Resolution Time

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood

Resolution Time

 

JOE BLANTON’S DOPPELGANGER

2012 New Year's resolutions for the Phightans (& the like) are:

-Chooch will brush up on his English.

-Howard will not make the last out of the season.

-Utley will take it one base at a time.

-J*Roll will earn his $33 mill EVERYDAY of the season.

-Polanco will stay healthy (cuz there’s 3 bench players foaming at the mouth for 

 his spot).

-Thome will make it 630.

-Blanton will lose 10 lbs.

-Pence will come thru in the playoffs. 

-Big Daddy Shane will keep on keeping.

-Mayberry will quiet his critics permanently.

-D*Brown will play his heart out (so he could be traded away in July).

-Doc will win his 3rd Cy Young.

-DB29 will finish that sit up.

-Hamels will (stop shaving) have a mustache by September.

-Blanton will gain 7 lbs.

-Raul will re-sign for less money and become a leader in the locker room.

-lil Roy will put his tail between his legs, re-sign, and ride the bullpen.

-Papelbon will be like ‘08 Lidge (and not ‘09, ‘10 & ‘11 Lidge).

-Wheels will see boobs ‘in real life.'

-the Phillies Bunts FB page will get 500 ‘likes.’

-Tommy Mac will take his shirt off in the booth.

-Vanimal will find the cure for rabies.

-As a result of Hoodwink’d, I will be hired by CSN to do a weekly Phils

 show with Amy Fadool.

-Amaro will finally get the bat we so desperately need!

-Diamond Girl will get her restraining order against Utley lifted.

-Is It 7:05 Yet? will stop running stories on Pat Burrell.

-the Wriz and the Phanatic will makeup and then make out.        

-Madson will follow suit with lil Roy.

-Blanton will gain 5 lbs.

-Lee will keep on keeping (even in the playoffs).

-Valdez will close out at least 2 games.

-Kendrick will know his role.

-Herndon will produce more runs than a midnight meal at Denny’s.

-Cholly will speak a complete sentence.

-the ‘Bunts will have their own float on Parade Day in October.

-Finally, more phans will get ‘bunted in ‘12 than ever before!

WILL WE SEE THIS AGAIN IN 2012?