MIA @ PHI

Ay dios mio.

The opening day/home opener hoopla has come and gone; in its wake lie a completely UNEXPECTED 1-3 record. Sunday’s bullshit ending (thanks, Herndon) coupled with yesterday’s loss with Hamels on the mound seemed to have sucked the life out of so many of our fellow fans. While it was understood that our offense was depleted, I don’t think anyone would have
thought 2012 would start off being so {INSERT NEGATIVE ADJECTIVE OF YOUR CHOICE HERE}. I think the title of this article sums up what’s going on: the Phillies are HURTING with the Big Piece and Chutley MIA.

What the Phillies have in experience, they are lacking in power hitters or solid infield play. So, where does that leave us? While I am not ready to sound any alarms, it’s not all glitter and unicorns for me this season. I have the Phillies coming in just over 90 wins this year; my guess will be 92. The silent bat issue has plagued us since last year, and we all remember how that turned out. Silent bats = early postseason exit. It’s a fact, no matter how great your pitching rotation is. Of course, pitching IS our strongest suit, and it kills me to think that the likes of Halladay, Lee, Hamels and Worley can’t get some freaking run support. And here’s another nightmare scenario to consider - what happens if one of them go down? THEN WHAT? On the positive side, I think Chooch is gonna have one hell of a year. (Side note – is it me, or did Chooch put some lbs on over the winter?) Hamels will earn that contract he’ll get mid-season… cha-CHING! I think he could be the strongest contender for the Cy Young. Yes, I remember saying that last year but I am saying it again. I think the games will be a lot less exciting than what were used to, but if the Phils can re-adapt to some small ball play, we will be OK. Coming in at 92 games isn’t the end of the world. We’ve been so, SO spoiled since 2008.

Roy Halladay (1-0, 0.00) is pitching tomorrow night at CBP against the Marlins Josh Johnson (0-1, 4.50), so I have a feeling the Fightin’s will log their 2nd “W” of 2012. It’s a start, right? Baby steps…

God I can’t believe I am saying that about this team. I almost want to punch myself in the face for even THINKING that.

No worries guys - MY Chase Utley will be ready to go if the need arises!

Have great week Bunters!

-DiamondGirl215

Opening Day Hangover

The Fightin' Phils opened the season with a win. Halladay had to be Halladay to make it happen. We also got our first look at Cinco Ocho. Jonathon Papelbon lived up to the bill. 1-0? We will take it. You wait all winter for Opening Day, what follows? An off day. I get why it's necessary, if Opening Day gets rained out they can't reschedule it for sometime in August. It is a let down none the less. So, what is a rabid baseball fan to do when the season is so fresh and you want more baseball? Watch some other games. Unfortunately, Friday was an American League heavy schedule. As most Bunters know, I am not a fan of the American League. I am already dreading next year’s realignment. It will mean Inter League play every day of the season. Opening Day through game 162 will feature at least 1 Inter league matchup. I guess it's time to see what the American League is all about.

First game I checked out was the Yankees/Rays. How can the first game of the season last 3 hours, 44 minutes? This was a 9 inning game! The Phillies and Pirates game went 10 last night and was only 3 hours 15 minutes long. One big reason is over managing. Joe Maddon used 5 pitchers in 2 innings. Mind you, the Yankees never got a runner to 3rd base in either inning. It wasn't like his pitchers were in trouble. I know managers get paid to play the matchups to their advantage, but the American League is out of control. Also, the catcher mound visits seem to happen 3 times more often then your typical National League game. I thought Jorge Posada retired? The whole game seems like it's in slow motion. Batters and pitchers both move like Philadelphia trash men waiting for OT to kick in. It's a joke.

Some other observations:

- Albert Pujols Bobble head day is Tuesday. They didn't wait very long, did they?

- Raul Ibanez went yard and had 4 RBI's. Would a 1 year deal here been so bad?

- Mark Trumbo can't play 3rd. I guess when you give Albert Pujols a half a billion dollars he is going to play first. Trumbo had a great rookie season with 29 bombs. I see a lot of DH games in his future.

