Friday, August 26, 2011

Natural Disasters

Hoodwink’d    by cj hood
Natural Disasters

FAT BOYS ARE BACK!

-Here Comes The Rain Again…falling on the field better get the tarp.
-I think Cole would go on the DL with a hang nail, so I’m not sweatin his stint.
-Diamondwacks are more overrated than flash mobs!
-Republicans are already blaming Obama for the earthquake.
-3 ways I'll know when it's October: Leaves changing colors, Phils winning WS, Kim Kardashian filing for divorce.
-take the rain out of the ‘Nats series & the Phils sweep.
-thanks for everything Raul…you’re a class act.
-Bastardo blew it…things happen.
-what is the chance that Wheels is dressed like the Gorton's fisherman for the day/night doubleheader?
-is Howard hurt?  what did I miss?
-Philly shook; while New York quivered.
-In Madson We Trust.

JAPAN’S LAUGHING AT US!

-thanks for ‘08 Lidge…don’t let the door hit ‘cha on your way out!
-can we trade Gload for a bag of Quick Dry.
-and starting at left field Jooooooooohn Maaaaaaaayberry!!!!!
-Here I Am! Rock You Like A Hurricane!
-hold on to Ben Francisco as a PH.
-Valdez bka Senor Clutch
-I just upgraded my Howard with a Mayberry.
-and we we‘re Shakin (oh oh oh oh oh).
-Lidge & Stutes are starring in a new crime drama called “Sunrise & Sunset”
-the punchline above is…they’re both so f’in predictable!
-Victorino is Hawaiian for MVP!!!
-my father’s a retired teacher who has a FB fanpage w/more ‘Likes’ than the Bunts page.

COME ON IRENE...OR I SWEAR...

-I like the Citizen’s Bank commercials w/the dead presidents.
-f’ the Braves!
-Thome’s hat size never increased.
-Arod was drinking O’Douls (at the Casino near my crib during his rehab) like a fancy boy.
-Ho, Ho, Ho Dead Giants!
-last weekend CBP had a Maddox’s Rib Fest, while this weekend they're having a Fish Fry.
-the picture of the one lawn chair on the ground was never funny.
-Polanco’s not skipping a beat.
-J*Roll’s not making a case for a new contract.
-Worley & Schneider are Philly’s own Starsky & Hutch.
-Remember...the Phightans roll like mail carriers:  Neither by snow nor rain nor heat nor darkness from accomplishing their appointed course with all speed.
-I’m going to see Lee pitch Saturday night….let’s get ‘bunted!!!






3 comments:

  1. i dropped a canadian earthquake in my toilet. massive poopies!!

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  2. Hamels would go on the DL with a bad hair day. Still love his metro, leaning towards homo ass. And.....hate to break it to ya...Your not seeing Lee pitch tomorrow night. Sorry bro.

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  3. only i would buy tix for a game that was going to cancelled by a hurricane. @anonymous: double flush bro!

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