Tear Jerk

Hoodwink’d by cj hood

Tear Jerk

After last week's Bunts' Made for TV Movies ('Tickets for a Friend', 'HK Memories' & 'Struggles of the Female Fan'), I decided it was time for Hoodwink'd to tug at your heart strings. So, grab some tissues kids.....it's sap time. (cue the Kenny G muzak)

MY MAN DOESN’T OWN NOR WORK AT A CASINO.

-Hamels' couldn't clock the W for Kruk.

-Halladay should not be pitching complete games this far into the season whether we’re winning or losing.

-I was diagnosed with asthma at age 12.

-We would have beaten the Diamondbacks in game 1 if Martinez fielded that ball cleanly.

-I wrote a letter to Samantha Fox asking her to my 8th Grade Dance....she never wrote back.

-I had appendicitis in 5th grade.

-Andy Reid's pants size is Tent.

-I'm not as handsome in real life as some might think I am.

-Polanco's on the DL.

-Hamels has shoulder strain.

-Playgirl turned down DB29.

-Bill’s alimony > America's debt to China

-In 7th grade I fell off my bike and dislocated my knee cap.

-My goldfish died.

-Rain ruined the chances of winning the series against the 'Nats.

ASK DEBBIE GIBSON CHUBBY!

-my wife doesn't let me go out drinking with my friends every night.

-I was at CBP only once this season.

-Paul Lynde is no longer the center square.

-2 other guys are wearing Peter & Aces' makeup.

-JRoll might not get re-signed.

-Kornhole got his own TV show, then he didn't, and then he did, but then he didn't.

-Chooch got hit in the nizzy nutz!

-I can't fly.

-Wheels.

-I’ve never been to an Eagles game.

-Shane Victorino has back strain from caring the offense.

-I am not a millionaire.

-the Phils aren't undefeated.

-In 9th grade I went to see Andre the Giant for the first time but Bobby Heenan wrestled in his place.

-This is Raul Ibanez' last season in a Phils uni.

-Donna Martin almost didn't graduate high school.

-D*Brown was a bigger disappointment than New Coke.

-I’m too depressed to get ‘bunted…

THIS PUPPY CAN’T READ.