- If Bruce Chen is your Opening Day starter, I don't like your chances. The Royals will be the same old sad sack team again this year.

- Balkin' Bob Davidson calls every check swing a swinging strike.

- I think all Fox Sports stations have a couple of hot chicks that handle their social media. You can Face Book or Twitter these shanks and ask them questions. I would love to read some of the unedited ones.

Charlie gets, as Eugene puts it, 'A Laminated Hall Pass' from me. But I got to ask. Did anyone else wonder why he pinch hit for John Mayberry Jr. and not for Freddie Galvis last night?

Keep It Classy Philly!

DB29

Fortune Teller

Predictions are kinda like that broken clock thing. Eventually, you’ll get something right.  My 2010 predictions were pretty spot on which inspired my best 2011 prediction which was that my 2011 predictions would “shit the bed.” Not too far off, but I did nail a few things. I said Tommy Hanson and Jay Bruce would breakout. Bruce did. Hanson was well on his way (10-4 at the break) until he got hurt and only managed 26 IP in the second half. I correctly said Hellickson would win the AL CY and that Heyward would be a huge bust. Check and Check. I said Kershaw was the dark horse candidate if the Phillies aces split votes. That was some Nostradamus type shit right there as Halladay and Lee finished second and third respectively.

But enough about last year, the Wriz proudly presents his 2012 best guesstimates:

Over/Unders

Chase Utley games played-- 81. UNDER

Ryan Howard games played-- 81. OVER

Vanimal wins—12 ½. UNDER

Papelbon saves – 40 ½. OVER

Pierre bunts for base hits—7. PUSH

Hamels deal—5/130 mil. OVER WAY OVER

Pence avg--.310. UNDER

Young John’s HR—19. OVER

Doc’s W’s—19 ½. OVER

Lee HR’s 1 ½. UNDER

Polanco’s New Era size—8. TOO EASY

Fat Joe’s ERA 4.25—UNDER

I believe the Phillies season hinges on 3 things: small ball, John Mayberry Jr. and Joe Blanton. Small ball to compensate for the lack of power. JMJ to protect Pence. And Blanton well to show he’s no Bob’s Big Boy but the legit ML pitcher he’s capable to be. If 2 of the 3 produce, the Phillies will win the East for the 6^th consecutive time. If one produces, they win a Wild Card spot. Zero and we will remember what Flyers training camp is like.

NL Predictions:

MVP: Hunter Pence, Phillies. Maybe I’m just being a homer, but he produced in HOU with nothing. So being the man here should be a piece of cake.

Cy Young: Halladay, Lee, Hamels. I can’t pick a Phillie for both MVP and CY.  Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers.

ROY: Yonder Alonzo, Padres. He can flat out hit.

Biggest Bust: Ryan Braun, Brewers. He has something to prove. Sadly, without PED’s he won’t be able.

AL Predictions:

MVP: Miguel Cabrera, Tigers. He’ll have a year bigger than his waistline. Fielder won’t that’s impossible.

Cy Young: Felix Hernandez, Mariners. The King will retake his throne.

ROY: Yu Darvish, Rangers. Darvish and Matt Moore will be neck and neck all year but the Rangers will be better than the Rays giving Yu the W. (I wouldn’t be at all surprised if one or both are in the Cy Young discussion come September.)

Biggest Bust: Yoenis Cespedes, Athletics. He’s not MLB ready... yet.

Miscellaneous:

-Nyjer Morgan won’t finish the season so he can play Pookie in New Jack City 2.

-Brewers games at CBP will be dominated by “U took steroids” chants.

-Josh Hamilton will be sober…..during games. He’s no Darryl Strawberry nor a Red Sox reliever.

-The Marlins are a powder keg, but Jose Reyes is too lazy to light the fuse. Thankfully, Ozzie and Hanley will fight over who gets to do it.

-The WS Champion Cardinals would finish no better than 4^th in every division, but their own. The NL Central cellar dweller should be relegated to AAA.

Phillies Bunts

1. 2012 is the year the Bunts explode so tell your friends about us so you seem extra cool because you’re in the know. (Vegas won’t take odds on that prediction because is more of a known fact!)

