlfriend an answering machine.

-Like Rod 'the bod' Stewart swooned, Raul Ibanez needs to 'Stay Forever Young.'

-Ben Francisco needs us to say ‘Jayson who? ’ about 180X this year!

-No need to get Mad-son, cuz Ryan will continue to be so-so-so 'Solid As A Rock' in '11.

-Shane Victorino needs to step up at lead off cuz I don't think Jimmy will be there to long!

-Myers vs. Halladay on Opening Day will be like watching Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Hulk Hogan circa ‘84.

-Hey Lidge:  The entire MLB got the memo on your slider.  Change that ish up!

-Do you think Werth & McNabb met up at the local 5Guys for burgers & fries?

-D*Brown won’t be getting up todaaaaaaaaaay...cuz he'll be playing here in Allentown.

-Amaro needs to justify his 4 year extension and go get us a hitter!

-Wilson Valdez needs to continue to be the 10th man for 180 odd games.

-Cholly needs to keep his 'mind on his money & his money on a line-up' that'll deliver with RISP!!!

-Finally, when you see BB in the box score this season it’ll stand for Band-aids & Bubble wrap cuz that’s what the Phils will need to make it to October!

I love Cliff Lee, but the Phils needed to sign a bat…not another ace.  All the Phightins' would need to do is score 3 runs/game all season in order to win a World Series.  However, with Werth gone and not a solid bat to replace him I am optimistic about any destiny being fulfilled.  With that being said I predict the Phillies will 5peat as NL East Champs, but the chances of them winning it all are about as real as Glen Beck's tears.  Let get bunted!!!    

Five Guys & A Ball…..

With much anticipation over the upcoming 2011 baseball season; it is with great honor that I present to you, my 2011 Philadelphia Phillies season predictions. 

There are many aspects I take into consideration while making my predictions.  It is a finely tuned recipe. Part intuition mixed with part statistical analysis and a dash of common sense.  My handicap is typically (+/-) 3 games. (ie..for 2010 I predicted 96 wins, they finished the regular season with 97)

Pitching:

We have an amazing rotation, thank you Captain Obvious!  We are coming into what will be a historical season. I am betting on each of the Aces to carry a 20+ win season and each to maintain a < 2.61 ERA. Allow me to break the pitching down:

 

Halladay: Two time Cy Young winner, the man is a machine. Everyone worries about his stamina after pitching 250 innings last season.  Please!  Have you seen this guy?  The only reason he broke a sweat during his perfect game in Florida was because of the humidity.  Meanwhile, winter 2011, the outdoor temps in Philly read 5 degrees.  This man is outside in shorts and a t-shirt running wind sprints. In 2010, he actually managed to be better than everyone anticipated.  Roy H. is precise, consistent and continually blows us away.  

Lee:  2008 Cy Young winner. I believe his biological parent’s are Jesus and Nolan Ryan. He is so fluid. So graceful. His form is nearly flawless. Chin to the plate consistently. He can make a grown man cry, and a grown woman need to change her panties.  He makes me say, “Werth who?”  Lee has played the roll of  the pitcher who got away, involved in a love affair with a legion of phaithful phans. Lee is a strike thrower. When the ball comes to the plate, he is always to the corners and down. That is skill.

Oswalt: Roy O. has voiced his consideration of retirement at the end of the 2011 season.  He has finished in the top five Cy Young noms, five times in his career. Well seasoned on the mound.  Roy is confident, accurate and ready to prove his worth. He is also a new fan favorite after his outfield performance last season in Philadelphia!!

Hamels: My pick for 2011 NL Cy Young. Hamels has gone from a little monster in a children’s fairytale to a mystical four-pitch beast. He shows up to spring training and throws his first session in mid season form! Cole is also only 27yrs old. He will continue to feed off of his mentors….and remember, his best days are yet to come.

Blanton: Ah. Joe. Yeah, he has a WS Ring. Yeah, he must feel like Jesus’ less successful brother.  He does have talent.  Joe can go deep. He was very inconsistent last year, and an early season injury delayed his development. I feel he will benefit greatly from the four horseman leading Charlie’s Disciples. It will only make him stronger.

The Bullpen:

2011 is the year we rebuild the previously named “Bridge To Lidge.” Mad Dog is a fantastic set-up, and promises no temper tantrums this year. Lidge came to spring training 100% healthy for the first time since 2008.  He has since experienced some soreness in his bicep and shoulder. If he can remain healthy, this will be a near perfect season for Brad. He has his confidence back, which is the hardest to regain after an injury.  The middle relievers are all average….which is all that we need when you have the starting rotation we have!

Offense: Really needs to step it up this season.  Everyone has a slump somewhere in their offensive stats.  Let’s just hope the Phillies had synchronized slumps. JRoll is the key.  When he brings the swag, everyone follows.  Let’s get those bats swinging….good pitching does not score you runs!

I predict the Phillies to finish with 116 wins this year, reminiscent of the 2001 Seattle Mariners, only…. we take it all. The Phab Phour will each carry 20+ wins.  Why, you ask? Since they won 97 games last year with 4/5 of the pitching talent they have this season and ¾ of the team on the DL at one time or another….I’m looking forward to a strong year all around.  I am anticipating the offense riding the wave of excitement and feeding off of the pitching induced high.  The Phils could hold many NL/MLB records this season. The rest of the NL East is mediocre at best.  The only ones who can beat these guys are themselves.  They have proven they are mentally vulnerable. On the other hand, they have proven their resilience. I am banking on a parade down Broad Street this fall.  We have the team to beat. Anything less would be an epic failure.

~ KimberLee