expletives deleted

  ***EDITOR'S NOTE**** This was submitted yesterday 

 View From the Left Coast by a Lefty:  <expletives deleted>

 

Inspired by the Phils/Rockies game 4/19. I will try very hard to keep this at least PG rated, but no promises. First rant... the phucking Ole' swipe tag crap at home plate. MLB has already once called the Phillies saying they blew a call at home plate costing us a run in a crucial situation. Tonight was a blatant bullshit call saying Chooch blocked the plate. The runner was not impeded and had a clear path to the plate between Chooch's spread legs. At least 3 feet. The runner slid, the ball arrived, the tag applied and runner called out. No problem, real baseball, good call. AND THEN THE WHINING TO THE UMPS and call to NY. Called out for blocking the plate. I am this -><- close to quitting watching baseball for the rest of the season. WTF are they seeing? Why don't they hire me? SMFH.

 

 

Second rant... damnit Ryan Howard why can't you slide your feet two feet to your left and block the ground ball, instead of waving at it and having it bounce off your glove for a "hit"? Phucking lazy ass, no defense, don't give a shit play. This, on top of constantly bailing on inside pitches and rolling them over into outs, is unacceptable. That is when you're not striking out. I don't care how much he makes, sit his ass down. He gets paid if he plays or not, so play somebody who gives you a better chance(can you spell Ruf, or even Franco).

 

 

And for the hell of it, Cody Asche can't hit a wiffle ball. I love him, but boot his ass down and give someone else a shot. Whooo, the name Franco comes up yet again. Ryno the margin for error this season is slim. We can't afford to be 8-10 games out come May. If that happens I say sit everyone and blow this team up to hell. Give Stub Hub a chance to make some money because there won't be much to be made if they implode. After this piece it's possible not many people will want to read me. But at the same time they may not want to watch crap baseball either. I calls'em as I sees'em folks, and I don't see much positive other than Cliff Lee or Chase Utley(who is coming back to earth) or even Rollins. It's 4 days until Hamels pitches his first game, but by then it could possibly be a fairly long losing streak. UGH.

 

                                                Bill S aka/netfather

cLOSER???

cLOSER???

 

I’ve always said the being a MLB closer is the most misunderstood job in sports. The job definition is easy. You take the mound, get outs and your team wins. It’s not any easy proposition. Closers, for the most part, don’t get the benefit of being put in a beneficial situation like the rest of the bullpen. They face whoever’s sent to the batters box. They’re typically “a little off” but I guess it comes with wanting to be the man in a do or lose situation all the time.

It goes beyond that. Being a closer doesn’t lend itself well to statistics especially when you have a bad game or two. He comes in gives up a bloop hit and then a home run it could take weeks for his ERA and WHIP to just look pedestrian again especially this early in the season.

I had thought about writing this piece last week, but it just felt better to make CJ Hood wait. I figured I missed my opportunity. Then, Paps is given the night off after 3 straight days of work. Jake Diekman loads the bases and blows the save when he serves up a grand salami to Dan Uggla. Phillies fans torture was compounded by the fact the team scored 5 in the 8^th to take the lead. Obviously from twitter and Facebook feeds the loss is on Papelbon because he didn’t pitch. GTFO! I love people saying he makes 14 million blah blah blah. I don’t know about you but I’d rather have him on the mound come September (if Lord willing, the Phillies are still in contention) than to have to find out if Diekman or Hollands or whoever is capable then.

Papelbon looked like dog shit in the one game he blew a save verse Texas, but it was ONE game. In his other appearances, he has 5IP no earned runs, one hit and one walk. I know he blew a bunch last year. Yeah, Yeah. He had 7 blown saves last year. You know who else had 7 last year? Mariano Rivera, the greatest closer of all time. Paps was also dealing with a hip injury. An injury he went out and battled thru until the offseason even though in reality it was over in August.

Call me a Papelbon apologist if you want, but for as goofy and as dim witted as he comes off, I don’t think there is anyone on this team except Utley who wants to win more.

 

See ya at the ballpark!

 

Jay Wrizight

jaywrizight@yahoo.com

Report Card

Hoodwink’d ​by cj hood

Report Card

 

WRIZ’ 12th GRADE REPORT CARD #PHYSICALEDUCATION

 

Kool Moe Dee used to grade other rap acts on the back of his albums back in the day.  Hence, the line from Beastie Boys’ Intergalactic, ‘Got an A from Moe Dee for sticking to themes.’  Piggybacking on that, I’ve decided to grade Ryno and his club for their first week of work. Check it!

 

Offense:  B+

The Phightans are finally scoring runs.  Chase is reppin’ hard, Howard is hitting off of lefties (although still striking out…A LOT!) & J*Roll quieted down his critics (for the time being)with a Slam on OD.  Moreover, the bench came thru as well ie Mayberry.  However, they couldn’t cut Sunday’s deficit in half and finished Week 1 with a .500 record.  Irregardless (not a real word), this is a promising start and feel we’ll score more runs this year than previously thought.  However, the latter hinges on the health of this aging team.

 

Defense: B

Chooch had a nice catch in the ‘Windy City’ & Byrd had 2 really great grabs as well. So, this grade should have been the highest on the card.  However, with a few errors in Chicago including Revere’s debacle in center yesterday, this grade slid to a B.