2. CJ Hood uses the blog as a launching pad, gets a Comedy Central special but misses the gig to wait in line when tickets finally go on sale for the Beastie Boys next tour.

3. Kornhole will write ONE blog without bashing the Mets. It will get him fired.

4. DiamondGirl will have her belts and shoelaces taken away when Chase retires mid-July

5. Bill S will meet the love of his life at the Bunts Meet and Greet, get married and move back east. She however was hoping for a long distance relationship and will serve him papers before Red October.

6. Bob Ross will paint a new back round for the blog in honor of the House of Funkhousers return to commenting on the Bunts.

** No DB29 predictions as he’s on suspension for stealing The Wriz material spoiler alert material. (See Wriz 2011 prediction piece and DB29 2012 piece)

See ya at the ballpark!

Jay Wrizight

jaywrizight@yahoo.com

Afternoon Delight

Happy Thursday/Friday Bunters!

*** Note: This entry was supposed to be published last night, but the Blogger App absolutely sucks ASS :( or maybe your amazing author was a little too tuned up to be able to properly post from a smartphone. You decide.***

WELCOME 2012 BASEBALL!!! After a long, boring winter our boys are finally back.

The baseball Gods were kind to me as the Phillies started their season out here on the Western side of PA. If you were in attendence you may not have even noticed you weren't in Philadelphia; Throughout PNC Park, vibrant red and white shined through an otherwise dull sea of yellow and black on a gorgeous, atypical April afternoon in Pittsburgh.

The Pittsburgh fans were at the usual best - craptastic. I had NO idea that the Pittsburgh PENGUINS were out on the field against the Phillies...

"Wait DiamondGirl. What the hell are you talking about?!"

Everywhere we went throughout PNC Park, I was met met with "LETS GO PENGUINS". I was quite confused, because I thought that April 5th was opening day for baseball. Instead, i was met with their lame Pens cheers, coupled with "F*ck the Flyers". Hey, that's all fine, well and good but we're here for baseball, morons. Not that any one of them gave a shit about the Pirates. I did try to do my civic duty of letting them know they were here for something other than blowing Sidney Crosby.

Despite kicking off the season in baseball's version of hell, it was a glorious day to see Roy Halladay go 8 innings, and witnessing Jonathan Papelbon in Phillies pinstripes for the first time.

I thought I'd share a few of the creative zingers overheard from yesterday:

"Hey look! Pap-smear!" (yep, when Papelbon came out to the mound).

"Phillies suck!" (wow. i mean, really?)

"Boy I tell ya, I like that Huntingdon, West Virginia. They have a lot of stuff down there. They got an Applebee's and everything." (No, I'm so serious. I heard this).

"Chase Utley, don't be a dick." (Check the photo below of that zinger)

"This Pittsburgh water sucks. There's nothing like cold, Philly bathroom tap water right from the spigot." (ahhhhh, Miss South Philly with that one)

"Hey guys, it's cute that you actually filled the ballpark today." (my Phillies companion.This was meet with blank stares and the sound of crickets chirping)

Hope you all enjoyed opening day!!!

LETS GO PHILLIES!!

- DiamondGirl215

Here's a few pics from yesterdays game:

THE NIGHT BEFORE OPENING DAY ‘12

Hoodwink’d by cj hood

THE NIGHT BEFORE OPENING DAY ‘12

AT LEAST HE'S NOT ON THE D.L.

'Twas the night before Opening Day, when all through the park

Not a creature was stirring, not even a lark;

The bats were hung by the helmets with care,

In hopes that the Phillies soon would be there;

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of a parade danced in their heads;

And Mom in her Pence Jersey, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long spring nap,

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to Citizens Bank I flew like a flash,

Tore up 476 and almost near crashed.

The Bunts staff was blogging like there was no tomorrow

while Mets fans drank Schlitz; drowning their sorrows,

When, my wondering eyes saw the mound and the bases,

A new jumbo tron, a Chooch and four aces,

With a stout old coach, so lively and jolly,

I knew in a moment it must have been Cholly.

More rapid than the Eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Hamels! now, Worley! now, Blanton and Lee!

