Howie (does not go) Long

Hoodwink’d        by  cj hood         
Howie (does not go) Long                   

The Wriz recently texted me and asked me if I was still down with the B-Team…like there was any doubt.  I’d never go the way of DB, Kornhole and Diamond Girl.  I’m a ‘Bunter for life.  I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing that I was leaving my legions of ‘Buntamaniacs (and/or Robin) starvin’ like Marvin’ for a Hoodwink’d blog.  So, here I is…back at the azz like Preparation-H.  Now prepare yourself to be put on blast!!!

 

RODNEY DANGERFIELD NEVER HAD TO EXPLAIN HIS JOKES!

FYI fellow ‘Buntamaniacs…when you see a disparaging post on Spacebook about Ryan Howard (or as my wife calls him Ron Howard) I’m the one that most likely posted it…so chew on that!  And while you’re busy dissing me on my sarcasm or lack thereof, keep in mind that your boy Howard bka Lil Opie Cunningham has the 5th most strikeouts in MLB.  That’s your clean-up hitter kids and this ish is mad weak!  Sarge called his swing pathetic when they got thumped by the Marlins 14-2 and later went on to say that ‘he’s in a slump’ during the current series with the Indians.  So stop boo hooing at the H-Double…numbers don’t lie bro!  He hit a game winning double in Arizona and half of Philly became semi-flaccid…that’s sad.  Again, he’s got a fat contract and hitting in the 4-hole…a game winning double should be the least we should expect.  He has no business batting clean-up, drop his ass to 6 or 7.  I hope we don’t end up selling in July, but I think it’s inevitable.  However, one thing is for sure….you’re boy Howie will be a Phightan for many years to come due to RAJ’s open check book.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy on a personal level (#nohomo), but Paper Lace (Google it) cranked out more hits ‘mang!  Show some pride Philadelphia…better yet recognize my award winning (BOTY ’11) sarcasm and gut busting wit:

 

 

I HAVE MORE FAITH IN THIS GUY IN THE 4-HOLE!

 

Now that I’m done putting my peeps on blast (I still love you ‘Buntamaniacs!) It’s time to focus on the positives.  We went out West and were more successful than DB29 was when he tried to be a soft porn actor (all his movies were very tasteful) (he doesn’t even read this blog anymore so who cares).  Frandsen, Brown and even Mayberrys’ bats are getting hot!  Pettibone’s making Halladay look like Hamels via Qualls.  We’re slowly clawing our way up the NL East standings. And last, but definitely not the leastest, the oily sausage is almost done pickling just in time for Meet & Greet III:  Netfather Strikes Back!  I’m looking forward to seeing my fellow bloggers (all 2 of them) including the Wriz’ shitty beard and riding around the K lot on Bill’s Segway.  Hopefully it stays dry and the Phils get the W…let’s get ‘bunted!