 

Starting Pitching: B

Lee was shaky on Opening Day, but got the win & came back hard in Chicago.  KK was ‘dependable KK’ and did his thing.  Roberto Hernandez bka Enrico Palazzo looked great!  AJ Burnett was decent in Texas and horrendous in Chicago.  He looked like the Burnett of old that New York put on a subway headed south to Pittsburgh.  We would have been better off with Carol Burnett yesterday.  I think AJ’s going to be the weak link in the chain this year.  Plus, he’s the reason I lost my first Fantasy matchup on the last day of competition.  F’ him & Darvish!

 

Bullpen: B-

Papelblown, Papelbomb, the screen door on Dorothy Gail’s house ‘closed better.’ We’ve heard all the jokes and they’re pretty much spot on.  The only thing moving more than 90mph with Jonathan is his mouth.  Put some movement on the ball son!  The rest of the pen is holding it down and they’re making a fraction of what you’re getting paid!!!

 

Ryno:  B

Shaking up the lineup & interesting bullpen moves have made Ryne more unpredictable than his predecessor.  Cholly would never put Chooch in the 2 hole even when he was all hopped up on pills.  He lost his first challenge and the .500 record speaks for itself, but I’m remaining optimistic.  Sandberg’s no-nonsense attitude and willing to switch things up will keep this complacent team on it’s toes.  I was leaning towards a B+ here, but I want to see how Week 2 goes first.

 

 

Overall:  B

I don’t think this team is going to be the ‘doom & gloom’ that everyone thought they’d be.  If they stay healthy, I think they could make the 2nd Wild Card…ya, I said it!  This will only happen if they continue to score more than 3 runs per game. I’m putting the 2014 Phillies at 87 wins.  Tell me where I’m wrong?  Come at me bro and let’s get ‘bunted!!!

Color Me Hopeful

              View from the Left Coast by a Lefty: Color Me Hopeful

 

After CJ's post last week, I knew I couldn't come close to what he wrote. That one alone should get him Bunter of the Year 14. Besides, being so far away all I get is box scores until the season starts so that brings me to the end of Week One. Right now, we are

3-3. That is pretty much my expectations of this team this year. None of this they should be 5-1, talkin bout what is. Having a chance to see them a couple times this week I see things I like and shit I hate.

 

Let's start with the batting order:

 

Revere CF - no complaints, I love the man. Picking up where he left off, always giving 110%, thumbs up.

Rollins SS - forget spring training, Jimmy is as Jimmy does, and he does well so far. No complaints at all... did I really say that?

Utley 2B - A+, he is the man. Gives 110% as usual, so far so good.

Howard 1B - yes he is hitting, but the way he's started I still see 175-200 K's. I still want 2 weeks with him to tweak his stance and straighten him out.

Byrd RF - good acquisition, he will outplay my expectations of him. Overpaid a tad but I can live with it.

Brown LF - so far so good as well. He's guessing well to start, the HR's will come. Don't press. But whoever said he has a good arm is full of shit. Average fielder.

Chooch C - as expected will not disappoint. Almost wanted to see him in 2nd spot but don't think he can handle it. Always 110% again, good signing.

Asche 3B - a letdown so far, I can see him pressing already even though he's the starter. I love him as well but if he doesn't wake up soon gimme Franco.

 

As a core group Rollins, Utley, and Howard ok but remember, we're only 6 games in. Health is a whole nuther ballgame and cannot be predicted.

 

Bench - I like Nix over Frandsen, Mayberry solid so far, Hernandez will shine in next year or two, Gwynne is tolerable for now, Nieves I believe is an upgrade over Kratz

 

Pitching:

 

Cliffy - Ace

Burnett - good signing, a tad overpaid, but necessary

Cole - the X factor, our hopes ride on him

KK - still after all these years an enigma. Flip a coin as to which KK starts a game.

Fausto Carmona - yes to me he is Carmona, if only he can pitch like Fausto did.

The Cuban Fucker they signed - total wild card, no clue at this point. Why can't Cuba just let their players go when they don't want to be there?

Manship - wow could he give us a lift... if only

 

Bullpen:

 

 

 

Wildcard for me so far. Unfortunately this has been a main problem for years. I like Lincoln, Hollands, Diekman, and De Fratus. Bastardo stil scares me. Papelbum is a POS and needs to go. Rosenberg is a step below Papelbum.

 

For a change this year I have no problems with base coaches or the hitting coach. Ryno and Bowa can and should do good things for this team. Just one man's opinion lol.

 

Don't know what else to tell you. 1 week is hardly a sample to make a seasonal decision on. But for my money I swear by the above. But what the hell do I know, I live across the country and am old school... which is why I trust Ryno. Yeah yeah, I can hear all of you lol.

 

Lastly, as it appears right now I won't be coming home this year for the MNG4. Fucking plane tix are through the roof. Only way for me to make it is win the powerball... which we all know will happen right after I give birth to triplets. So carry on for me, bitch at high speed to RAJ. Speaking of him, if the core of Utley, Rollins, and Howard were to go back to 2008 stats and we make the playoffs, imagine how hard it will be to get rid of RAJ then.

 

 

 

                                                Bill S aka/netfather