On, Galvis! on Rollins! and hopefully Utley!

From the dugout! to the top of the wall!

They dashed away! dashed away! dashed away all!"

As dirt kicked up before the wild hurricane fly,

The Pirates an obstacle? now that is a lie,

So onto the diamond the coursers they flew,

With mitts in their hands, and Papelbon too.

McCarthy and Sarge were calling the game

Boy we miss Harry; Oh! What a shame,

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Doc Halladay, emerged, and took to the mound.

He was dressed in a throwback, from his head to his foot,

And the strength of his arm could throw a shot put;

AJ’s eye in a patch; McCutchen’s hair like a mop

We Are Family no more; all Karsten’s throwing is slop

Three up and three down as Chooch made the calls!

Two strike-outs, a pop-out, and only one ball!

The Yankees were buying like Corbett was cutting

Hamilton was drinking while A-Rod was strutting

Braves fans went to games did not even care,

Tony LaRussa retired to spend more time on his hair;

Ozzie’s in Miami, Jose Reyes is too,

But so is Lebron, that place is a zoo

Pence hit homeruns, Polanco looked great,

Howard returned before the AllStar break

Chooch was an AllStar before it was done.

And the Doctor repeated as this year's Cy Young,

Bastardo delivered and so did Worley

As did Shane and Pierre and Jimmy Thome.

The Phightans scored runs as Fielder got fatter,

Who we met in October did not even matter;

We took out the brooms; got them in four,

World Fuckin' Champs, the Phillies once more.

Can't wait til Thursday; dress warm cuz it's freezing,

"Good Luck Philadelphia, and to the fans a great-season."

April Fool

Spoiler alert! If you don't want to know what will happen this season in Major League baseball stop reading. It's prediction time.

First, let's talk about the only team that matters, the Fightin' Phils. Baseball Prospectus has the Phillies winning 88 games this season. Will they take my 'Over' action? I don't see them winning 102 like last season but 93 wins will be plenty to win the NL East for the 6th straight time. They will struggle until the All Star break, and 'gasp', they may not even be .500. Howard and Utley come to the rescue and after slow starts for both, they help the Phils to a MLB best 52-23 after the break. They enter the playoffs as the hottest team in baseball. And after they dispatch the Nationals and Giants, they best the Detroit Tigers in a 7 game epic. More than half the fan base will show up to the parade in casts, having broken their ankles jumping off the bandwagon when the Phillies were 41-46 at the All Star break. That's the big picture as I see it.

Awards predictions.
NL MVP - Ryan Zimmerman

AL MVP - Miguel Cabrera

NL Cy Young - Matt Cain

AL Cy Young - Jared Weaver

NL Batting Champ - Hunter Pence

AL Batting Champ - Miguel Cabrera

NL HR Champ - Joey Votto

AL HR Champ - Albert Pujols

NL Manager of the Year - Charles Fuqua Manuel Jr.

AL Manager of the Year - Jim Leyland

Playoff Teams.
NL Division Winners - Phillies, Reds, Giants. Wild Cards - Diamond Backs, Nationals.

AL Division Winners - Yankees, Tigers, Angels. Wild Cards - Rangers, Red Sox.

Random predictions.
- The Mets are gonna suck...I really went out on a limb there.

- Chipper Jones will end his career on the DL.

- Jamie Moyer will have more wins than Johan Santana.

- The Pirates will finally finish a season over .500.

- Wheels will say "No Doubles Defense" at least once.

This is going to be a 'hang in there' kind of year. Remember the World Series isn't won in April, May or June.

Keep It Classy Philly!

DB29

Laminated Hall Pass?

As the Phillies are closing in on the end of Spring Training, there are questions about the Phillies upcoming season and the future of Chase Utley. The questions about the Phillies and most of those about Chase Utley have been asked for the past several weeks, so I’m not going to ask the same questions we’ve already been hearing. The question I have about Utley is: does he get a free pass from Phillies fans? And if so, Why?

