Raising Hell

Hoodwink’d by cj hood

Raising Hell

Yo! I’m still kinda pissed how last week’s Hoodwink’d turned out with the sh*tty fonts. I write all week from different places and then I do the ole ‘copy & paste-o’ and as a result it looks like a suicide note from a mental patient. Can’t Bill Gates fix this noise? All I got out of last week’s piece was a sympathy comment from DB29…there was some solid material in that ep….go back & check it!

As of Thursday, I saw zero games this week cuz my cable provider is garbage. I missed another poor series by our Phils to the San Fran ‘they might be’ Giants. Lee got me 17 pts in fantasy, but it could have been 27 if Cholly acted like it was 2012 & not 1992. I held back dissing Thome last week, but this week’s different. Don’t play him bro! I love him, but let him serve a mentoring role cuz at this point he couldn’t hit a beachball with a fat bat. While we’re talking about fantasy, on the strength of the Wriz, I started Jon ‘forget the H’ Lester this week. Well he got shelled and I dropped his ass in a fit of rage! Now I’m the laughing stock of my league…but still undefeated mind you!

All in all it’s been a rough week. The ‘youngest teenager’ died who got his start in Illadelphia. Not even Cialis could bring that Dick back! #AB Moreover, our Phils are going down harder than Columbian prostitutes. And like I said, my cable provider blows! So I decided to handle my rage like a man. Since my 9’s fresh out of bullets I decided to pick up the mic and get ill. 

KINGS FROM QUEENS

It’s Sh*tty

This speech is my recital, I think it’s very vital

To show the Phils, don’t be a dilz,

It’s Sh*tty is my title, he we go

It’s sh*tty not to show the Phils,

To show the Phils, I pay my bill

It’s sh*tty, sh-sh-sh*tty, sh*tty

I watch them late and even early, word to Vance Worley!

MLB co blacks them out, I’m dissed like Mr Furley

CSN is really sleazy, got me feeling queasy

3 channels show the Flyers, but no Phils, it’s really cheesy

It’s sh*tty not to show the Phils,

To show the Phils, I pay my bill

It’s sh*tty,

(How is it DB?)

It’s sh*tty, sh*tty

(sh*tty, sh*tty)

In Philly, the girlies talk & want to know the ‘Bunts

They really hawk, but we just walk and tell them ‘wash their…hands’

And it’s a pity, cuz if the Sixers and the Flyers win

I’m stuck watching Real Housewives like to who knows when

It’s sh*tty not to show the Phils,

To show the Phils, I pay my bill

It’s sh*tty,

(How is it Wriz?)

It’s sh*tty, sh*tty

(sh*tty, sh*tty)

***DJ Net Father’s scratch solo***

***Diamond Girl & the Utley Chasers dance routine***

When I wake up gotta check my phone to see if they won

I’m not bitchin, but I’m snitchin, cuz I missed all the fun

People braggin on Facebook ‘bout the stand out star

FML, not LOL because it’s really FUBAR

A girl named Robin posts on Facebook almost all of the time

Won’t diss her or dismiss her cuz she’s in my rhyme

I ain’t lyin, Sixers dyin, THAT I see on TV

Bother my poor father, for the score, cuz he gets the Phillies

It’s sh*tty not to show the Phils,

To show the Phils, I pay my bill

It’s sh*tty,

(How is it?)

It’s sh*tty, sh*tty

(sh*tty, sh*tty)

Wheels wears a plug, y’all on drugs cuz you won’t carry the Phils

Til the Sixers f’ it up like morning after pills

It’s like that y’all, y’all, but I won’t quit

Being a fan, hot damn! cuz this is sh*t!!!!!!!

PS: My cable did show last night’s game….stayed up til 12:30. I hope Pence didn’t get hurt on that awkward slide. AND Wriz also told me to bench Worley this week….lost 25 fantasy points bro. We’re at CBP West (PetCo) this weekend…let’s get ‘bunted!!!