What better way to cure your Rupp hangover this fine Sunday morning than a special spot start blog from fellow 'Buntamaniac Joe Stratton. Enjoy!
THE MAN!
Can't the Phightens get some love? Just a little love? Before Spring Training even began all the "experts" were picking them to be the worse team since the 1962 Mets. Kevin Millar picked the Phanatic as his remote stopper. The sabermetric weenies, you know those guy's right? When choosing up sides to play wiffle ball he was only allowed to play because it was his ball and bat so you put him in right field. He grew up, lives in his mother's basement eating hotpockets and watching porn in his tightie whities, scouring Amazon for the latest craze in pocket-protectors. Same guy who couldn't get any play if he walked into a brothel with a hand full of $50's. Those guys picked the Phightens to be lower than whale crap. Only REAL Phans stuck by the team. We saw promise in this young group...we still do see a bright future and that future is not that far off. The bandwagon fans spent a lot of time in ER's around Delaware Valley getting treated for sprained ankles they got when they jumped off the bandwagon. The only thing these experts are saying is "Philadelphia boo'd Santa Claus"...yeah, that shit is getting told too.
What did true, real Phans do? They looked for improvement from last years fiasco. Keep developing the young players, put in bits and pieces in the 25 man roster to play competitive ball and wait for the results. I hoped, and picked them to win 75 games this year which would have been a 9 game improvement. So what happens? You wake up on Sunday morning, May 15, 2016 to find the Phightens 7 games over .500 and a game out of 1st place in the NL East. They didn't do this by beating just the scrub teams because all the experts picked them to be THE scrub team. They used the broom on the gNats at gNats home. They swept another expert-picked front-runner, the Indians. They are not doing it with smoke and mirrors...they are proving that good pitching and clutch-hitting wins games. Sure, their run-differential, which is another sabermetric weenie stat, isn't sexy. Matter of fact I believe they are on the negative side BUT all that matters is the win and loss columns. Do you get more credit for winning a game by 6 runs than you do if you win by 1 run? OH HELL NO!!!
They are winning with only one position player who has All Star stats, they are doing it with a closer who can't break 100mph on his fast ball and most people couldn't pick him out of a line-up, like an unnamed closer in the Bronx, they are doing it with someone like Freddie "Effing" Galvis tied for go-ahead RBIs in the NL with some guy named Harper. They are doing it with two of the old guard from the last parade down Broad Street contributing. Howard is on pace for 30 long balls. Don't tell me about him having a low batting average or that he strikes out too much until you compare him to other, sexier names. There are 22 players who have K'd more than Howard in the majors this year.
So, all you "experts" and bandwagon fans (no PH on purpose), let me mark off a spot on me arse for you to pucker up to. We may not see a parade down Broad Street this year but we are showing you that you don't shit from shinola.
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