I’m sure as Phillies fans we’ve been notoriously tough on athletes in Philadelphia. Everyone from Mike Schmidt to Eric Lindros to Donovan McNabb have been booed by the Philadelphia faithful. Despite making key post season errors Chase Utley seems to get a free pass by the fans. Is it because he plays so hard and was a key contributor to the 2008 World Series Championship, or his famous speech after the parade that has given him a pardon?

I’m not saying that Utley deserves to be booed, or that he deserves to get by with a free pass, but the fact of the matter is, is that Utley has done his fair share to get under the skin of Phillies fans, and yet he always seems to fly under the harshest critic’s radar. Lately, Utley has been a lot like Andy Reid by holding press conferences and not giving any type of information that we, as fans, feel we’re entitled to.

All through Spring Training, the Phillies and Utley were telling us he’d be ready for opening day. It wasn’t until Jimmy Rollins mentioned to Jason Stark of ESPN that he doesn’t see how Utley could play in his condition with the pain he’s going through that that assumption was questioned. Suddenly, Utley went to see a specialist and then we were told he’d be doubtful for April 5. Now, there’s all sorts of secrecy about what’s really happening. One day I’m hearing he has no cartilage in either of his knees, and today I’m hearing one knee is 100%, and the other is only missing some cartilage.

Are the Phillies lying to us? The Phillies really have nothing to gain by lying; however they seem to be trying to keep this whole thing a secret. Last week, GM Ruben Amaro Jr. was on the Mike Missanelli show and when asked about Utley he said “I’ll let Chase answer those questions.” Yesterday when Utley spoke he didn’t give much information other than to say that he won’t be ready and that he’s going to take his time.

Is Chase Utley lying to the Phillies? Or Did Utley mislead the Phillies during the offseason on his condition? Or did the injury really occur after he started fielding at Spring Training? I’m sure if the Phillies knew of Utley’s condition they wouldn’t have traded Wilson Valdez, and be left having to rely on Freddy Galvis at second-base. Amaro even admitted in the same interview with Missanelli that it was a mistake trading Valdez and when asked if he would make that trade again saying “absolutely not” or something to that sort.

Is the Phillies medical staff just complacent? Let’s face it. Ryan Howard’s injury happened because at the end of last year they didn’t treat the tendinitis in his ankle which directly led to his Achilles injury. I know it was the post-season, but having a player who already has limited mobility out there with one bad food he’s not offering much to help the team. He did, however, deliver a key home-run in Game 1.

Back to Utley. Why does it seem like he’s always getting a free pass? Jimmy Rollins has been a vocal leader on and off the field, and has always said what’s on his mind. He notoriously called Phillies fans front runners in 2008 and heard it from the fans. Howard has been booed at times from Phils fans just for his knack of striking out often even though he habitually hits 40 home-runs and has over 100 RBI’s. Utley’s stats have been declining since the beginning of 2009 season, and we’re all well aware of Utley’s post season throwing errors in back to back games in 2009.

Last season, Marcus Hayes of the Philadelphia Daily News said that Utley gets a free pass because he is white, and Rollins and Howard, both former MVP’s don’t have the same luxury as Utley because they’re black. I’m not saying it’s true, but it’s a very valid point that they’re both former MVP’s and both receive traditional Philadelphia treatment. While it’s a valid point, I truly believe its bullshit because Cole Hamels was the biggest reason for the 2008 Championship, and he received worse than Rollins and Howard less than a year after winning NLCS MVP, and World Series MVP. Maybe we expect more from players we know can perform at that higher level.

Chase Utley has played hard since coming to Philadelphia. He’s made great plays with his glove during the 2008 run, and made stupid errors. He also famously proclaimed “World Fucking Champions” during the Phillies World Series celebration. It’s something that a blue collar city like Philadelphia can respect from a blue collar guy like Utley. Maybe we feel Utley has earned our respect, and instead we let out our frustrations on Rollins and Howard who are less consistent than Utley at times, and sometimes have that “I don’t care attitude.”

Whatever the reason, I just want the Phillies to go back to being the Phillies we expect to win with Utley and Howard filling in the three and four spots respectively in the lineup. With those two at 100% and a stronger bench and still with this pitching staff the Phillies window of opportunity is still open, and I’m not quite ready for it to close yet.

Eugene